Ugly
by Angelene111
Summary: Hoss was different from his brothers in many ways. In speech, mannerisms and seemingly his level of education. What would cause a baron, knowing his sons would one day take over the enterprise, to not push one of them to be the best version of himself? What would cause one to fall so far and be forgotten about? We know Hoss was bullied. Could this have really been enough?
1. Chapter 1 Greener Pastures

**Ugly**

_That's enough! You're done crying. You're embarrassing me and you're embarrassing yourself, acting no better than a two year old. You've been walking around here moping for weeks now and I'm sick of it. You're ma's dead and she ain't ever coming back. No amount of sulking or feeling sorry for yourself is going to change that. It's time you start acting like a man. I swear by God, if I see one more tear come out of you, I'll give you a reason to cry. Now, get your butt up and get back to work._

**Chapter**

Greener Pastures

"One, two." The small hand skipped the piece across the board landing on the other side, then pulled two opposing pieces off and set them aside.

"You can't jump over the fire Little Joe." The larger boy set his pieces back on the board and put Little Joe's piece back in place. "Stay on the black." The curly haired tot scrunched his features, scrutinizing the board. The serenity of the night was broken by hooves thundering into the yard. Hoss whose back was to the door looked behind him at the sound. He looked back at the tot before him whose body had gone rigid and eyes widened. The tot clamped his ears as in anticipation of the tragedy to come. Their old man who had been crunching numbers at his desk was instantly on high alert. He stood and pulled open the top drawer of his desk and drew the pistol concealed within. The little one ran to his Pa and held him tight burying his face in his father's trousers. "Hoss, get your brother." The older boy gently pulled his sibling away from his father. Little Joe turned to Hoss, who lifted him up allowing his head to be buried in the gape of his neck. He carried him to the corner of the room and did his best to make the two of them as small as possible. A moment later the footsteps stampede up to the door. His father was ready for whatever was to come through.

"Pa! Pa!" The call preceded the man. It was Adam. _What in the devil's gate is going on here?_

He burst through the door eyes gleaming with excitement. "What is it Adam? Are you ok?" His father asked stepping forward concerned. Adam stopped at the site of the pistol which was still in his father's grasp. _Was he going to shoot me? _He looked at his trembling brother in the corner clinging to his middle. At that moment the young man understood. His shoulders fell forward. Oh how could he be so stupid? How could he have forgotten?

"I'm sorry Little Joe. I didn't mean..." At that his father turned from concern to furious, realizing that no emergency existed.

"What's all this gallivanting?" His father's voice boomed, placing the pistol back in its place. His pa could be scary when he was mad. "Come trolloping into the yard like you're on fire. Scaring your brother half to death."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Darn right, you weren't thinking. Come racing in here after I told you specifically no more of that, unless it was an emergency. This better be an emergency. What is it? What do you have to explain for yourself?" Adam held his tongue. He wasn't used to such harsh words from his pa. "Come on, speak boy."

"I got accepted."

"You what?"

"Harvard, Pa. I got accepted." He solemnly drew up the letter in hand. This wasn't how he envisioned the moment would go. Ben softened.

"Oh son. I knew you could do it." At this, Adam allowed himself a smile. Just like that all was right with the world. "I'm so proud of you. Come here. Give me a hug." Adam smirked as his father embraced him. It was weird for his father to be hugging him at his age but this was a momentous occasion. He guessed it was ok. Hoss saunters over still holding Little Joe.

"Congratulations big brother." He offers humbly. Little Joe lifts his head to look at him. Expecting more praise from the tyke, the boy instead buries his head again in Hoss's neck.

"Awe, Little Joe. I said, I was sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." He crumpled his brother's hair, to which Joe jerked his elbow pushing him away and kept his face buried.

"He'll be alright." Hoss allayed. "Anyways, congratulations. I'm real proud of you, big brother."

"Thanks."

"This calls for a celebration." His Pa announced boisterously. "I think a party is in order. We'll invite the whole town. Hopsing, Hopsing get in here."

~.~

"There is nee-"

"Nei."

"Nei-ther happ-ee-ness nor mis-u-ry in this world; there is only the comp…com-par…compar…" The children chortled.

"Comparison."

"Comparison of one state with a-nother, nothing more." He wiped the sweat from his brow. "He who has felt the dee-pest greif is best able to ex-pe-ree-ance su-preme happ-ee-ness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may u-priss-i-ate the en-joy-ments of living.

"That's good Hoss thank you very much." He sauntered back to his seat among a whole slew of judgmental eyes.

"What do you think Dante meant by these words?" Ms. Harper asked as she stood. "Anybody?" The book was the Count of Monte Cristo. Perhaps a bit above the level of understanding to the children of miners and cowhands. At the class's silence, she turned to her trusted source at the back. "Adam perhaps you could give us some insight. What do you think he meant?" The young man stood reluctantly to speak.

"He's basically saying that you can't really appreciate what you've got unless you've experienced not having it. One can't truly know the value of their own fortune unless they've too experienced poverty. Likewise, if one has been brought so low in life, to the point where he begged for death, than when lifted out of that despair, only then could he truly appreciate what it is to live."

"Very good Adam." The praise could be respected more if he wasn't chosen to give the explanation right after his brother suffered such humiliation. He hated when she did that. It didn't make him feel good to be compared to him, to overshadow him.

"You're going to be missed around here Adam." The bigger kids played outside, while Adam hung out inside helping Ms. Harper keep an eye on the younger ones as they traced the alphabet on the handheld chalkboards on the desk before them. She was an older woman at least to Adam. He suspected she was somewhere in her early fifties. Too young of a face to support a full head of white hair which she always kept up off her neck. "You were truly a blessing to have around. The way you helped teach the younger ones. You really have a way with children."

"Little Joe might have other things to say about it."

"Oh, that's just brother stuff. I'm sure he'll miss you when you're gone."

"I'm not so sure."

"Well, I'll miss you. I don't know how I'm going to get along without you."

"Ms. Harper. You're an excellent teacher. I'm sure you'll get along just fine without me."

"How is Little Joe?"

"Being a little rascal as always. Treating me like I'm the scum of the earth. He hasn't said a word to me since last night."

"He's having a hard time with this."

"Yeah, I guess he is."

"Oh I'm sure of it. With his ma's death and all."

"Well she was all our Ma's."

"Oh, I thought."

"Never mind."

"Well that didn't happen all that long ago. What not even a year ago?"

"A little over."

"Has it been that long? My how time flies. Well, still not long enough for a little boy to finish grieving."

"Yes, it's hit him pretty hard. They were awfully close."

"Then his pa left."

"Yeah, he didn't take that too well, but they've been getting along well since he's been back. By looking at them now, you'd never be able to tell that they'd ever spent a day apart."

"and now you're leaving."

"Yes."

"You think he'll be ok?" She wanted Adam to feel guilty about going to college. Once he realized her sly tactic he refuted.

"He'll bounce back. He always does. He's a Cartwright. That's one thing about being a Cartwright. We always bounce back. Besides I'll be back before they know it. Then things will pick up right where they left off."

"You sure this is what you want to do?"

"It's been a dream of mine for as far back as I can remember. To go back to the place I was born. To see it. To engulf myself in it. To really live it. Besides when I come back I'll be better for my family. I'll be smarter. Smart enough to help my pa out in ways I never could before. Business ventures and shareholdings. I might even be able to build them a larger home. Give each one their own rooms."

"So you've settled on architecture?"

"As a minor. Engineering as a major. I think that would be the responsible choice."

"Oh, Adam. Always the responsible one. Doing what's best for the family."

"Well, they might have to pick up some of the slack while I'm gone."

"How so?"

"Somebodies got to take over my share of the workload. Pa will probably be depending on Hoss a lot more."

"He's a good kid. Strong back. I'm sure he could lift a house if he had to."

Hoss sat beneath the window sill, in what little shade the schoolhouse provided, staring out at the courtyard, listening with bitter resentment to his teacher lionize his older brother. He was always the favorite. To everyone, all the time. Hoss was just Adam's dumb younger brother.

"Who are you taking to the party?" The two girls talked from just around the corner. They were probably at the schoolhouse steps.

"I'm spending the whole night with Adam. I've got to give him something to remember me by."

"I think a lot of girls might have the same idea, Amanda. I mean he's only the most handsome boy in school."

"How about you?"

"Ah, I'm not going." Sally answered sullenly.

"You're not going? Why not?"

"Why not? There's no one to go with."

"Well how about Dave? Dave's already going with Leta.

"Well if I'm spending the night with Adam, maybe you could spend the night with Hoss."

"Ewe."

The chubby young boy knocked the back of his head against the wall. Not to mention ugly. He was Adam's dumb and ugly little brother. The girls didn't know he could hear them. Oh he didn't mean to listen in. It really wasn't his fault. He was here first. He tried not to let what the girls said affect him. I mean he already knew he was ugly. It wasn't like this was new information to him. He hated school.

"Hoss!" Dave and Malvet approached from the other side. Kyle Travis and Clay in tow.

Amanda and Sally peeked their heads around looking at first surprised to see Hoss was there, then Sally looked guilty while Amanda looked annoyed, like it was Hoss's fault he was there to overhear them. With her look accusing him of eaves dropping. "Hey Hoss. Dave here says he could take you in a fight." Both boys were older than Hoss and bigger. I offered him a dollar if he wins. What do you say? You think he can beat you?" Hoss looked at the other boy then lowered his head. "I tell you what. If you can beat him, I'll give you a sixpence."

"Ah what you offering him anything for anyways. His daddy's rich. Don't you know a sixpence don't mean nothing to him."

"What does it matter anyways? He ain't gonna win." Dave averred.

"He ain't even gonna fightcha. He's too much of a coward for that." Malvet enounced

"He'll fight. He'll fight if I make him fight." Dave exclaimed with confidence.

"I'll wager on that." Kyle said.

"Hoss." The call came from where the girls stood. Adam was pushing past them and approaching the group of boys. "Hoss. Miss Jones wants to see you inside." Adam put himself between the boys and his younger brother allowing his brother to get up and walk away. Adam stood there until his brother was a safe distance, eyeing the boys staring them down, daring them to make a move. They didn't.

~.~

"Du-ring the purrrr-"

"Perusal."

"Perusal of this letter, which informed Va-len…."

"Valentine." Adam closed the book down frustrated. Hoss has been standing before his older brother practicing his reading in the warmth of their scanty home. Many nights Hoss stood before Adam just like this, as Adam did his best to help Hoss in his schooling. Adam wanted to give his middle brother as best of a shot as he could before leaving him on his own. As their time together was coming to a close however tensions were mounting. "Hoss, its Valentine. Her name has been said through the entirety of the book. Have you not been paying attention?"

"I don't care about the stupid book."

"Well, you've got to care."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to be here for you much longer."

"Yeah, I know." He scoffed bitterly. "You've only reminded us of that every thirty seconds since you got the letter."

"So you know, I'm not going to be here to carry you through anymore."

"Oh don't worry your pretty little head."

"I do worry about you. You're my brother. It's my job to worry."

"Well, now you're leaving, so it's not going to be your job anymore."

"I'm not gone yet and I'm going to do all I can until then."

"I still don't see why."

"because, it's important."

"It's just a book."

"It's not just a book. It's everything. Look, I can understand if it was just one thing. We could focus on this one thing and help build you up; but it's not just one thing. It's everything. It's reading, its writing, its arithmetic; it's all of it. You struggle with all of it. It's like your mind isn't there. You're going to have to do this on your own. You've got to start taking education more seriously."

"I hate school."

"You should be so lucky. Not everyone has the opportunities that we have. You know, many boys don't even get to go to school."

"Maybe they're the lucky ones." His brother slammed the book on the end table at his side, in a controlled temper.

"What an ignorant thing to say." There was hurt in the budding teen's eyes. His own brother calling him ignorant. "Hoss, the ones that don't go to school are going to have a much harder time at life. They are going to struggle. Scrape to get by. They will always be dependent on someone else to support them. Living out a life of servitude. They might even turn to a life of crime to support themselves. Is that how you want to live? Hoss, having an education can take you anywhere you want to go. If you want to be anyone in life you've got to take your education seriously."

"What about Pa?" Adam shrugged.

"What about Pa?"

"Well he didn't finish school. He joined the Navy."

"First of all, he did finish school."

"Well, he didn't go to college."

"No he didn't and you could see even he struggles sometimes. Why do you think he asks me for help so often?"

"I hate school."

"I get it. I get that it may not be fun…"

"No, you don't get it Adam. School ain't the same for me as it is for you." Adam leaned back in his chair.

"Is this about the other kids?"

"Aw, just forget about it. You don't get it."

"You don't think I ever got picked on?"

"Oh, what did you ever get picked on for?"

"For being too smart. For always having my head in a book."

"Oh shut up!"

"I'm serious. People called me names too."

"It's better to be too smart than to be too stupid."

"You're not stupid. You just don't try hard enough."

"It's _hard_, Adam. I've got these kids calling me names all day long. You don't hear the kind of things they say. You're not always there." He went sullen. "I guess you're not going to be there ever again, are you?"

"Listen, you can't let those boys get to you. Kids are always going to be mean. They like to find things that are different about people and exploit them and they'll keep on doing it until you stand up for yourself."

"Why does everyone think that just because I'm big, I want to fight? Why can't they just leave me alone?"

"Look, I don't like fighting either, but sometimes you have to defend yourself."

"This isn't sometimes Adam. This is _all_ the time." He leaned forward again and opened his mouth to speak. As he did the handle turned to the bedroom and the door creaked open. Hoss turned his face before his Pa could see him. He was fighting tears. He wiped his face and took a breath and turned back as his father entered shutting the door behind him.

"Is Little Joe finally asleep?" Hoss asked.

"You were in there quite a while." Adam adduced.

"He's still awake." Adam raised his brow curious. "He's having a hard time falling asleep." His father looked like he was having a hard time too.

"With as much trouble as that scoundrel has been the last couple of days it's a wonder he has any energy left at all."

"He's having a difficult time with the idea of you leaving." Adam pursed his lips.

"You think I should go talk to him?"

"I can't make you Adam. All I can say is, right now, I don't think it's me he needs."

"A, yes, would have worked just fine." The room they shared was just off of the dining room. At that Adam pushed himself off the chair and went in.

"How are you doing Hoss?" His father asked when Adam left the room.

"Oh, I'm alright Pa."

"Did you finish up that book?"

"We finished it up in school today. Adam was just recapping some areas for me."

"I heard you two arguing out here. What was that about?

"Ah just brother stuff."

"It was awfully distracting, while I was trying to put your brother to sleep."

"I'm sorry Pa. You think that's why he's still awake?"

"It sure didn't help, but I don't think that was all of it. I think all things happen for a reason. Your little brother really needs to hear from Adam right now." He gave a half-hearted smile. "What about you? How are you getting along in all this?"

"I'll be alright."

"I do believe you should be washing up and getting ready for bed. It is way past the hour."

"Don't you think we should give my brothers a few more minutes? You know, to reconcile." Ben knew what his middle son was up to. He nodded.

"I suppose you're right. You know, I think there might be a few donuts left over in the kitchen. What do you say we go grab us a few." The boy's grin was from ear to ear.

"With milk?"

"Is there any other way?"

The soft glow of the lamp on the nightstand by his brother's petite form lit the way.

"Leave me alone." His brother didn't turn to look at him as he tiptoed in, but somehow knew it was he and not his towering father. Though these words stung with disdain. Adam knew the boy didn't mean them. He was just acting out his emotions which he seemed to wear on the cuff of his sleeve.

"Joe, talk to me." He knelt next to the bed. "It's me. What's bothering you?"

"I hate you."

"Surely you don't mean that, Little Joe. You know, you shouldn't say things you don't mean."

"I do, I do mean it. I hate you. I don't care if you never come back." There was emphasis on the word never.

"Joe. I know you're hurt, but you shouldn't talk like that."

"It's true. You don't care about us. Why should we care about you?"

"Little Joe. I care deeply for you. I care about all of you."

"No you don't. You're a liar." Little Joe look at me. He refused to turn over. Adam went to the other side of the bed and pulled his face up, so he had no choice but to look at him.

"I love you so much, I hurt when you hurt. Do you understand that? I'm hurting right now, because you're hurting."

"It doesn't look to me like you're hurting."

"I am."

"Then why aren't you crying like me?"

"It's just harder for me to cry, that's all. I don't cry like other people, but that doesn't mean I don't hurt like them. It may not look like it but your pain is tearing me up inside."

"I don't believe you."

"It's true."

"Well, if it were true than why are you leaving us? People who love each other don't leave."

"Do you believe that Pa loves you?" He continued at Joe's stubborn silence. "He left to make himself better, but he came back. That's what I'm doing. I'm leaving to make myself better, but I'll be back, just like he came back; and when I come back, I'll be better and stronger and smarter and wiser."

"What's wiser?" He interrupted.

"Well, it's like smarter."

"You'll be smarter and smarter? It doesn't make sense." He turned over, facing his back to him again. Adam took a deep breath to center himself.

"I'm doing this for the family."

"No you're not. That's just stupid."

"I know you don't understand."

"Why do people leave? Why do people always have to leave?" With the death of their mother the wound was still fresh in the boy's heart. Their Pa leaving soon after to 'find himself' left a mark on the family. Adam wasn't sure if his Pa really understood the impact his absence had. Adam found himself taking over the responsibility of running the ranch and even had to step into the role of father figure to his two younger siblings. A role he accepted with love and pride; but even he could admit to himself that it took a toll. At times he felt the burden was too much and often thought he was failing, miserably. As much as he claimed this was 'for the family', he felt like a hypocrite. Spewing the same line his father did to explain his absence. He too needed this time away, for himself. To find himself. To discover himself and revisit his roots. The place where he spent so much of his early childhood. Now, the memories so distant. Most have faded away. Only a few of his most cherished memories clung on. He had lived a lifetime since they've left their New England home. His mother had died giving birth to him. He never knew her except through the stories his father had told him. She seemed like a lovely woman. One that he'd wished he could have gotten to know, but if he had perhaps they'd never know Inger, or Marie. He'd never know Hoss or Little Joe. What he'd been forced to give up to balance out what he'd gained. He couldn't imagine a life without his two brothers and the women who took him in and treated him like he was their own. No matter how much he pushed them away. They loved him in spite of himself. They were lovely women too, in grace and compassion, but so was his mother. He needed for himself, to go back and to reclaim the memories he had lost and to learn about where it was that she had come from, where it was that he had come from.

"I know it's hard to understand at your age. I wish I knew how to explain it to you."

"If you loved us you'd stay here. That's what families do. They stick together." Those words cut deep, though they didn't change his heart.

"Joe. I'll be back. I promise and when I come back we'll do all the things we used to do. We'll fish and hike and I'll even teach you how to tame a horse."

~.~

The following day the young boys helped Hopsing in strewing the decorations. Seeing it all come together and being able to participate seemed to lighten Joe's mood, though he still kept his distance from Adam.

The night was a long one. People from all over town came by to see Adam off. Hearty handshakes and slaps on the back greeted him. Then the men went off to converse and drink with each other and talk up Ben's ear. The young bachelorettes crowded around Adam, each vying for his attention. Each one doing their best to outshine the others.

"So, am I to expect Little Joe next year?" Ms. Harper cornered Ben.

"I'm not sure yet. He's still has a lot of anxiety. With Marie's death being so fresh and now Adam's leaving. I might end up keeping him out another year until he can adjust."

As Hopsing turns the corner to enter the kitchen, he was shocked by the two figures within. He continues on with his work. "Why you two in here? Why you no out enjoying pawdy."

"Ah, who wants to hang out with a bunch of stuffy shirts anyways?"

"I see you enjoy Hopsing fwied chicken." Referencing the plate of chicken bones piled high in Hoss's hand.

"Golly, yessum. It was mighty good."

"You eat all dat?"

"No. Little Joe ate some too."

The tyke giggled. "I had one. Hoss almost bit might hand when I tried to get another."

"I gave you another one, you little rapscallion. You said you didn't want it." Little Joe giggled again.

"Numba 3 son, not like cooking?"

"No sir, it was delicious. I'm all filled up, is all."

"Numba 3 son, too skinny. Need moe meat on bones, like numba 2 son. Numbah 3 son, blow away in wind."

"I don't see how anyone can get a bite to eat with this big galoot eating everything in sight."

"Oh come here you little rascal." Hoss pulled his baby brother in and rubbed his knuckles into his hair."

"Ah! Get away from me, you big galoot." He screamed and wiggled out of his hold. Hoss jumped from the table wrapping his big arms around the boy and pinned him down. He dug his fingers into the tender flesh of his abdomen. The boy wriggled and giggled trying to get away.

"Almost time foe Numba 3 son to go to bed." Hoss stopped and laid down on his brother using his body for a pillow.

"How about we just sleep right here?" He made fake snoring noises. "Get off of me." Little Joe pushed and wiggled and giggled again.

"Hopsing no joke. Little boy bedtime." Hoss climbed off him and jumped back on the countertop.

"Ah. Not yet. Can't I hang out with Hoss a little while longer?"

"No. Boy no awg-ue. Boy get washed up."

"Ah, it's not fair that he gets to stay up."

"Numba two son olda. When Numba 3 son olda, numba 3 son stay up too."

"It's not fair." He watch his little brother saunter through the kitchen doorway with Hopsing's hand on his back. He thought about the happenings taking place outside. Any other kid his age would be ecstatic to join in, but then he wasn't any other kid. Hoss jumped back down.

"It's okay, Hopsing. I'll get him washed up." His cook stepped back confused as Hoss stepped between them.

"Numba 2 not go join pawdy?"

"Na, I'm feeling kind of tired myself. I think I'll join Little Joe." His Little brother burst with excitement.

"Boys no play. Get wight to bed."

"Yes sir, Mr. Hopsing. Right to bed."

The boy's laid in the dark stillness of the room they shared. The tumultuous sounds creeping through the walls. Adam's bed remained unoccupied. He was going to have to get use to that for a while. His bed was going to be unoccupied for years to come. He wondered if his brother would ever return. Oh he said he would, but Hoss had his doubts. When it came to his older brother he wasn't sure where his loyalties lay. There was a time he was so sure Adam would never leave them, especially when their father had. Since his father's return it seems all Adam wants to do is get away. He says he loves the family, but there was something out there calling to him. He wasn't sure what it was, but its hold on his elder brother was strong. He prayed it was not so strong that he wouldn't come back. One things for sure, he was going to miss him. As if reading his thoughts his little brothers voice cracked through the darkness.

"Do you think Adam is ever going to come back?" His voice was fragile and innocent and broken.

"He said he was, didn't he?"

"Some people don't, you know. Some people leave and they never come back. Look at Mr. Reagan's son." Mr. Reagan, their lead foreman, had a son Adams age. Adam and he had been friends for years. Carl Reagan had an adventurous spirit and longed for greener pastures. He'd left over a year ago in fact a bit before Marie's passing and hadn't returned. It wasn't college he was bound for. Just adventure. His son's absence left a hole in the heart of their aging foreman. One Little Joe could relate to.

"Oh Little Joe. I know you're sad. You still miss mom, don't you?" He sniffled in reply. His brother had been crying. He wondered for how long. He hadn't even noticed. He was so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't noticed the broken boy in the other bed. Hoss got out of his and crawled in next to Little Joe, pulling him into an embrace.

"You'll never leave me, will ya?" He looked down at the curly haired boy.

"I'm sorry to say this Little Brother, you're stuck with me. We're going to be old men sitting in rockers together. He expected to hear his brothers giggle, but instead the little boy pulled at his night shirt and shoved his curls against his chest. They lay in the dark in embrace. A few minutes more, his brothers breathing changed and his grip relaxed, indicating he was fast asleep. Hoss continued to hold him and let his mind wander again until he too gave into the heavy pull of unconsciousness.

~.~

The boys spent the day at Rock Lake. Hoss's favorite fishing spot. Adam wanted one last hoorah with his brothers before he'd be leaving the next day. He didn't want to leave things with Joe on such bad terms. He also felt like he needed some time away with Hoss. Outside of the ears of their pa.

Joe was lost in his wanderings. Waste deep in the cool waters of the lake looking down at the fish that swam between his legs. The boy had the notion that he would outsmart Hoss. That he'd pull more fish out of the water by catching them with his bare hands, though he has yet to perfect his technique. Hoss had his line in the water humored by Joe's futile attempts. Adam sat next to Hoss, watching their brother play. Now was as good a time as he was ever going to get to have that talk with Hoss that he'd been meaning on having.

"Hoss, since I'm going to be gone a while, Pa is going to lean on you a lot more. That means your work load is going to get heavier."

"Oh, I don't mind about that."

"He's also going to need you to take care of Little Joe once in a while."

"That's no problem. Little Joe and me are best friends."

"Little Joe and I, and yes, I know you two are very close. Hoss, sometimes it won't be enough to be his best friend. Pa is going to need some help, like I said. That means that sometimes you're going to have to get tough on him too. I know you're not used to that."

"Awe shucks Adam."

"I'm serious Hoss. That little boy is wayward. He's liable to take off the ground if you let him. He needs constant supervision. You know as well as I do that, that kid and trouble are close companions and that's a friend he doesn't need to have." He smirked knowing exactly what his older brother was talking about. "I need you to promise me one more thing."

"Sure, Adam. What is it?"

"Get out some. Take care of yourself." The teen frowned

"What are you talking about?"

"It's sweet that you say Little Joe's your best friend, but you need to get out more. Make some real friends. You need to be hanging out with kids your own age. Friends at school. You can't get so caught up with life here that you forget that there's a life out there."

"I don't need to, Adam. I've got everything I need right here."

"Hoss, it's not healthy. You need to get out more. There's life beyond the trees and hills. Life beyond this little fishing hole. You're going to miss out on it. You can't turn your back on it."

"There's nothing wrong with this life. Just because you want to leave it, doesn't mean I do." Adam pursed his lips. His bull headed brother wasn't hearing a word he was saying. He let it be. It was a long shot anyways.

~.~

Adam slipped out of the room closing the door carefully behind him. He was headed for the kitchen for a glass of milk that would hopefully help him sleep, when he saw his Pa at the desk, working by the glow of the lantern.

"What's the matter, Pa? Can't sleep?" Ben closed the book on his desk.

"I was just thinking."

"What about?" Adam changed direction and headed to his Pa.

"You. This college thing. Your brothers. You know with you gone it's going to be a lot different around here."

"Pa, I'm only going to be gone a few years. I'll come back."

"I know, I know. It's just that sometimes I think that you are the back bone of this house. Not me. Your brothers have come to rely on you. Sometimes I'm afraid, they need you more than me."

"Pa, you know that's not true. They need you like they need their own breath." He ignored this approbation.

"I've come to rely on you too. Perhaps more than a father should of his son. Now with you gone. I just don't know where that puts the rest of us."

"You know Hoss is a good kid. He's willing to step up and fill my shoes."

"Did he tell you that?"

"He as much as told me so. He just needs you to challenge him. You know I had a lot more responsibility at his age. I think he could do the work you set him to. He's more than capable. I mean he struggles a bit with the financial part of it, but he could do the rest."

"It's the finances I'm most worried about."

"You worried about money?"

"I shouldn't have said that. That's not fair to you."

"Pa, you don't have to hide with me. We've always been honest with each other. What is it?"

"It's college. I'm real proud you got accepted, but I worry sometimes if I'm going to be able to handle the financial responsibility."

"You're worried you can't pay for it?"

"It's not fair, I know."

"I'll get a job while I'm out there."

"That's too much work. You need to focus on your studies."

"It'd be no different than now."

"It'd be a lot different."

"I can handle it."

"No. I'll find a way."

"Pa. You need the money here, to care for Hoss and Little Joe and to run the ranch.

"I've worked too hard for too many years to be able to provide for my boys. I'm not backing down now. Not when it really matters. You are going to college. We will find a way. We'll have to make a few cuts around here, but we can do this."

"Pa…"

"You are going to school and you're not getting a job either."

"Thanks Pa."

"What brought you out here?"

"I don't know. Maybe, I was thinking about my brothers too."

"They'll be fine. They'll get along."

"I hope so Pa. I hope I'm doing the right thing."

"Little Joe's resilient. He's been through a lot and he always seems to come out on top."

"Yeah, that little kids a fighter."

"What else is bothering you?"

"I know what Little Joe's struggles are."

"Knowing is half the battle." Adam chortled then turned serious again.

"Pa, I think there might be something going on with Hoss too."

"What are you thinking?" He struggled with telling his father, wondering if Hoss would feel betrayed if he did.

"I'm not sure Pa." He said instead.

"What makes you think there's anything wrong with him at all?"

"I don't know." He just wanted his pa to discover the problem on his own. If his pa could just keep an eye out for him, he might see. "It just doesn't seem like he's acting himself."

"I'm sure he's going to miss having you around just as much as the rest of us." He deflated and lowered his head. They've got a whole summer to rest. Maybe the problem would reveal itself before Hoss would be set back to school.

"Yeah, I guess that's what it is."

~.~

The departure was bittersweet. Adam stood at the stage, luggage on top, dressed in his Sunday finest. "You be good for Pa." Little Joe squeezed him tight.

"You said you'd come back. Remember?"

"I will Joe. I will."

"You promised."

"I did promise and that is not a promise I intend on breaking."

He looked up. "You won't forget us?"

"How could I ever forget a little rapscallion like you?" He ruffled his curls.

"Bye big brother."

"Bye Hoss. Be good for Pa."

"Ah, you don't have to worry about me."

His father gave a hearty hug. Adam boarded the stage. The men watched as Adam rode away leaving a trail of dust in his wake.


	2. Chapter 2 The Ranch

**Chapter**

The Ranch

"Hold him down Casey. I said hold him."

"This one's a fighter." The calf kicked out and wriggled himself up on his hind legs.

"Dab Burnit Casey. I said hold him."

"I'm tryin'. He keeps kickin at me."

"That's cuz you ain't holdin' him right."

"Maybe we shouldn't sell this one." Hoss suggested standing over the group. "You think? He might make a good breeder."

"Being strong is good. Being feisty like he is, well let's just say we don't want to encourage those genes to spread. Maybe someday when this stock is yours the whole herd might rise up against ya." Hoss chortled.

"If I treat em right I could get them to be on my side. Think of this, I'll have my own bovine Army." This time it was Reagan who laughed aloud.

"Get back to work, general. Bring me another one Casey and this time hold onto him, dadburnit. Maybe you oughtta help him out Hoss. You could show 'em how it's done." Hoss smiled brightly at the approbation.

The summer was a nice one. Pa depended on Hoss a lot more just like Adam said he would. His work load tripled in proportion. He didn't mind it at all. Somehow he felt more grown up because of it. _This is what Adam must feel like all the time._ With Adam being gone he was entrusted with a lot more. Pa was sending him out with the hands on his own. He got to work right alongside them. In preparation for the cattle drive they had to first round up the different herds from high country and collect them in lower pasture. This took nearly three whole days. He and the men had to wrangle each one that had yet to be branded and hold them down while they committed the branding process, which took another five. He had a hand in each step of the process.

The highlight of the summer was when he got to help bring a calf into the world. It was breeched and Will Reagan tied a rope around the front legs of the fetus. They had him pull the rope all by hisself. They kept telling him to pull even when he was too tired. He kept pulling until the cow was completely out. It was sticky and slimy and stunk like nobody's business. But when that baby cow cried for the first time he felt a pride like he'd never felt before. The men patted his back and tousled his hair. Good job's, were plenty in store. He didn't even have to go home and brag about it. The men did that for him. His Pa was on the front porch with Little Joe running about the yard when they rode in. Little Joe joined his Pa as the men told the story like he was a hero just returned from war. Little Joe soaked it all in. He would have hugged him for it too had he not needed a bath. When the story had been told, Pa told him to go wash up. He even offered to clean and stable his horse for him. Oh yes, his Pa was mighty proud of him that day.

Hoss was really hoping that if he could prove himself out on the range that his pa would let him go on the drive. This would be his first one ever and boy he was itching to go. He thought for sure this year would be the year. As bad as he wanted to go, his Pa told him he wasn't quite old enough.

"Besides," His pa told him. "Maybe you could use a break from Will Reagan." Hopsing came out to collect the dishes from the table and stopped at Hoss's cant.

"A break from Will Reagan? Dab burnit Pa, what in tarnation would I need a break from Will Reagan for?" Ben had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. His son couldn't see it. "I juss bout learned everything there is to know on this ranch."

"Have you?" Hopsing glanced at Ben who doing his best to hold in his own laughter. Hopsing was fighting it back himself.

"Sure have Pa."

"Will's a good teacher then?"

"Oh gosh pa, absolutely." Hoss couldn't see what was so funny between them.

"You're too young and that's final."

"Awe shucks Pa." He raised his brows to meet his son.

"I can't say I'm too keen on this talking back neither." Hoss sauntered to his room. Ben finally let out the chuckle he'd been holding in and Hopsing joined in. Will Reagan was a good man. There was something to be said for his colorful language though. It seemed more than his work ethic was rubbing off on his boy.

After a few more days, the cowhands set out and Hoss was left behind. His work load didn't decrease however. Every day he had a whole list of chores that needed to be completed by days end. Most days he would do it too. Sometimes however his workload would spill over into the next day. He was doing a lot by himself. Whereas the earlier portion of the summer was dedicated to rustling cattle and helping the hands prepare for the drive, now his days consisted of mending fences and tending to the ranch animals. He was chewing up logs with a long saw and bailing hay. Oh there was lots of that to bale. From the feed store, to the wagons. From the wagons to the barn. From the barns to the horses and even the order would be reversed to get hay to the horses on the range or to neighboring ranches and then the process would repeat itself. It was hot and tiring and sweaty and itchy work, but he loved it. He loved every minute of it. He felt like this was what it must be like to truly be a man.

Little Joe seemed like he was coming along pretty good too. There was plenty of work for him to do as well, though most of his work was around the house. He helped Hopsing with the gardening and tending to the chickens. Sweeping and washing the walls and windows and table after every meal. Helping Hopsing with the dishes and prepping for the meals. He was kept plenty busy in the day and when there wasn't work to be done, there was fishing. Fishing was something Hoss knew all about. One area where he could really impart his wisdom. Only problem was it was difficult to keep Little Joe still long enough. He got impatient with the idleness of it. Then he got frustrated that he wasn't pulling in the fish Hoss was.

"You've got to keep it still." He'd tell him time and again. Which would eventually end up with an "I'm bored. Can't we just swim instead?" Hoss loved that too. He loved how much his Little brother needed him, cause truth be told he needed Little Joe just as much. Maybe even a little bit more.

~.~

Tom McClure, the town banker; Will Cass who owned the largest Merchant shop in Virginia City and John Marlowe a lawyer that specializes in property deeds; met Ben at the door.

"Come in, come in. What brings you out this way?"

"Mr. Cartwright. I have a proposition for you." McClure started. "As you might have heard some land is going up for sale that borders yours."

"Actually I haven't heard."

"Oh." His surprise was genuine. "Mr. Cartwright. A lot of people are looking at that land but we think you, Mister Cartwright, would make for the rightful owner."

"Why me?"

"Mr. Cartwright this land is prime stock land and has some of the largest trees in the country."

"How much land are we talking about?"

"500 acres. That more than doubles what you have now."

"Where is this land?"

"Well like I said it borders your own. It stretches out to the shoreline of Lake Tahoe."

"I can't afford that much land. You know right now, I'm trying to put a boy through college."

"Mr. Cartwright, I believe you can."

"Well, how much is it worth?"

"Only about a half mil."

"A half mil? I can't afford that."

"I believe you could do it."

"What makes you say that?"

"That's actually what we came to talk to you about. You see with your earnings this quarter and what you've got in the bank."

"I'd still come up a hundred grand short."

"Which I'm prepared to front."

"You?"

"You see it's like this. May we sit?"

"Yeah, sure, sure."

~.~

"Look at that." Little Joe pointed to something in the road as they made their way home after a day of fishing. It was a small little thing. Curious how Joe saw it. He was small too maybe that was why he saw it instead of Hoss. Of course Joe was riding at Hoss's front. That probably had something to do with it too. Hoss stopped in front of the little bird doing circles with its right wing dragging along the ground beside him. Its bright redness was dulled first by the shadows of the late day and second by the dirt that caked it. "It's hurt." Little Joe said sullen. Hoss jumped down off his horse.

"It sure is Joe." He said pulling Little Joe down, knowing he wouldn't want to be stuck In the saddle too long by himself.

Hoss looked up at the tall tree they were under. High above them a mother bird peeked over her nest, chirping away with more children under her wing.

"Should we put him back?"

"No, I don't reckon we should."

"I can climb up there."

"I got no doubts about that little feller, but somebody told me once that once a bird has fallen the momma bird has less of a chance of accepting it back."

"Well that's just silly. Why would she turn him away?"

"Maybe she doesn't have much of a choice."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's like this. They don't have medicine like we do. She's got no way of fixin him up. So if he somehow does make it back to her he'll never be a real bird again. She'll stop feeding it cause she knows he's going to die anyways and she doesn't want to waste the food that would make her other ones strong on the one that won't make it."

"What do you think we oughtta do?"

"I think I can make it strong again. I can take it home and fix 'em up real good like. Good as knew."

"You don't think Pa's going to be mad at you?"

"Na, Pa'll be alright with it."

"I don't know. You remember how mad he got when you tried to bring home that rabbit." Joe laughed.

"That was different Joe. That rabbit was eating Hopsing's garden. Plus it bit me and scratched me all up. Pa'll be alright with this one. You wait and see." Joe shrugged. He watched as Hoss wrapped the little thing in his hanky and tucked him away in his pocket for the rest of the ride. Truthfully Joe was a bit excited to have a bird around the house for a while. He wasn't as in to animals as Hoss was but what boy wasn't at least a little bit fascinated by the world around them and the wild creatures it was home to. Especially the cute an adorable ones which was the category this little one fell into.

~.~

Their Pa wasn't so much angry as he was with the rabbit. He was more amused. He did question Hoss on his logic asking him where he'd heard about a momma bird turning away their little ones.

"I don't know. Maybe Reagan told me."

"Reagan?"

"May have been someone else." He didn't say Hoss was wrong. He'd just never heard that himself. "Would you have rather I have little Joe climb the tree to put him back? It was an awfully tall tree."

"No, no. I guess not."

"So can I keep him?"

"It's just that we don't know anything about birds."

"I know birds." Hopsing offered. "I don't know lot. But I know nuff that help." _Ooh his friend betrayed him. _He knew it too with that sly smile. Wide and innocent but with orneriness behind his eyes.

"Fine. Hopsing will help."

The two splinted the arm as Joe looked on. Afterwards they let Joe hold him. Hopsing taught Hoss what they eat and how often he should be fed. What time of day. How to catch its prey. In three weeks the bird was strong enough to take back to his home. Unwrapping the hanky, which was the way they transported him back, the bird on a strong wing flew high up into the tree to reunite with its loved ones. "I sure am going to miss having the little thing around." Joe remarked.

"Yeah, but I bet his ma missed him a whole lot more." Little Joe could understand that. "Come on, let's get going." It wasn't back home they were headed, just yet. It was their pa that suggested that since they were headed that way anyways, that Hoss should bring his pole.

It was only a day or two later when somebody else came home. Their presence replacing the company of the lost bird.

The men. The men had returned. Coming into the yard and slapping the trail dust off of them. The round trip took them all of three weeks. It was a quick stop for most of them as they were anxious to get into town and spend their earnings. Wash away the trail dust with a hot bath and a cold beer. The only reason they stopped by the house at all was to give Reagan a chance to hand over the bank note. Ben and the boys met Reagan in the doorway.

"There you go Mr. Cartwright. 479 head. We offloaded at 3.50 a head." Ben was shocked at the news.

"That is great news. You don't know how great this is." Ben was excited at what they came home with. His face beamed with approval. You have no idea."

"Wow. What happened to you Hoss?" Charlie asked as he went out to greet the men.

"What do you mean?"

"You've gotten bigger."

"He means taller." Leslie corrected at Hoss's grimace.

"I mean bigger too but not in a bad way. You've thinned down that's for sure, but you also bulked out. You see what I mean Chuck?" He asked the young hand as he approached.

"Yeah, I see it." Chuck answered.

"Looks like you're finally losing some of that baby fat." Charlie said.

Chuck agreed. "You've got some muscle growing under that exterior."

"Woowee." The screech came from the door. Ben opened his arms wide and lifted the aging foreman straight off his feet. Hoss and the men exchanged confused looks then burst out in laughter.

_Dear Adam,_

_I have fantastic news. A couple of things to tell but one leads into the other. Our yield was enormous this winter. We came out with nearly five hundred head of cattle which went to market at 3.50 a head. I also won, not one, but two major lumber contracts. With what we came out with and what we have in the bank I now have the ability to try for new land that just opened up and will be available at auction. It's the greatest piece of land this side of the Sierra's and I have a good chance of winning it. 400 acres that border the southeast portion of Lake Tahoe. If we win, that would extend our property line right up against the shoreline. We'd own nearly a thousand acres and I must say are chances are looking really great. we have been very blessed._

_Hoss and Joseph are doing well. Hoss has really stepped up, just like you said he would. He has been a lot of help. Carl Reagan has taken him under his wing and taught him a lot about the ranch. When they left on the drive Hoss has continued to learn about the different portions. He's committed himself to back breaking work and feels happier for it. Hoss has helped Joe come along too. They continue to be the best of friends and just having his older brother by his side has helped._

_I hope all is well with you Adam. Please write when you have the chance. I would love to hear how you're doing in all your wonderful adventures._

_Signed_

_Your Pa._

~.~

The men said he was bulking out quite nicely. Muscle was forming under his fat exterior. At first he hadn't noticed even though the men kept insisting. As he stared at himself in the looking glass now he could kind of see it himself. Boy the kids at school were going to be surprised to see him. He could picture the look on their faces as he walked through the schoolyard and into the classroom. What was Sally going to think? He stood before the looking glass on the morning of his first day back to school. His fat had turned into the muscle of a man. Maybe someday somebody might even call him the handsome one. Little Joe giggled as he walked in on Hoss bulging his muscles before the mirror. He wasn't even embarrassed by it. He just went right on doing it. What was there to be embarrassed for?

"What are you doing?" The tyke finally asked.

"Turning into a man, Little Joe. Why? You jealous?" The boy walked next to him and threw up his arms to flex his muscles too.

"Look at me, I've got muscles."

"That ain't muscle, Little Joe. Sorry to say that's all bone." He squeezed his bicep for emphases. He caught his scowl. He just about missed the look that followed as he went back to admiring himself. A mischievous mien came across the scamps face. He caught the tail end of orneriness. Unfortunately, it caught his attention a second too late. Little Joe grabbed for his pile of freshly cleaned linen off the vanity and bee-lined for the door, squealing with laughter the whole way.

"Come here!" Hoss caterwauled. He went to chase him but couldn't reach the door before Little Joe was out of it.

"You get back here, you little scamp." He shouted into the main room. He looked back into his empty room considering his options. He was going to have to go for it. He tromped after him wearing nothing but a bath towel.

"Hoss." His father bellowed. The boy stopped in his tracks. "Just when do we start coming to the breakfast table in our bath towels?" His Pa mocked scolded. As he already knew what his youngest was up to. Little Joe squealed behind the protection of his father.

"Pa. He's got my clothes." Hoss wailed. Hopsing came out placing a plate of the sweetest smelling sausages on the table. His stomach grumbled for them and his mouth watered. The cooked stopped and stared at the near naked boy in the living room.

"Boy have no clothes." He said alarmed.

"You've noticed." Ben countered

"Boy, cannot eat at table with no clothes."

"Hopsing, perhaps you might be able to enlighten. Is there a reason why the boy has no clothes? Is there none in his drawer?"

"Boys dressuh full. Wash all clothes yestaday."

He turned back to Hoss. "Would you care to explain to me why you're standing in the living room in your bath towel?"

"Those are my school clothes, Pa. I had those picked out last night and everything." Ben tried to remain stern, but a smile slipped across his lips. Ben and Hopsing broke out together at Hoss's expense.

"Yeah, yeah. Can I have my clothes back?"

"Little Joe, give Hoss back his clothes." He held at bay his own smile as he comes from around the protection of his father and hands the pile of laundry back to his brother. Hoss fake lunges for him. Little Joe steps back then lunges back but stops at the gasp from his father.

"Little Joe." He shrunk down. "I do believe you're missing a shirt too." He said in mock surprise. The boy giggled again. "Go get yourself dressed. Both of you. I want you both back here in five minutes." Joe pushed him away and ran to the room ahead of him slamming the door before he could get to it. _Oh he was going to get that kid._


	3. Chapter 3 Summers End

**Chapter**

Summer's End

Hoss's mind was lost in his thoughts as he rode into town. He thought of school and how different things were going to be this year. He was going to be the talk of the town. This time in a good way. He had muscles and was going to be a man. The boys. Oh how shocked were they going to be. He must have grown two inches in just a few months. He was stronger and more handsome. No way were they going to make fun of him now.

"Oh look who it is." The voice broke his thoughts. Kyle and Travis rode up from behind him. "It's fatty." And just like that things were back to the way he'd always known them. Nothing had changed. He thought of the wise words his father has said. _Pride comes before a fall. _What did he have to be proud of? He thought of the Lord and all his mighty works. _You couldn't have given me one day._

The entire day had passed as if nothing had changed. Well that wasn't entirely true. One thing had changed which Kyle was quick to point out. "Look who came back, and with no big brother here to protect you." Oh he never felt so alone. Why couldn't summer time last forever?

~.~

Joe ran to greet his older brother with open arms as he came through the door.

"Hey Little Joe." Joe's smile was wide while Hoss's was soft but growing wider with Joe's enthusiasm. He lifted Joe and the small boy wrapped his arms around him like a chimpanzee.

"Hey Hoss, how was your first day back?" His father asked.

"Oh, it was great Pa."

"You want to play a game?"

"Sure thing, Little Joe. Just let me set my stuff down." He set Little Joe back down and went off to his room. He set his school satchel on top his bed. Then caught a glance of himself in the looking glass. Afraid of what he might see he turned away. Little Joe was expecting him, he was not one to disappoint.

~.~

His second day was much like the first. Whispered insults. "Fatty." "Ugly." "Stupid." The class was set up by age. In a class of 20 students, the younger students taking the front rows and working their way by age to the older students in the back. Hoss moved back a row since last year, sitting in the second to the last row on the far left. Travis sat next to him as he was only a month or two older than him. Behind him Kyle who was 14 a little over a year older than Hoss. Sally 14 and 15 year old Amanda shared the back row, privy to listen in on the whispered insults. A couple of the boys from last year weren't there this year. Malvet and Dave were gone. Aged out. He could hardly wait until he was old enough to age out. Adam was 17 when he aged out, though for the last few years most of his studies were independent as there wasn't much more their teacher could teach him. His time at school would mostly be spent helping the other kids with their studies. Most boys age out years before him. Malvet and Dave at 15. Other boys leave at 13. He wished he could have aged out at 13. They were the lucky ones, but knowing his pa he'd likely make him stay a few more years. Maybe even as long as Adam. Malvet and Dave were really mean to him last year and he was grateful to at least have them gone. Though Kyle and Travis, both smaller than Hoss in height and weight, were their understudies and seemed all too eager to pick up the reigns in the absence of their mentors.

The weight of the day slumped his shoulders. His ride home was slow but steady. Kyle shares the same road he takes to get home. Kyle's lives with his father who he's only seen a few times as he had a reputation for being a bit of a shut-in. They both lived down Steep Pine road on Rocky Acres Ranch just a few miles outside of town. He overheard Travis invite Kyle to his house as he pulled his horse from the stables. Travis a brunette lived in town. His parents owned the Feed & Mercantile shop in town. Expecting Kyle and Travis not to be taking this road now, Hoss still didn't truly feel like he could breathe again until he passed Steep Pine.

~.~

He drew in a long breath as he entered his own yard to straighten himself. Before he had a chance to stable his horse Little Joe runs out of the house to greet him shouting his name all the while before jumping into his arms. It cracked him up how he did that. Every day Joe would greet him as if he'd spent years away. The exuberance in his greeting would bring an instant smile to his face. No matter how difficult the day was for him. Spending hot tiring hours working the ranch or away at school it was always the same. That same energy as Hoss would walk in through the door. Sometimes, like today, though his horse wouldn't make a sound, Joe knew he was out here and wouldn't wait for Hoss to come in. In never ceased to bring a smile to his face and just like that the day's hardship would melt away.

"Hey there little scamp. How was your day?"

"Hopsing made cinnamon rolls."

"Well that sounds mighty good."

"Dinner comes first his father announce from the open doorway."

"That's fine by me Pa. I've got an appetite to feed a small army."

"It's still going to be a bit before suppers ready. Come inside and get washed up." His father turned from the doorway.

"They let me have a roll already." Little Joe snickered from his arms. "Said if I didn't eat mine now I might not get to when you got home."

"That was a smart move. As soon as I figure out where Hopsing's got them hidden there might not be any left for dessert." He ruffled Joe's hair and began to walk into the house with him.

"Don't forget to stable your horse." The bellow came from inside stopping Hoss in his tracks. He set Joe down and swatted his butt for good measure sending Joe back in the house before turning around to tend to his mound. "Gracie, I nearly forgot about you. Little Joe had me all confused. All this talk about cinnamon rolls. I nearly forgot myself."

~.~

Ms. Harper stood at the front of the class. She was working on basic arithmetic with the younger students. The older ones were supposed to be reading to themselves. Hoss was mostly staring at the pages. He gave it an honest effort though. He read paragraph upon paragraph but then realized he didn't absorb what it was he just read. Frustrated he would go back and read again and the result would be the same. Somewhere along the way he gave up and found himself just staring at the pages. A pain shot through his back and he jerked up. Kyle and Travis snickered at his response. Hoss felt himself getting red from embarrassment or shame. Ms. Harper glanced up from her spot aside Frankie Bartlett, A six year old fair haired boy at the front. The boys held their snickers behind their books and Hoss stared back down at his own to avert the attention off of him.

"Hoss. We got a letter from your brother." His father announced as he came through the door. His smile picked up instantly.

"What's it say Pa?" The boys sat by the fire as their father read aloud.

_Dear Pa,_

_I've gotten settled in. I've found my dorm room and have met my new roommate. His name is Chauncy Wright. Born and raised in Massachusetts. He's studying philosophy and mathematics. We're getting along well so far, though already we've gotten into some long debates. __He's an interesting fellow. A bit intense at times. He says I challenge him, and that I am a "cheeky fellow" and "worthy adversary." _

_Believe it or not, he is not the most interesting fellow I've met here. There's another kid. He doesn't attend the University. He is still too young for that. He's the second son of the great actor Junius Brutus Booth. His name is Edwin. He comes from a Maryland upbringing but has been in Boston for a few years now. He a good kid. _

_I've done some research and I found the house ma grew up in. I haven't been there yet. I expect to though within the week. I only have that much time left before I expect to be knee deep in my studies, as classes start next week. Although by the time this letter reaches you they likely would have started already._

_I'm happy to hear all is well with Hoss and Little Joe. I miss them dearly. I've been holding onto the way I left them and have been unable to shake the feeling that maybe I could have done more for them. It helps to know they are doing well. Perhaps I won't worry for them as much and I could focus on what I need to do here. I will always worry for them though, but maybe not as much. Give them both humongous hugs for me and give them both my regards._

_Your loving son,_

_Adam_

Their pa set down the letter. Hoss sat in blissful reverence.

"Well you heard him." Their pa broke the silence. They looked back confused. His pa opened his arms wide and said "get over here." Joe giggled and got up to run off which was exactly the response Ben was expecting. Walking like a grizzly, he stomped after Joe who giggled with delight, chasing him around the dining room table. Hoss laughed rapturously as he watched them play. When his pa finally caught the boy it was every bit of what Joe had expected. His pa hugged him so tight it left him just enough air to keep laughing.

The letter couldn't have come a day too soon. It felt good to finally hear from their brother. That night both boys slept a little bit better as they thought of their oldest brother and the adventures he was living.

~.~

They'd gotten away with pinching Hoss the day prior so Kyle tested his boundaries to see how many more he could get away with today. The day's number ended in three. Three times he was pinched in the back while he sat at his desk. Each time his face would fire up as he did his best to squelch the pain and mask his emotions.

The days that followed the numbers of pinches gradually increased, and as if that wasn't enough Kyle would take to twisting the skin at every pinch which was that much more painful. It was a game to them. They planned their attack. Each time Hoss would begin to relax and unguard himself and their teacher would look away another pinch came. Their goal was to inflict the greatest amount of pain in the shortest amount of time and retreating again just as stealthily. By the time Ms. Harper would look up at whatever grabbed her attention all she would see is Hoss at his desk clenching his eyes and fist.

A week and a half went by like this. As he sat outside against the sycamore which used to be Adams favorite spot to read, Kyle had snuck up behind him and grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked. Then took off running towards the group of boys that waited for him by the schoolhouse. Again Hoss's face burned.

It wasn't until two weeks later when the first blow came. As he walked down the school house steps into the grounds for mandatory recess which would give Ms. Harper a chance to work more closely with the younger ones, Kyle waited for him to walk just far enough away from the door and struck him in his left shoulder blade.

They tested their boundaries to see how much they could get away with. His days were filled with torment and ridicule. It came in waves day by day gradually swelling and then seceding. Periodic moments of peace followed by more abuse, seemingly worse than before.

Even the younger boys would join in. Namely, the three that sat a row up from him. Clay, Seth and Eden. There were spitballs and hair pulling and body chucks and shin kicks and skin twisting that would leave tiny welts on the fleshy portion of his torso; and the name calling. Oh there was plenty of name calling. Everyday more inventive. Words he didn't even know the meaning of, which only made him feel stupider than he already was. Not a day went by without them doing something to him." God he hated school.

~.~

Everyday just like the first, he'd go home and Little Joe would be there with open arms to greet him as if he'd just spent years away. He'd have to work a little harder each day at picking up his smile before greeting the tyke. He found himself picking Joe up less and less. After the first time Joe ran into his arms and he jerked at the shot of pain as Joe met bruises he became more guarded. He played it off saying, "Oh little Joe, you're getting to big for me to pick up." Of course that wasn't true. Joe was all bones and comparably small for his age, whereas Hoss was well, Hoss. He controlled just how the hug would go every evening and braced himself for the pain that would come anyways. The evenings would be swell. Full of love and laughter. Giggles. Lots of giggles. Then the night would come. The hours upon hours where he'd lie in the dark dreading the day to come.

~.~

"By the dim and yellow light of the moon," Standing before the other students at the front of the class, Kyle read with animation getting into the mindset of the character and playing it up as he did. Amanda and Sally snickered from the back as with some of the little ones. "As it forced its way through the window shutters, I beheld the wretch. The miserable monster whom I had created. He held up the curtain of the bed; and his eyes, if eyes they may be called, were fixed on me. His jaws opened, and he muttered some inarticulate sounds, while a grin wrinkled his cheeks. He might have spoken, but I did not hear; one hand was stretched out, seemingly to detain me, but I escaped and rushed downstairs. I took refuge in the courtyard belonging to the house which I inhabited, where I remained during the rest of the night."

"Okay. That's far enough Kyle." Ms. Harper stopped him. "Sally, why don't you pick it up from there?"

"Hey Hoss. Want to play?" Kyle called to him as he sat in the shade of the Sycamore. He knew this was to be the beginning of a taunt. They couldn't really want to play with him. Kyle of all kids would be the last one to ask. "Come on. We need another person." The boys stood far off seemingly waiting for something to happen. Should he bite?

"What are you playing?" He tested the waters.

"Frankenstein. I'm Dr. Frankenstein and you're the beast." He cupped him in the head and ran off back to his friends. Turning around screaming. "Die monster, Die!" The kids laughed and taunted, joining in. "Die monster, Die!" Hoss felt himself getting flushed, bombarded in a tide of spurn.

~.~

"Dad, can I talk to you?"

"Sure son. What is it?"

"What do you think about me quittin' school?"

"What do you mean?'

"Well, it's just that I'm getting big now and I think I would be a lot more useful around the house is all. I really learned a lot over the summer and I think I got a pretty good idea of how the ranch works."

"That's true. You've really stepped up and proved yourself."

"With Adam being gone we're a man down and I think I'm needed here a lot more than at school. Will Reagan said I was a blessing to have around. I thought maybe I could just keep on helping him." Reagan was a good man who took Hoss under his wing. Ben thought there was more to Reagan's beneficence than that. That, perhaps Reagan was trying to fill the hole his son had created when he left. Reagan used Hoss to replace the son he'd lost. He was happy for the way Will accepted Hoss like he was his own and understood the pains of the aging foreman. He held no ill will towards him at all. This wasn't why Ben had to say no.

"Son. You've done very well. I'm very proud of how much you've stepped up. You've exceeded all of our expectations, but I really think you should continue on with your education. Someday I'm going to get too old. There will come a time when whether I like it or not, I'd have to hand over the reins. I'd like to give each of you boys a piece of this land and I want to feel right in believing that you could take on the responsibility of it."

"But Pa you said it yourself, I've exceeded your expectations."

"In the labor aspect sure. But there's more to it than that."

"Like what?"

"Accounting. There's labor cost. Supply and demand. Business deals. I'm sorry to say son you need work in these areas too."

~.~

"Hey fatty. Fat boy! You hear me talking to you. Answer me. You're nothing but a big, fat, tub of lard."

"Why don't you lose some weight?" Sally asked. "Do you like being fat?" Sally wasn't trying to be mean. Sally overheard Kyle's harsh words and had just about enough of them. She didn't admonish Kyle though. He supposed he should have been grateful about that. The last thing he would need is a girl fighting his battles for him. Instead Sally thought she was helping by confronting Hoss. He felt ugly enough as it was without the cute girl putting him down.

~.~

He stared at himself in the looking glass. Something he hadn't done in a long time. He hasn't had much more than a passing glance at himself since he's started school. Unwilling to see the ugly he had become. But Sally's words today left a mark. Now he forced himself to look. To really see himself. He wondered now how he could have ever allowed himself to believe he was turning handsome. The muscles he saw a few weeks ago were nothing more than more fat. His pa and family have always been so kind at never really saying anything to him. But in a way they did. They said things to him all the time. Little words. Words like "big" or "growing" or Joe's favorite word "galoot". They were always telling him how fat he was. They were telling him in not so many words. But they never just came out and said it. Hoss, you're too fat. You need to stop eating so much. They always allowed him to go on eating whatever he wanted. Never did much to stop him. He had to be an embarrassment to walk around with. He was nothing like his stout sturdy father or that lady killer of an older brother of his. He never had that beautiful baby face that Joe seemed to be born with. He could already tell that boy is going to grow up into a fine young man. A lady killer himself. So why was he so ugly? It sure wasn't his mama. He's seen her picture and she's the most beautiful fair haired woman he's ever seen in his whole life. So why was he so ugly? It's got to be cause he's fat. His family has always been so passive over his gluttony. Never really telling him how they truly felt. No, they let the kids at school tell him that instead. He decided right then that he was tired of being fat and ugly. If he was ever going to be considered normal, it wasn't anybody else's job to change him. He was going to have to do this on his own.

"Numba 2 son, no like woast poak?" He pushed the meat around on his plate.

"I'm not very hungry." Both Hopsing as well as Ben were intrigued to hear him say this.

"Is boy sick?" The young servant reached a palm out towards the boy's forehead. "Puhaps comin down with somthin'" The teen pulls away. "I'm not sick." He snapped drawing everyone's attention. "I'm just not very hungry, is all." He said in a lower more controlled tone. Ben was concerned by the way the teen snapped at Hopsing. It was an extreme reaction to the mild natured cook. Unusual behavior for him but didn't correct him. If there was something going on with the boy Ben thought it best to address it in private. The teen excused himself, saying he was tired and went off to his room. When Ben found him that night after dinner, his son was unconscious. His eyes were shut in heavy slumber. His eyes though were read and swollen. Maybe he really was sick. The boy typically mild tempered could have just lashed out because he wasn't feeling well. Not wishing to disturb his sleep he thought his little talk could wait until morning.

Ben sits at the table sipping on freshly brewed coffee. The hot breakfast before him. Little Joe washing up and readying himself for the day. Hoss comes from the room and plummets for the door. "Hoss, don't you want to eat?"

"I better be going Pa."

Ben was hoping to speak with him about his shortness with Hopsing the night before, but when his boy slept in he found it best to leave it be. Not sure if he was still under the weather. Now he wondered if his hastiness to leave the house and set about the day was any indication he was feeling better.

"You're heading out of here so fast you're forgetting your lunch." Hopsing catches up and places the brown package in his hand.

"Oh, thanks." He looks down at it. His eyes were still swollen. He goes for the door avoiding their gaze.

If there was doubt before, he got his answer that evening when Hoss came home from school and bypassed dinner all together and went straight away to his room. Somehow the talk he wanted to have didn't seem as important anymore as Hopsing had all but forgotten and their concern for the boy's well-being took priority. For three days the boy missed dinner and slept in through breakfast and each day tried to walk away without lunch. The idea of staying home until he felt better didn't come up. His son never asked. If he had, Ben probably would have given in, but his son was strong and wanted to push through it. He had to respect him for that. Hopefully it was nothing more than a stomach bug and wouldn't turn into anything more serious than that. He'd have to watch his son for any more signs.

"Dab burnit Little Joe." He overheard Hoss from his room. "Your dolls right there in the middle of the room."

"You leave my doll alone." Joe ran in to pick it up and squeeze it in his clutches. "Mama gave me this doll."

"Little Joe, I know where you got it from. That don't mean you gotta leave it all over the house."

"What's it to you."

"Dab burnit, I'll tell you what's it to me. You leave it right here in the middle of the floor. I try to step over it and my foot lands right on one of these." He lifted to show the tin soldier between his fingers. "I almost broke my neck tryin' to make it through all this mess."

"Interesting choice of language Hoss." His father interceded. Hoss blushed with embarrassment. "Little Joe, pick up this mess."

Hoss ached for sustenance. The first day he had without food was difficult. He was feeling the ache right when he woke up from not eating dinner the night before. The pangs would come in waves progressively throughout the day. Like an alarm clock that would go off at the times when his body felt like it should be getting food, the times he normally fed himself. He fed it with water only. He checked himself in the looking glass that night and saw no change. He was a bit disappointed. He knew it was ridiculous to think he would see a change. He knew these things took time. It took time to gain this weight, it was going to take time to lose it to, but he was hoping to see something. With as painful as today felt there was a large part of him that was hoping to see some bit of change that would tell him all this was worth it. He tossed and turned that night staving off the temptation to eat.

The second morning his nerves were jumping. His body was screaming to eat. Hopsing again chased him down to give him his lunch. If he was going to stick with his diet he was going to have to dump it just like he did the day before. Not hang around the other kids when they ate their lunch. That part wouldn't be a change. Same as every day. They picked on him just the same. That was okay. He was going to change right before their eyes. Soon enough he would be just like the rest of them. Deserving of just as much respect. He just had to be strong and keep it up. Though today he was feeling pretty weak. Again that night he saw no real change in the looking glass. Maybe his eyes got a bit darker or his skin got whiter. But that's not what he was hoping to see. What mattered was that he was still just as fat. Day 3 was going to be different. He was for sure going to see something on day 3.

He was weak. Weaker than he'd been the previous mornings. His body felt heavy. A different kind of heavy. Not heavy like fat heavy. Heavy like he had no energy to support his own weight. Like his muscles were deteriorating beneath his skin. Riding to school he was barely able to remain upright on his horse. He was tired more than anything. Though he'd been getting plenty of rest, as he had been going to bed right around the time everybody else was eating. He had difficulty staying awake in class and chose his lunch period to sleep against the shade of the sycamore. The only thing that had kept him from falling asleep in class was Kyle keeping in honest. He did that with his incessant pinching. Every time he would start to relax and drift off another pinch came, snapping him back. The weakness he felt was substantially worse than the first two days. One good thing was different though, he wasn't as hungry as he had been in the days prior, which was strange to him, but he was grateful he didn't have those pains to deal with. At least not as often and not as severe. It was as if his body was giving up telling him he needed food. Like it was finally figuring out he wasn't going to give into it. The pain hadn't left entirely. It though was less frequent and less severe. It came almost like it was asking permission to eat. Humbly begging but accepting when the answer was no.

He did see something different in the looking glass that evening. His skin was drooping down off his face. He checked his belly. It might have been his imagination but he could swear the fat between his pinch was thinner as well. He was doing it. That night all the lack of pain he felt throughout the day came back tenfold. He was tired and weak throughout the day. All he wanted to do was slip into unconsciousness to forget the pain. Now his body refused to allow that. He couldn't shut off his mind. The pain was just too strong. He tossed and turned trying not to give into his weakness, but he found difficulty closing his mind off to the pains in his stomach. Each day he felt weaker than the day before. It was no less than he deserved though. He let himself get this big and now he had to pay for it, in order to be normal again. This is what had to happen. But did this mean he wasn't supposed to eat at all. It was silly now to think of it, but this was exactly what he'd been doing. For days now, he hadn't eaten a thing. Just drank water to fill his belly. Each day he felt progressively weaker than the day before. Even to the point where his mind would fade. As he laid in the dark he thought now how silly it was to think he could go this long without food. It was foolish to not eat anything. He needed something to occupy his belly if he was going to get any sleep.

He snuck out of his room and crossed the dining room into the kitchen. He found some bread in the pantry and tore himself off a piece. _Just a little._ He chewed on it, little by little, which went against every instinct to devour it. He washed it down with some water. It wasn't quite enough to satisfy himself. Just a little bit more. He doesn't want to ruin his diet. Maybe some meat to go with it. He strips off some Roast beef and lays it on the bread and takes a bite and washes it down with more water. It was good. His hands trembled in reply. He wanted more but he couldn't have it, otherwise he'd have to start this diet all over. His eyes caught site of the powdered donuts that was to be their dessert, only he'd missed out because he didn't have dinner. He smelled the sugar and his mouth watered. He was now more aware of the shaking in his arms, like his nerves were doing somersaults beneath his skin. It was almost like his body was telling him he needed the sugar. Hopsing did make it for them. One couldn't ruin the diet too bad. He'd just have to work extra hard. It was a donut like he'd never tasted before. It wasn't so much like his mouth tasted it and chewed it up, but like his body did. It was absorbing it, relishing in it. When it was gone he knew that wouldn't be enough, he got another and this time got some milk to go with it. His body told him he needed this.

Ben heard the rattling in the kitchen and got up to investigate. There was the plate of donuts in hand with quite a few missing than when they went to bed. Milk and bread and last night's roast beef were on the counter. "What are you doing?" Hoss lowered his eyes shamefully.

"I was hungry."

"Well of course you were. You haven't eaten dinner for three days. I'm glad to see you're finally feeling better." Hoss looked behind him at the messy countertop which displayed his indiscretions. His father still thought he'd been sick. He hated to lie to his father but he couldn't tell him the truth either. Is it really a lie if he came to that conclusion on his own?

"Yeah Pa. I guess I have."

"Why don't I have Hopsing fix you up something? He'll be mighty glad to hear your fever broke."

"No. It's okay. I shouldn't have done this."

"Well, when you're hungry you're hungry. You can't help that."

"I should."

"Hoss you're a growing boy."

"Maybe I don't want to be a growing boy." His voice was teeming with emotion. He pushed past his father leaving the evidence of his misdeeds on the counter. Another abnormality. To leave behind a mess for others to clean. Again his father didn't correct him. There was something more going on here. He considered as he began to clean the mess Hoss had left behind.

The morning had come too quick. He stared at himself in the looking glass. The flab he felt between his fingers this time, was just as fat as it had been three days ago. His weakness caused the last three days to be all for nothing. Should he try again? He scolded himself. He was just too weak. He'd never be able to do it right. Maybe instead of looking for quick results he should settle himself down and be ready for the long haul. Eat every day, but eat less. Maybe not throw all of Hopsings food away. Hopsing put fruit in his lunch bag every day for him, maybe he should eat that.

He went back to eating dinner as well, but diminished amounts. Ben and Hopsing stopped thinking he was sick. He tried to eat just enough to keep them from worrying about him. But worry they did. The boy was different. They weren't blind to the fact that he was eating less. Nor that he was quieter. Withdrawn. Every bite he gave into would only make this thing drag out longer than it had to. Good ol' Kyle would be there to keep him honest. To remind him just how worthless he was in words and deeds. Let's not forget Travis, his loyal sidekick.

Weeks went by with this new routine. The change he thought he was seeing a few weeks ago weren't really there. Nothing was changing, he desponded as he stared at himself. He was just as fat as he'd been then. He wondered now how he could have ever allowed himself to believe he was turning handsome. Little Joe walked in.

"Haven't you ever learned to knock?"

"This is my room too."

Little Joe stopped and stared at Hoss's stomach. Hoss looked down at what he was looking at. He picked up his shirt and shoved his arms into the sleeves.

"How'd you get those?"

"What do you want?" He avoided the question.

"I just wanted to play."

"I can't play with you right now?"

"Why? Are you to busy checking yourself out in the glass, you big galoot."

"Get out of here you little imp!" He snapped hostilely. Joe was taken back. Hurt by the way his brother was treating him. He didn't leave though. He's been in such a sour mood lately. He thought there's got to be some way to get Hoss to lighten up. As he considered his options he caught site of the remainder of Hoss's clothes on the vanity. Hoss saw the mischievousness in his eyes and knew what was on his mind. He almost dared him to do it. Little Joe grabbed for the clothes and made to take off with them. This time Hoss was quick enough. He yanked them from his brother and shoved Little Joe so hard he went head first into the frame of the door across the room. The tot balled up holding his head and shrieked. The shrill of which hit Hoss in his core. His guilt was instantaneous. He was sorry for what he had done. He wished he could make it go away. Undo what he did. He didn't want that to happen. He didn't mean to shove him so hard. No amount of hugging and apologizing was going to make the hurt he caused go away. If he knew Little Joe, he wouldn't want Hoss anywhere near him right now. He was going to want their Pa. Which at the sound of his son's cry would be coming into the house at any moment. He stood in the middle of the room waiting. He was going to have to explain himself. Which at this point there really was no explanation. He looked down at his bare chest. Pa was going to see the bruises. He hurriedly got to buttoning up the remaining of his shirt as his father came through the front door.

The shrill of little Joe's scream was as if he had cut off a finger. Knowing Joe he couldn't put it past the boy. Ben threw down the mallet and wagon wheel he'd been working on and bolted into the house. The cries came not from the kitchen. Joe was on the floor halfway out of his room balled up holding his head. It was curious he was the first to reach him. He could have sworn Hoss was inside. He was surprised to see Hoss was in the very room Joe was crying from. He wasn't tending to his brother. He was doing nothing more than standing in the middle of the room dressing himself. Ben draws Joseph off the floor and into his arms. "What happened?" Doesn't Hoss care that his little brother is hurt? He pretty much figured by his inaction it was something he'd caused. Otherwise Hoss would be by Joe's side lifting him into his arms. Even if he did cause it accidentally, he'd still be holding his brother trying to make him feel better. This was something he did. Intentionally. What strange behavior for him to not react to his brothers tears. He's dressing himself, carrying on as if nothing at all has happened. "Hoss, I need you to answer me." It took everything within him to keep his tone even. "What happened?" He demanded.

"He tried to take my clothes again. I accidentally shoved him a little too hard." What has gotten into his boy?


	4. Chapter 4 Unlikely Companions

**Chapter**

Unlikely Companions

"Hoss, Hoss. Hey monster." He'd still been unable to shake off the title though the class was on to a new book. Travis stood beside his tormentor as the others stood on watching from the schoolhouse. "Have you ever thought about joining the circus? I'm serious. I once saw someone who was so ugly people paid to see him. You could probably make a lot of money that way. More money than you'd ever make on a ranch. My dad says you have to be pretty smart to run a ranch. I've heard the way you read. You're about as stupid as they come."

"Yeah I get it. I'm stupid and I'm ugly."

"What'd you say to me? Don't talk back to me." He slapped him on top his head. "You better know who it is you're talking to like that. Apologize. Tell me you're sorry." He yanks his hair. Socks his arm. "Say it Hoss! Say it!"

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry." He fought the tears threatening to fall.

~.~

"Hoss. Pa's got a letter from Adam today. Hoss did you hear me? I said Pa's got a"

"Yeah I heard you."

"Well don't you want to read it?"

"Not right now Joe." He went over and plopped down on his bed.

"You want to play a game?"

"I'm busy Joe."

"You don't look busy."

"Well I am."

"You're always busy doing nothing at all. Just staring at yourself in the looking glass. You're nothing but a big galoot."

"What did you say to me?"

"You heard me you're nothing but a big galoot."

"Don't talk back to me you little rapscallion. You better know who it is you're talkin to." Little Joe got scared but instantly fired back.

"I know who it is I'm talking to. You're nothing but a big ugly galoot."

"Hoss, you're hurting me." Ben heard his youngest scream from his room. "Get off. Get off."

"Say sorry."

"I'm sorry."

"Say sorry."

"Please. I'm sorry." Hoss had Joe pinned on the floor with the weight of him and he was strikng the boy over and over while Little Joe was doing nothing but covering his own head with his arms and crying for Hoss to stop.

"Hoss!" His dad bellowed. "What is the matter with you?" The little boy squirmed out from underneath his brother and ran to his father crying. "What is the meaning of this?"

"He was calling me names. I don't like it."

Ben looked down at the small framed boy gripping tightly and burying his face in his trousers. "What did you say?" The boy looked up, face streaked in tears.

"I called him a galoot. I always call him that." He tried to justify. It was true. Hoss has never reacted like this before. He's always been good humored about it.

"Little Joe, that's not a nice thing to say. I don't want to hear you call him that anymore. Do you understand?" He buried his face again in shame. "Little Joe?" He nodded his head still buried in his father. "Apologize."

He knew he did already. Maybe his father didn't hear. "I'm sorry." He mumbled within the cloth.

"Go to Hopsing. Maybe he can get you cleaned up." He took off in flight out of the room, wiping away his tears as he ran. His pa stood in the doorway for a moment staring down at his teenaged son, digging deep to find the words.

"Hoss, I don't know what's gotten in to you lately, but I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Maybe you're upset about Adam leaving. Maybe you're having a difficult time adjusting to him being gone. I know we're all upset with him being gone. Maybe I overlooked the way you were feeling. I thought you were handling it well and now I'm not so sure with you boy. I was very proud of the way you stepped up when Adam left. Now it seems, lately you've been going off. Losing your temper. Taking it out on your Little Brother."

"I don't like being called fat."

"Hoss, people are going to call you names. It's a part of life. You can't go settling your arguments with your fists. You have to learn to control your emotions. Talk things out. Sometimes sure, you won't have a choice. You're going to have to fight to defend yourself. I have a feeling, this wasn't one of those times." His teenage son lowered his head in shame. "Do you see how much smaller he is than you. He's a six year old boy, Hoss. You're 13. What were you thinking?" The teen shrugged in reply. "You were best friends three weeks ago. What happened to you two? Do you still love your brother?"

"Of course I do."

"I believe you're telling me the truth. Little Joe on the other hand."

"What are you saying?"

"Little Joe was crying to me, just before you got home today asking what he'd done to make you not love him anymore. You know he's a fragile child. He's been through a lot these last few years. People coming in and out of his life, myself included. I'm afraid that's done nothing for his sense of security. You Hoss, remain the one constant. His last thread of security and now he's under the impression you hate him."

"I don't hate him."

"I think he needs to hear that from you." He nodded humbly.

He found him in the kitchen sitting on the counter-top. This was where Hopsing had cleaned him up. When Hoss walked in Hopsing went to straightening up the mess, waiting for Hoss to speak. "Hopsing. You mind if I have a moment with Joe?" Hopsing smiled and scooped up what was left of the mess and walked out. Little Joe lowered his head, kind of afraid to be left in the same room as Hoss. He didn't like that feeling. He didn't like being afraid of the person who used to be his best friend. "Little Joe." The tyke kept his head lowered. He was shutting himself away from Hoss. Hurt and afraid of his wrath. What more he could do to him if he gets mad. Which lately seemed to be at anything or at nothing at all. "Little Joe. I'm sorry. I was wrong for doin that to ya." The boy said nothing. He sighed. He wasn't sure what he could say to Joe to get him to forgive him. His relationship with his little brother from this day forward could forever be severed if he couldn't find a way to fix this. "Little Joe look at me. Did ya here me? I said I was sorry." He reached for Joe's arm which Joe yanked away. "Come on Little Joe. Don't be like that." Joe said nothing just sat there with a hurt scowl. When Hoss was just about ready to give up and walk away, Joe finally broke the silence.

"Do you hate me?" He finally asked. Hoss turned back.

"Dabburnit Little Joe, why you go ask such a silly question like that. Of course I don't hate you."

"Then why are you mad at me all the time."

"I ain't mad at you. I just, get mad sometimes. Just like you get mad sometimes.

"When I get mad I don't hurt you."

"You sure do try though don't you?"

"Am I gonna be big like you someday?"

"Well I don't know Little Joe. It's hard to think you'd be any bigger than a momma coon but maybe." Little Joe giggled at the reference. "You can fight just as mean though."

"Not like you." Joe responded sullenly.

"Duggunit' Little Joe. I said I was sorry."

~.~

"He stared out at the open road ahead. He hated school. He hated what school was making him become. It was turning him angry. Making him into something he wasn't familiar with. Something he didn't like. Tearing him from his family. Causing an evergrowing rift. He was watching his family slip further away. He was standing on the edge of a great precipice. The gorge growing ever wider with each passing day. His family was on the other side. He shook away the imagery and pushed his horse onward. He felt sick to his stomach the closer to town he got. If he could just get a break. A break was all he needed. He stopped his horse again. He would be fine if he could just get a break. He stared out at the Thistle and the long pines beyond. His father would never know. _One day couldn't hurt._ He'd never been a bad boy before. He had minor gaffes. Nothing like this. Due to this, he recognized right off that it was the devil talking to him. Encouraging him to go. But the words were loud in his head. So loud they could not be ignored. _One day. One day couldn't hurt. You just need a break._

He laid against the tree staring out at the lake. If only everyday could be like this one. The only thing missing was his fishing pole. But this was nice anyways. Still, it would be nice to have it. He'd have to remember to bring it tomorrow. Who was he kidding? He couldn't get away with this two days in a row. _Why not?_ Couldn't he? His teacher would ask questions. It would definitely get back to his father. Oh then, the trouble he'd be in. Other kids stop going to school, why does he have to? If his teacher believes he's not going anymore, than she wouldn't ask questions. It wouldn't get back to his Pa.

~.~

"Ms. Harper. I wasn't here yesterday, because my Pa needed me at the ranch."

"Oh. I was concerned you'd gotten sick. There's been something floatin' around, you know."

"No mam. I'm just fine in that regard."

"Well good, I'm glad to hear. We've still got a little time before school starts. Why don't you go out and play a bit?"

"Actually mam, I just came by to tell you that my pa's going to need me for a little while longer. He sent me in to town to let you know."

"Oh. Well give your Pa my regards."

"Yes mam." He tipped his hat, and like that he was gone. That was easier than he thought it would be. His heart was giddy with excitement.

Still without his pole, he spent the second day swimming.

~.~

That night he snuck out with his fishing rod in hand and hid it behind the barn, so he could grab it easy-like in the morning. No way was he going to get away with walking past his father pole in hand without there being questions.

Nothing bit that next day but it was nice anyways. He decided to leave his rod behind a tree. It was less of a chance of someone coming across it way out here, than being able to keep hiding it behind the barn. Now he was committing two sins. Lying to his father and not putting his tools away after using them. He was becoming a regular bad boy.

He pulled his pole out from the spot behind the tree taking up his usual spot. Falling asleep at the serenity of it all. Two hours later he awoke to the tugging. He'd caught something. It took ten more minutes to pull it in.

Now what was he going to do with this fish? He hadn't considered before now, what he would do if he'd actually caught something. Now he had a decision to make. He'd hate to let a fish like this go. He couldn't take it home. Then his Pa would figure out his exploits. It was such a pretty fish. It bothered him to throw it back. His stomach was awfully rumbly. There was no real reason why he couldn't enjoy it now.

The fire was crackling pretty good. The shimmering lake lay before him and the smell of burning fish filled the air. Boy how his tummy grumbled. This was what life was about. This was what life should be about. At this moment all was right with the world. The heat burned at his front. There was even a strange warmth behind him that seemed to be misplaced. His mind came back from wherever far off place it was visiting. The warmth _was_ out of place. He turned back to see if he could locate the source. All at once he was filled with dread. _Oh No._ The brush was on fire. The trees were soon to catch. He was going to burn the whole forest down. He couldn't let that happen. He immediately jumped into action. He slapped at the fire with his hat and danced over it. The flames licked at his calves. He shuffled around kicking dirt into them but to no avail. The flames seemed to grow faster than he could fight them. He was losing the battle. His stomach knotted. Countless homes would burn and it would all be his fault. He couldn't let that happen. His fool's soul should die in this fire 'fore he let that happen. He leaned on a tree and stomped again with his foot. As his focus was on the flames at his feet, a small black shadow whizzed by his head pulling him from his thoughts and embedded itself in the tree he leaned on for support, with a sickening thump. He looked at the object just above his right hand. The white ivory handle of a knife protruded out. Small decorative feathers swinging below. The knife had just enough traits of a Whiteman and just as much traits of an Indian for Hoss to not really be sure to which it belonged. His eyes darted back to the direction from whence the knife flew. A slender man sat tall on his horse, backed by two more of the same, giving him his answer. All three shirtless, giving him full view of their creamed coffee skin. Their dark hair fell over their shoulders. Their pants were white leather. At this point Hoss didn't know what was more terrifying; the fire at his feet or the fire which burned in their eyes. The lead brave jumped down and charged forward waving his arms and shouting wildly. Hoss swallowed his fear and instinctively stepped back. The Indian shoved him aside and stomped at the fire with his own foot. He shouted at him again, than shouted at his companions who dismounted and went to join in the efforts. They dumped their buffalo skins on the fire and stomped. Moments later, when the fire had been extinguished, the Indians relaxed and shared a smile between them which turned into a chortle and grew into full blown laughter. At this Hoss allowed himself to chuckle with them, to which the lead Indian stopped and stared him down, forcing Hoss to stop his laughter. He said something to him. Something he didn't understand. His tone of voice and body language suggested it wasn't pleasant. There was definitely a language barrier between them. At that moment he wished he knew what they were saying. At least the kids at his school insult him in words he understood. Well not always. Than he wondered, maybe it's better to not know?

"You here." He looked at the seriousness in his eyes. Those were words he did understand. Those were English words. "You burn down forest for one fish." His English was broken but discernible. Each word considered before being spoken. "Where is your…" The brave stopped. He didn't know how to finish. The word he sought escaped him. "Naa'a." He finally said. Hoss shook his head not understanding. "Naa'a." He drew his fingers down the length of his cheek then pointed at him. This was sign language. He was told about the Indians being able to speak with their hands. It wasn't enough to have tongue words the Whiteman couldn't understand, but they had to have finger words too. Hoss shook his head again. "Naa'a." The brave said again, lifting his arm above his head to indicate something great in size. At Hoss's confused stare he repeated his movements and said again. "Naa'a." Somehow Hoss thought he caught on to what he was asking.

"My Pa?" The Indian repeated the word, though with his accent the young brave made this simple word sound foreign.

"Pa?"

"Father?"

"Farder." The brave repeated this one with confidence. This word he was sure of. "Farder. Yes. Naa'a." He was asking where his father was. Would he be signing his own death warrant if he admitted to them there was no one around to protect him?

"He's out there, in the trees. He'll be back soon." His father didn't approve of lying. He'd approved less of him being dead.

"Naa'a no here." They called him on his deception. "We watch, long time. White boy lone." His heart skipped a beat. How long had they been watching him? He glanced behind him at the knife still protruding from the tree at face level and pondered his chances. The young brave smirked. "I think Cawtrite lose boy." Did he hear him correctly? The brave's friends laughed behind him. Was that an Indian word or did he say Cartwright? I know you. You Cawtrite boy. You are Adam's brodder. You are Horse because you are big boy. Hoss was too astounded to correct him. Horse not remember me. I am Young Wolf." The name was familiar. "Son of Chief Wannamucca." The recognition flooded back. It was years since he'd seen him. He was Adam's friend. He's grown a lot in a few years. He was a man now and he barred little resemblance to the boy that he once was. Hoss wondered if Adam would recognize him if he was looking at him now.

He relaxed a bit. "Oh boy, I sure am glad it's you. I guess that means you're not going to scalp me?" He joked. The braves face turned from humor to offence. Hoss scolded himself. _Why would he say that?_ Young Wolf's face was serious and cold as he approached the boy. He reached his arm out and took hold of the knife at his side. The boy gulped uncomfortably. "You're not going to scalp me are you?" He asked seeking assurance. The brave looked at his companions and back at the stammering boy. He yanked the knife from its bedding and held the tip at young white's face.

"Maybe I should. Teach boy." Hoss gave a hard swallow. They held each other's gaze for a long while. The brave didn't think the boy could get any more paler than he was naturally, but somehow he managed. Hoss wasn't sure who snickered first. It seemed to happen all simultaneously. The braves relaxed and scoffed at his expense. "Boy see tribe man. He think scalp. Farder nice man, but not teach boy Whiteman scalp first. He gave his blade two quick swipes against his trousers, then placed it in its sheath and went back to his horse.

"Why Horse alone." Hoss glanced at his mount before realizing he was speaking of him. He shied up and shrugged his shoulders.

"Does farder know you here?"

"I don't reckon."

"Are you lost?" He asked mounting up.

"Not exactly."

"Boy should not be out here alone. Many dangers for boy far from home." The Indian brave sat resolute. He considered his actions. Looking to his friends he spoke before getting their approval. "Horse, ready horse. We will ride together. I will take you to your home. He looked to the youngest, maybe Hoss's age. 13 or so. The middle one a year or two older. Young Wolf was definitely the leader of the group. He was Adam's age, so that would make him about 18 or 19.

They crossed into open pasture and the humble ranch house came into view. Hoss pulled the reins on his mount. "I think this is plenty far enough. I can take it the rest of the way. Thanks for the company."

"We can take you all way. That is no problem. We have come most way. Not too much trouble to go rest. Perhaps I stop in. Say hi to farder. It has been many years."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why is that, Horse? Your farder still like us or have we made enemy with him too? Is that why not teach son about Whiteman crimes?"

"No, it's not that at all."

"Then what is it Horse?" He lowered his head. The brave answered wisely, saying the words Hoss couldn't say. "If we go to house, then Horse must explain how we met. Horse not supposed to be out alone." At horses reaction he knew he was correct. He was pleased with himself for guessing. "Why is Horse out alone? Did you run away?"

"Not exactly."

"Yes. I think Horse did run away. Horse run from troubles, but I don't think Horse troubles at home." He's figuring it out. "If Horse troubles not at home, than where?" He couldn't answer that. He's figured too much out already. Boys like them would never understand. It was the middle boy who offered.

"White boys go to school." Young Wolf considered.

"Horse not at school. I think Horse trouble at school. Does Horse run from school?"

"It just ain't for me, is all."

"Farder not know, Horse not go school." Hoss was embarrassed. How did a few native boys figure all this out so quickly? "Will Horse go school morrow?"

"Well, yessum, I guess I have to." The braves glanced at each other.

"If Horse not go school, we not know." He chuckled. "Unless, Horse be with us tomorrow." _What? _He continued at his confusion. "Would Horse like be with us tomorrow?" Was he inviting him? This felt like an invite. Lest his ears deceive him.

"Are you saying?"

"If you want, we see you tomorrow." He gave into a smile. This was an invite. The first real invitation he's gotten to do anything in a long time.

"Well, yessum." He stammered shyly. "I think I might."

"Tomorrow, we see you at lake."

"Yessury." His smile broadened. "I'll be there."

"Early."

"As early as I can. That's a promise." The braves smiled at their new pet.

Hoss came in still holding onto a smile. Ben wasn't sure what's changed, but Hoss has been a lot happier lately. Perhaps his little talk did something. Today he had the biggest smile he'd seen in a long time. Little Joe ran to him and the bulking teen lifted him into his arms.

"Howdy "Little Joe."

"You want to play a game?"

"I'd love to."

"Pee-ewe." The tyke scrunched and pinched his nostrils. "You stink." He recalled the fish and fire, and imagined the stench he was giving off.

"I guess I should get cleaned up first." He put the boy down and scurried off to his room before he'd be made to explain.

That night it wasn't fear and resentment that kept him awake. It was anticipation of an adventure like he'd never known before. Invited by Indian braves to hang out. Boy he'd never imagine something like that happening. They didn't know him for the loser the boy's at school knew him for. These braves saw him for the boy he was. They accepted him for the boy he was.

He wasn't sure what the day's adventures had in store for him. Maybe a day of fishing or swimming like Joe liked to do, or just a day of aimless wandering. Maybe they'd bring him to their home. He'd get to see the inside of a real-life Indian camp. They'd introduce him to family and friends. He'd get to talk with the elders. Maybe even the chief himself. Play with the Indian kids. His mind swirled with exhilaration.

"He ate a hearty breakfast about as quick as he could manage."

"Number 2 sons' appetite has returned."

"Yessury. This is mighty fine cookin'. Cain't keep me away from this for too long."

"Hopsing velly pleased. You make Hopsing doubt his cooking."

"No sir'ee. This is about the finest cookin' this side of the Mississippi. Of course I ain't ever seen the other side." Hoss was in an exceptionally cheery mood. It warmed his heart to see it. His boy finished up his plate and rushed out of the house even kissing his brother as he left and off he went.

~.~

He met the braves bright and early at the spot they'd met the day before. They were waiting for him by the lake as he rode in. "This is Sagwa-ni Kasa." Young Wolf pointed to the frail thin boy about 14 or 15. "Uh, Little Feather, and this is Numi Tubu Honi." Hearing his name, the chubby one smiled shyly. Young wolf, stopped a moment considering the translation, than spoke again. "It means, looks like bear when walks."

"Walks Like Bear?" Hoss re-translated.

"Yes. Walks Like Bear."

"Howdy."

"Sagwa-ni Kasa, Numi Tubu Honi, esoo padzukatudu pooggoo. Horse."

"Horse. Pooggoo." Little Feather repeated.

"Horse have Indian name?" Hoss felt kind of embarrassed about the confusion. Not quite sure if it was worth correcting.

"Horse because he big boy." Young Wolf explained with confidence. Hoss rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. Sure let's go with that.

"Are you ready Horse?"

"Ready for what?"

"Must go?"

"Go?"

"We cannot be at lake all day. We must go."

"Yessum. I guess I am." The braves turned their mounts and he followed them into the heart of the forest.

As it turns out the days adventures wasn't anything he could ever imagine. It was better. The braves were working. They had work to do. It was their job to bring food back to the tribe. Not their job alone. Many scouts were sent out daily as the tribe was quite large. There were a lot of mouths to feed. As it turned out this small band was working to feed their tribe. In fact that is what they'd been doing the day prior when they helped Hoss put out his fire.

The braves were unsuccessful in catching anything that day. They parted ways empty handed but promised Hoss that the next day they were sure to get something. He was ecstatic that they would invite him out a second time. The second day wasn't looking very promising either. As the day wore on, he could see the patience of his new companions being tested. He figured that going home empty handed was probably not the normal way of things for them. He started to come to the conclusion that the reason why they were going home empty handed was likely because of Him. He was the odd man out. The figure that screws up the equation. They put too much faith in Hoss too soon and he was letting them down.

That feeling of worthlessness that he'd become accustomed too was beginning to creep back in. It wouldn't take these boys too long before they realized just how stupid he was and rejected him like the kids in his school had.

Young Wolf was at the lead while Little Feather and Walks Like Bear rode behind, leaving Hoss right in the middle. Little Feather and Walks Like Bear were always whispering to each other. They did so in their own language so Hoss could hardly see the point of their whispering. He didn't think that it was so much to keep their conversation from Young Wolf. Young Wolf knew what they were doing and gave no interest. Young Wolf was always focused on the catch. Hoss pretty much figured their conversations were about him. They whispered about him like the kids did at his school, when the kids thought they were being slick. Like Hoss was too stupid to realize he was being talked about. The braves were frustrated in him. They were talking about how bringing him on was a mistake and about letting him go.

Little Feather kicked his horse away from Walks Like Bear and strode next to him.

"Can I ask question Horse?" This was it. The end of a friendship. Even before it began. He lowered his head.

"Sure." Little Feather took a breath before he began.

"Why stomach hurt?"

"What?"

"You have stomach hurt. Why stomach hurt?"

"What do you mean?"

"We saw you in lake. You swim. No shirt. You have stomach hurt." Hoss wasn't swimming the day he met them. That could only mean they were watching him before that day. He wondered for how long he was being watched. "Your chest." Little Feather explained. "Numi Tubu Honi, first to see. Does, Farder hurt your chest?"

"Sagwa-ni Kasa." Young Wolf snapped. "Tuggwe. Napidzia." Hoss wasn't sure what Young Wolf said to him, but it was enough to silence Little Feather. Hoss could have left it at that. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it, but he didn't want to leave Little Feather with a bad impression of his pa. Something about these boys thinking the worst of his pa didn't sit well with him. It was an undeserved mark on his father's character.

"No." Hoss answered. "My father doesn't do this." Against Young Wolf's discomfort, Little Feather used this as an opening to ask further questions.

"How chest get hurt?"

"Troubles not at home." Young Wolf restated what he had said just a couple days prior when they rode Hoss home for the first time. He clarified to his brother's to save Hoss the trouble.

"Where do hurt come from? You fight lot?"

"I don't fight. People fight me."

"Who fight you? Men?" It was difficult for Hoss to admit, but admit it he did. For the first time in a long time he admitted what was happening to him. He had never really talked about it with anybody except Adam, and even Adam didn't know all of it. He only really knew what he had the privy of walking in on. He wondered with these boys growing up in the tribe if there would be a language barrier, like some things might get lost in translation; or if there was just too much of a cultural difference between them that they wouldn't understand what it was he was telling them. They were quiet and let him talk. Whether they understood or not, it felt good to finally tell someone. Even if they judged him for it, it wouldn't much matter anyways. He couldn't see how telling them would come back to haunt him other than being judged and rejected by them. He wouldn't be any worse off for it. Things would go back to the way things were before he met them. What mattered was that they had no relations to anybody he knew. Not to his family nor anybody in town.

When he had finished the three remained silent. After a moment Little Feather asked him.

"Why don't you fight them?" Hoss thought about it. That question was only natural. It's what everybody thought he should do. Adam would tell him that often. He was encouraged on multiple occasions by the kids at school to fight. Truth was he didn't really know why he didn't.

"I don't know." He answered honestly. "I guess I just don't much feel like it."

"Do you not know how to fight?"

"I know how. Adam taught me."

"Are you afraid?"

"No. I don't think so." He thought about it. "I don't know. Maybe. I'm just not a fighter is all." Walks Like Bear does not fight. Sometimes other brothers fight him. I fight them. I say to Walk Like Bear, sometimes have to fight, even when not want to. Still he does not fight."

"That's what Adam says. He thinks I should fight."

"Adam?"

"My older brother."

"Adam good brother?"

"Yeah, he's a good brother. He used to protect me, like you protect Walks Like Bear."

"He not protect anymore?"

"Naw, he's not here anymore."

"Did Adam die?"

"No, he just went away."

"Where go?"

"He went to school."

"Different school than you?"

"Yeah, college. He went all the way to Boston."

"That far away?"

"Yeah, that's far away."

"You miss him?"

"Yeah. I miss him."

"It sad your brothers go away. My brothers not go anywhere unless they go to Great Spirit. Then, they not come back."

"You have many brothers?"

"They are all my brothers. Numi Tubu Honi is my only brother, brother."

"What is Young Wolf?" Hoss was curious.

"Young Wolf is son of Chief Wanumucca."

"I know that. I thought you were too."

"No. Not us. Young Wolf like prince. One day Young Wolf be chief."

"But what is he to you?"

"Young Wolf is Mother's Sister's child."

"Your cousin?"

"Cousin." He nodded.

"Do you have any other brother, brothers? Not cousins?"

"No. Just Numi Tubu Honi. Walks Like Bear."

"How about Young Wolf? Does he have other brothers? Not cousins?"

"No brothers, but he have sister."

"He does?"

"Saratucci. Daughter of Chief Winemucca. She is like princess. Young Wolf is like prince."

"How old is she?"

"Too young for you." Little Feather chortled.

"Ah shucks. I wasn't thinking about me."

"She is this high." He indicated by raising his hand to his thigh.

"That's about the same as my little brother."

"Kawe yadooa." Young Wolf interrupted the two conversationalist reminding them of their task. Little Feather frowned.

"What'd he say?"

"He say, I talk too much."

"Come here." The two came over as Young Wolf jumped off his horse. "Look at this." He lifted some branches of a mid-sized bush. Hoss wasn't sure what it was Young Wolf was trying to show them.

"The branches that are broken. What kind of plant is it?"

"Elderberry." Hoss answered.

"Is it snapped or chewed?"

"Chewed I think."

"So it was eaten. What kind of animal eat this?"

"Well me for one."

"Yes, you and many people. Do people eat off of plant or gather?"

"If I was hungry enough." Little Feather laughed aloud but stifled it at Young Wolf's look of aggravation.

"Okay, okay." Hoss focused. "People gather."

"But this is chewed so not people." He glanced back at Little Feather who held an ornery smile. He was amused with Hoss. Hoss got him to laugh at his joke as silly as it was. He was the funny one. He was never the funny one. "What kind animal eat this plant?"

"Well lots of animals. Rabbits and squirrels and deer."

"How high is it?" He examined the height and imagined the beast.

"What you think kind of animal?" He considered.

"Look at these." Little Feather picked something off the dirt.

"That's poop!" Hoss scrunched his face. At his reaction Little Feather held it out to him taunting him with it.

"Are you afraid?"

"No." He shot back not wanting to be seen as squeamish. He wasn't so much squeamish of poop. He just wasn't used to holding poop in his bare hands.

Lone Wolf wasn't much of a conversationalist. Although he'd been the one to initially invite Hoss, he'd kind of taken a quite mien. Mostly what was spoken between them were tricks of the trade. He was always continuously teaching Hoss. Trying to get him to say anything more than that was like pulling teeth.

He was patient with Hoss. On the third day, he'd taught Hoss, step by step, how to set a snare for rabbits. They left the snare to see what else they could hunt. Before the day was over they went back to see if it had been successful. Hoss was downright elated when they saw a hare flailing about vigorously upon seeing the group approach.

Young Wolf pulled it from its entrapment. Hoss's thrill washed away as Young Wolf who held the creature by its hind legs swung it down onto the dirt. He startled at the brutality of it. It shrieked the most god awful cry. It sounded just like Little Joe sounded the day he pushed him into the door. He tensed. Hoss wanted to clasp his hands against his ears to block off the scream but stopped himself, not wanting to appear weak to these other boys. Instead he clenched his fist and tightened his shoulders feeling the screech reside there. Though the hare was dazed it was still kicking.

This wasn't the first time he'd heard a hare scream. He found an injured hare once hiding in the corner of their stables. When he reached for it, that one screamed too and fought with the same vitality. He was trying to help that one, though that one had no way of knowing Hoss's intentions. His pa was upset at him when he saw the scratches and bite marks on his hand and arms. Both his Pa and Hopsing seemed grateful the animal would probably die and thought Hoss foolish for trying to rescue it. They wanted to place blame upon this single creature for Hopsing's eaten garden.

This one sounded much like the other. This one though, they weren't trying to help. This one they were killing. Young Wolf swung it again and again slamming its head against the forest floor, until the fight was gone and the animal was still. Hoss flinched at each thud. He gave it back to Hoss to hold but stopped at Hoss's ill look. Young Wolf urged him to take the animal which Hoss submitted to. The hare still had a heartbeat. Fast against Hoss's fingers. Hoss held the hare between his hands as Young Wolf twisted its neck to finish off the kill. Hoss had to look away. He felt the muscles convulse and the heartbeat eventually stop. It was a horrible thing for Hoss to witness. To aid in. It was weird taking a life. This of course wasn't the first time he'd taken a life. He fished all the time. He never once found a hurt fish that he considered rehabilitating. So why was this so different? He wasn't sure what he expected hunting would be like. He didn't quite figure he'd react this way. He knew hunting was a necessary part of survival to many people, just like fishing. Wasn't it the same thing? Just fishing for creatures outside the water. He thought that when the time would come he'd be more open to it. But feeling its struggle and the life leaving the little creature, he couldn't help but mourn for what he had done.

Young Wolf saw it. The internal battle he was having and because he saw it, Little Feather and Walks Like Bear saw it too. Little Feathers first response was to smirk in mockery. Young Wolf's seriousness stifled him. He understood just then the white boy's hesitation. He knew he and the white boy were worlds apart. This was just one example of that.

"The Great Spirit has given us charge over the land." Young Wolf explained as the three rode him back to the lake. "This is a responsibility not to be taken lightly. Animals die. Animals kill. Some Animals grow in numbers while others perish. Our people must eat. Though we may appear superior we are in the great web of life. We too die and are killed. We are superior in just one way. We have the knowledge we need to keep this world balanced. If we care to use that knowledge. White men kill without caution. They see creature they kill creature. We see creature we think, should this creature be killed. Some seasons bears are strong in numbers. Some seasons they are not. The seasons they are not, elk might then be strong in numbers or rabbit or striped ones."

"Raccoon?"

"Racoon, yes."

"We look for the strong ones to kill, so they do not over power the land. This is our job, given to us by the Great Spirit. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I think so."

"We do one more thing that the white man does not do."

"What's that?"

"We say thank you."

"We do that too."

"You thank the great spirit, yes. That is good, but we thank the rabbit too for the sacrifice it has made." Hoss chewed on this.

"What in tarnation do you do that for? It's not like the rabbit had a choice." If it did he didn't think it would have agreed.

"Every life is special. This should never be forgotten. We are not owed the life of the rabbit. We should not forget what has been given to us. We must always be grateful."

~.~

"They accepted him as one of their own. Hoss didn't know too much about hunting. This wasn't the first time he'd gone out on hunting trips. His Pa has taken him and Adam a time or two, but with them he'd more just tagged along. Adam was the oldest and who his pa depended on to carry most of the burden. His father only really allowed him to come along so he wouldn't feel left out. In this case though the boy's expected him to work just as hard. They taught him though, what they knew, allowed him time to catch on. They had patience and kindness with him, like Will Reagan had when teaching him the ways of the ranch. They taught him many different ways to set up snares. Most days they'd come home with small critters; rabbits, squirrels, and coon. But that's not to say they didn't hunt for the large stuff too and on some days they'd get something. Of course then he might not see them for a few days after, if they caught the big stuff.

About three weeks in, after pulling in a deer and watching Young Wolf cut its throat with his hunter's knife to finish off the kill. He had washed the knife and himself by the lake. Instead of sheathing it when he was done, he turned to Hoss.

"Do you know where I get this knife?" Hoss answered with a shake of his head. "Your Farder Mr. Cartwright give it to me." He didn't know that. "I was young. Little older than your little brother."

"Joseph?"

"Adam and I play together. You were much small then."

"He used to talk about you."

"Horse. Your Farder not like other white men. I make friend Adam. He make friend Paiute. Other white man not like that. Not all white man bad. Not all white man want hurt Paiute. Some cautious. Some scared. Some white men hurt Paiute because scared. Not understand Paiute ways. Paiute must talk to white man. Make them understand. Your brother smart man, but not know more to education than learning in building. True smart is learning where one lives. You see my people. One hundred years ago not important to learn Whiteman's language. Now Whiteman live where we live. Now we _must_ learn of Whiteman. We _must _know Whiteman language so we can _talk _with Whiteman. Teach them Paiute ways. Adam was good friend. He taught me many words. I teach my people many words. It has been long time since I have friend like Adam. I forget many words too." Young Wolf glanced at his brothers before continuing. Little Feather and Walks Like Bear stood by and let Young Wolf speak. He looked back at Hoss. "You think, I take you out every day because I'm good friend, but that is not true. My reasons are selfish. You teach me words. Words I forget. I teach you land. This is good trade." Hoss scowled. Little Feather felt bad for Horse. He could tell the words of Young Wolf had hurt him. The words did have a sting to them. Hoss was hoping Young Wolf would see him as a friend like he saw Adam. As he thought, he guessed it was okay he didn't. At least he was friendly. Even if they weren't friends. At least he didn't mock or ridicule him like the kids at his school.

Little feather was the talkative one. What Young Wolf lacked in personality, Little Feather made up for. He became the friend Hoss had always hoped for. Perhaps Little Feather felt close to Hoss because of their age, or maybe it was just who he was as a person. Just the friendliest boy he ever did meet. Except his little brother, that was at least until Joe's fiery temper would rear its ugly head. They talked about home and what it's like growing up in the tribe. He asked Hoss a lot of questions about his life and what it's like for him growing up on a ranch. They talked about family and food and money and belongings. They talked about fishing and hunting and trees and animals. About cliffs and meadows and about the other tribes in the area. Little Feather has been to every tribe in Nevada. Young Wolf would go all the time and he'd go with Young Wolf. They'd go out on hunting parties with the other tribes. They'd also go to trade with them. Sometimes they'd go to talk about the white man and what they were doing to them and what they planned on doing back. The talked about getting things in exchange for paper versus giving things to someone that they could actually use or eat. Hoss just explained that you could take that same paper and give it to someone else in exchange for something you could use or eat. Little Feather thought that was a queer way of doing things. An unnecessary step in the process. Little Feather asked him what it was like to sleep in a bed. Little Feather had never slept in a bed. He always slept on the ground. Well not on the ground, ground. Little Feather was adamant about not letting Horse think he slept on the dirt. He always slept on a bed of blankets. Though he was curious about Horse, he never saw himself as being poor. Just different. He was rich. But a different kind of rich.

Walks Like Bear was a shy boy. Didn't do much talking of any kind except in his own language and even those words were few and far between. Any questions he might have he usually asked through his brothers in his own language. Hoss knew Walks Like Bear knew English, but maybe he wasn't very comfortable speaking it, or maybe he wasn't very comfortable with Hoss, or maybe he's just shy all around. Kind of chubby like himself. He could see why he might be shy. He was a short chubby though, not large and round like Hoss was. Little Feather was about the same height as Hoss, maybe an inch or two shorter. Skinny though like Little Joe. He'd imagine that'd be about the build his little brother would grow to have.

~.~

"See those prints?" Young Wolf asks.

"Yessum."

"Are they Whiteman or Brave?"

"Whiteman, I imagine. The grounds been trompled all through." The young men laughed.

"Not Whiteman."

"Injun?"

"No."

"Bandeleros."

"No."

"Well are you going to give me a hint?"

"Not man."

"Woman?" They laughed.

"Not man, not woman and not child."

"Horse. Of course. I can make them out now."

"Not a horse either."

"What then?" Little Feather fanned his hands out at the side of his head, sneaking the answer to Hoss.

"Now how can you tell that?" He asked disbelieving.

"Feet smaller and in line."

"Ahhh."

"But before I see that, I see this." He pointed to the trees the prints walked between. There were scars in the tree. Little Feather jumped from his horse, fanned his ears again and made a scraping motion against the bark; imitating a deer. "The females and babies aren't going to show that. But you can look for other signs. See the instep."

~.~

That evening, about six weeks in, as they made their way back to the house Young Wolf spoke.

"Tomorrow we were thinking of going on a night hunt."

"A night hunt. How do you expect to see anything at night?"

"It's different. But in a lot of ways it is easier. The moon makes things stand out in a way you don't get in the sunlight." Hoss's face spoke his feelings. "You don't believe me?" Young Wolf asked amused. "Would you like to come with us? I can show you what I mean. You will see the difference." He thought about it, this would change things. He'd have to sneak out tomorrow. Something about a night adventure he just couldn't pass up. He nodded eagerly. "Tomorrow, by the lake when the moon is high."

"I'll be there."

He'd made the mistake of sleeping in this morning. It was hard to fall asleep the night before thinking about the adventure to come and with no responsibilities and nowhere to be he took advantage of the morning. It was little Joe that woke him. Not softly neither. He was awarded with the full weight of his little brother as he jumped on him, bony knees meeting his ribs. Though it was a shock it didn't hurt all that bad. The boy was too thin to cause any real damage. Once he came into his senses he took hold of his brother before he could escape and dug his fingers into his side. "You little scamp." Too which Joe seized and giggled aloud, fighting to get out of his hold.

"Pa told me to wake you up." He said between laughter.

"Not like that." He retorted. When Joe was just about out of breath, he let up and Joe squirmed away ran out the door laughing the whole way.

He got himself dressed and played off his languor and ate breakfast under scrutinizing eyes.

"Don't you have someplace you've got to be getting off to?" His Pa pushed.

"Yes sir." He finished up and walked out.

Without any direction he went back to the lake and spent the day to himself, even taking in a midday nap. He knew he would need the sleep for the night to come. He made it back to the house hitting the sack early, not because he was tired. More so, hoping the others would take his cue and follow suit. Little Joe went to bed at the normal time. Hopsing and his Pa stayed up a while longer. He could hear Hopsing retire. It wasn't until about ten his father called it a night. It came none too soon.

He didn't want to chance opening and closing his door. Sneaking across the living room floor and chancing the front door. His window was the quickest way out. Little Joe was his biggest contender. Fortunate for him he was a heavy sleeper. He may not like going to bed but once he was out he was out. Except for when he was having night terrors which happened a lot after Ma died, but he hasn't had too many of those recently. Tonight he was sleeping soundly. He scurried across to the stable and saddled his horse by the light of the moon. He walked it a ways from the house. When he thought he was far enough he mounted up and rode like the wind hoping he hadn't missed his friends. He was late but his friends had waited for him.

They found tracks just like Young Wolf promised they would, and it wasn't hard neither once he knew what to look for. He could see the shadow affect off of the prints. It gave them features that couldn't be seen during the day. Hoss was just tickled with excitement. The others were tickled too at their toys delight.

He got back to bed before the sun came up not thinking he could fall asleep, but fall asleep he did. It was his Pa that woke him up this time.

"Sleeping in two days in a row." His Pa chided. Hoss shot up to his voice.

"Sorry Pa." He scrambled out from beneath his covers frightened and scurried to his bureau. With red shot eyes and trembling arms, he fumbled through the contents of his drawer. He wasn't sure what time it was, but it was much later than it should be. Boy he really screwed up this time. His father watched him in bewilderment. He dressed in a hurry and made his way to the breakfast table looking scuffled and askew. They hadn't eaten without him. Why would they? Of course they'd wake him up for school. He shoveled down a good helping and kissed his brother as he walked out the door. Watching him dress and then eat like he had, bewildered Ben, than amused him. He was curious. Does he not know? He couldn't let this carry on any longer. He walked out the door and watched as Hoss finished securing the saddle on his horse in the yard.

"Where are you going?"

"To school, Pa." He responded innocently.

"Hoss, its Saturday." The boy stopped to consider. Then smiled meagerly with embarrassment. He scratched his head wondering what his next move was. "That's okay. Leave the horse saddled. I was thinking about making a trip into town. Thought you might like to join." He felt pretty exhausted he could use a day of rest, but he could make it through a trip to town. He hasn't seen it in a while, though his father didn't know that. He'd almost forgotten what it looked like.

~.~

Hoss stared at the ground following the tracks on the main path, which grew in number as they got closer. It was mostly horse and man and even wagon wheels, which again was horse and man, but he spotted other things too, deer and rabbit and squirrel. They didn't walk the path so much as cross over it. Their first stop was picking up supplies from the feed store, then the local market.

"Can we get some sweets Pa?" The little one asks.

"Sure, you can pick yourselves out a few pieces. You want some sweets Hoss?" He knew that was a silly question as he asked it.

"Sure Pa." But his son was someplace else. He was staring at a stack of books on the rack. He walked to them engrossed in what he was seeing. He lowered down and stared at one book in particular. Frederick Mason, Scats and Tracks, An Illustrative Guide. He pulled it from the pile and turned the pages. There was an abundance of information for being such a thin book. Animals listed in alphabetical order. Each page containing sketches of footprints and the animals they belonged to. There was descriptive texts to depict how they would appear on land. He sure would love to have this book. He'd never thought he'd say that about a book, but did this really count as a book? Young Wolf would be surprised at how smart he would get. "Pa, can I get this." His Pa, was surprised when his middle went to the books in the first place, disregarding the temptations of sweets. He watched in wonderment as his boy pulled the book and flipped through the pages. Not wanting to disturb him.

"Yeah sure." His middle has never been interested in books like Adam has. Perhaps it was because they hadn't found the right subject matter.

"I got some pieces for you Hoss." Little Joe held up his bag of prizes. Normally Hoss would pick out his own, otherwise Little Joe was liable to get the type of sweets only he enjoyed most of all, in hopes that Hoss would decide he didn't want them and hand them over as was the case here. Hoss didn't call him on it though. He accepted his offering with amiable regard.

~.~

"Mr. Cartwright!" The call came from up the street as they left the shop. Ben let out a heavy sigh. "You think you can steal that land right out from underneath me?" He was creating quite a scene, drawing the attention of bystanders.

"Come on." Ben ushered his children the other direction.

"Don't you walk away from me!" Ben heard the thudding of footsteps fast approaching. He turned to face the man as he was right up on them.

"Mr. McCabe. I won that deal fair and square. Now if you'll excuse me." He turned his back on him again.

"You look at me when I'm talking to you." McCabe grabbed at his arm and forcing Ben to face him again.

"I'm with my kids." Ben said evenly. McCabe glanced down at the two peering from behind their pa.

"Don't use your kids as an excuse. Not when they're just as much a part of this as you are." Ben could feel his face turning flush.

"Is there a problem here?" The deputy interposed as he approached. McCabe suppressed his displeasure at being interrupted.

"No." Ben excused. "It was just a misunderstanding." McCabe bit down his anger. He stood upright taking his hand from Cartwright's arm.

"William's." Ben nodded to the young lawman before turning his back on McCabe again.

The crowd had begun to stare as the father took his two sons across the street, to his awaiting buggy, never once looking back.

_One of these days Cartwright, I'm going to force you to face me. _He thought. He passed a glance towards William's before turning his back on him. William's watched McCabe walk back up the street to the saloon.

He went over to Ben who was lifting Joe into the cart.

"You sure everything's alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. He's just blowing off steam."

"You don't want to press charges or anything?"

"For what? Really, nothing happened. He talked that's it."

"Well if he causes anymore trouble you let me know."

"Roy's still out of town?" Ben asked the young deputy.

"Yes sir. Looks like he'll be out the rest of the week. The trial in Silver Springs took longer than expected. It's been just me and Browns holding down the fort."

"Well, you keep up the good work. You're doing a fine job sonny. I'll be sure to give Roy my reference when he returns." McCabe watched the interaction of Ben and the deputy. He watched as William's tipped his hat with a halfcocked smile and strode away. McCabe brooded as he dipped inside the Red Dragon Saloon.

"Pa, why is that man mad at you?" Joe asked when William's was out of earshot.

"Son. It's just grown up stuff."

"It looked like he wanted to fight you."

"I wouldn't worry about that. He's all bark and no bite." The father assured.

"I wouldn't have let him talk to me like that. I would have walloped him a good one."

"I know you would have Joe, and that's not a good way of thinking. That way of thinking is going to get you into trouble one day. You can't go around settling your differences with your fist. You're going to have to learn that." Hoss lowered his head and let his father's words sink in. He's heard his father say this so many times before. It was a lesson he took to heart. Maybe this was the real reason why he'd never fought the kids at school. He didn't want to disappoint his pa. Fortunately he didn't have those problems to worry about any more. The problems he had before were no longer his problems.

~.~

The moon was a pale one and high in the sky. Hoss with his book in hand and Little Joe at his side, surveyed the ground in front of the house. "Do you see the way the moonlight shines off the tracks? It's a lot different hunting tracks in the night as it is in the day. Some people might think it's harder, but sometimes it's just the opposite. The moon offers a different kind of light. It cast a deeper shadow which causes each print to stand out more. In the daylight it doesn't do that. There's hardly any shadow at all especially when the sun is right overhead. The footprints will look more flat. Look out over there. See that? This is a perfect night. Look how far you could see those tracks go." Little Joe feigned interest and danced in and out of the hoof prints marking the land with his own small prints. Hoss averted the attention to Joe's prints. "See that Little Joe? Look how much smaller your feet are? There's a heavier impact with your left foot than with your right, probably because your left leg is stronger. Look here too. See your right foot? It kind of slides a little."

Ben watched his son's actions amused. His son has been happier lately, ever since he had that talk with him, something had changed in him. It's like he found himself again. He's found this new interest and delved head first into it. Most of all it warmed his heart to see the two getting along. He and Little Joe have gone back to being the best of friends they once were. Little Joe is happiest being at his brothers side.


	5. Chapter 5 The Guilty One

**Chapter**

The Guilty One

It was a warm Tuesday. McClure had made a trip out to him early afternoon. Hyped up about the land deal and the discrepancies in the contract that had been drawn. The urgency he expressed in meeting with the lawyer lest it be taken out from under them. Ben had to take an unexpected trip into town and was there by late afternoon.

Ms. Harper saw him coming out of the lawyer's office.

"Good afternoon Ben. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes. All good. I'm about ready to close a huge land deal just working out the details."

"Really?"

"Four hundred acres by Lake Tahoe."

"Sounds promising. You're keeping your boys pretty busy. I guess the work load is only going to get heavier before it gets lighter."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"So does this mean we won't be seeing Hoss for a while?"

"No, no he'll still be making it in. I think it's pretty important for him to finish his education. We'll use him when we can, but his schooling takes priority."

"It's good to hear you say that Ben. I'd hate for him to fall behind any more than he has already. So when do you think we can expect him back?"

"What do you mean, expect him back?" Ben asked with a queer smile. "Where did he go?"

"What do you mean, where did he go? He's been working with you on the ranch has he not?"

"Not since school started. Ms. Harper, he has been coming to school?"

"Ben, he hasn't been to school for several weeks now."

"How many weeks?"

"Going on two months if I'm not mistaking."

"Why am I just hearing about this now?"

"He told me that you needed him out on the ranch. I had no reason to suspect he was lying. He's a good kid."

"So where is my son?"

~.~

He waited by the fire for his son to return. "How was school today?"

"Oh good Pa."

"What'd you learn about?"

"Um, we're learning about the French Revolution."

"Didn't you learn about that last year?"

"Well, we did, but Ms. Harper wants to cover it again for the new kids." He followed his son with a scrutinizing gaze as he escaped within the quarters of his bedroom. He asked no further questions when he returned sometime later to prepare for dinner. Instead, he watched his son as he ate, and continued to watch him as he played with Joe after dinner and as he prepared for bed. What has his son been up to? Was the overwhelming question. He intended to find out.

~.~

He had his horse saddled and ready bright and early. When his son left that morning, he followed his son from a distance. He stayed within the hills and sought cover in the meager brush as his son made his way across pasture land headed towards Rock Lake. One of Hoss's favorite spots. It was easier to follow him once they got within the thick of the trees. His son dismounted and walked his horse to drink by the lake. So, he comes out to the lake every day? He was about to confront his son when a few Indian braves came into view. He was struck with horror. He grabbed for his rifle set in its sheath at Buck's side but he was too far away to intervene. His need to catch his son in his misdeeds only put him in a position where he could helplessly watch. His son turned to the braves exchanging few words before remounting his horse. The four rode off together away from the lake into the heart of the forest. Had his eyes deceived him? His son wasn't afraid of them at all. It was as if he'd expected them. Like he waited for them. His countenance was one of peace, serenity, maybe even happiness.

He followed his son day after day keeping his distance, and the results were always the same. After three days he thought it was time to talk to the chief himself.

While the boys were out riding doing only God knows what together, he rode up to the camp of the Paiutes. Greeted with bows.

"I have brought offerings." He opens his saddle bag to reveal turquoise linen. The sentries guide him into camp and to the Chiefs tent.

"What brings the honorable Cartwright?"

"It is about my son and yours. Young Wolf." His curiosity was peeked. "Do you know what your son does every day?"

"My son brings food for the people." He answered assuredly. That was enlightening. So Hoss was hunting with them?

"Were you aware that my son has been accompanying him on his quests?" The Chief gave a look of interest which told Ben he didn't know, but then he sat back guardedly, reserved. He needed to assure that his next words didn't offend the tribal leader. "The problem does not lay with them seeing each other. Your son would honor me greatly if he came to my home. The problem lays in that my son is supposed to be in school. He has been missing school for several weeks now."

"Whiteman school is very important to Whiteman?"

"Not to all, but to me it is." The chief considered his words.

"I shall talk to my son."

"May I make a most humble request?"

"Speak."

"I request that your son not go to the lake tomorrow." The Chief imbibed this request, then smiled keenly.

"Does the honorable Cartwright wish to surprise his son?" At the moment he saw the venerable chief as more than a tribal leader. The two fathers understood each other only in a way father's could. "It will be done. Go now, in peace."

~.~

He rode out early the following morning and hid his horse in the brush where he'd seen his son meet the group on the morning prior. Although greatly disappointed in his son's misdeeds, he couldn't help but feel the mischievousness of a twelve year old as he waited for his son to arrive. The hoof steps got closer and Ben put away his smile to address his son as a father should. Hoss stopped his horse at the sight of his father standing in the clearing, too late to turn back and his face turned from one of mindfulness to dread. "Perhaps you'd like to explain this." He lifted the jilted fishing rod for his son to see. Ben had found it while scouring for the perfect place to hide his mount. Hoss had forgotten all about it. "Or perhaps you'd like to explain why you're out here in the first place, instead of at school."

"I'm sorry, Pa. I…"

"How long have you been missing school now?"

"Not long. I swear it."

"Don't play coy with me boy. You've been missing for going on two months now. Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

"No, I..."

"I outta tan your hide for this boy."

His son was red faced, fighting back tears. His heart melted for his boy. This sweet child. What could have caused him to sway so far? He remembers a time when it was he too under the lash of his father for his many misgivings. What it was like to be young. But he wasn't young anymore. He was a father. A father must do what he has to for his boys. He's got to act like a father. When his son's mess up, it's his job to set them straight. No matter how difficult a task, he's got to do it. Just as his father had.

The ride back was the longest Hoss had ever had next to his Pa. He rode with head low in a humble and unnerving silence.

"Get in the house boy." To Joe's amazement Hoss was back early. His happiness turned to bewilderment as he watched the way he sauntered in. There was no use running to him. Something was wrong. His father followed in after. "Hopsing. Take Little Joe to stable the horses."

"Yessuh, Missah Cotwight."

How could his father have asked this of them? It's like he'd forgotten all about his fear. He was being made to be around horses outside the safety and comfort of his Pa. On a normal occasion the tyke would have obstinately protested at this, but this moment seemed far from normal. There was something else going on here. He thought of his older brother. He was in trouble somehow, but he didn't know why. Hoss was never in trouble. Hopsing wraps his arm around the shoulders of the small boy and guides him out. Little Joe thought it best to swallow his fear and do as he was expected. He gave a backwards glance to his older sibling. Wishing he could be there for him, if for no other reason than to give him strength. Little Joe was usually the one in trouble. Out of the three of them he was the mischief-maker. Standing before his father was something he'd gotten used to. Though he never got to the point where he enjoyed it. His father could be downright scary at times. He knew he deserved it, most of the time. His brother was a different matter though. _What could he have done wrong?_ He wondered. Whatever it was, it was bad. He could tell.

"Son, I want you to tell me why you haven't been going to school." He was afraid to tell his father the truth. If he told his father about these boys, than his father would want to say something. If his father did, it would make more trouble for him. Just like it did every time Adam would step in to protect him. The boys would stop then, but it would come back to him even harder when his brother wasn't around. At least Adam had enough sense not to get Pa involved. Now as he stood before him, his tongue was tied. "Speak boy or I'll take the belt to you. You mark my words." He wasn't sure what was worse at this point, them or him.

"I just don't like school. That's all."

"Boy, that's not good enough. Why don't you like school?" He lowered his head. "I know you have a difficult time understanding, but if you just set your mind to it, you'll get it. You are not stupid. You are a very intelligent boy."

"I know Pa. I'm just lazy."

"No. I didn't say that. You can be very motivated. A very hard worker, when you set your mind to something. That's why I don't get it, why you're not setting your mind to this."

"You wouldn't understand." His son dismissed.

"Talk to me, son. What is going on with you?"

"Father, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew as I was doing it, it was wrong. I have my reasons for doing it, and I know that don't make it right. Please, just understand that I can't tell you why I done what I did. I know I deserve to be punished. I accept that." Ben reflected. That was a very brave thing for his son to say. Tactical in a way. For it seemed now Ben's defenses had been shattered. His heart softened. He found he no longer had what it took to raise a hand to his boy. But what was he to do?

"Answer me this. Will you start going to school again?" It panged Hoss to say.

"Yes Pa. If this is what you want. I will go."


	6. Chapter 6 Just Like That

**Chapter**

Just Like That

"There were tears in the eye of the gentle girl, as these words were spoken; and when one fell upon the flower over which she bent, and gliss-ened brightly in its cup, making it more bee-utiful, it seemed as though the out-pouring of her fresh young heart, claimed kin-dred with the love-li-est things in nature."

"Very good Hoss. I see you've been practicing at home." He gleamed shyly. "Have a seat. Clay, why don't you read the next part?" He walked down the row of students ignoring their taunts and snickers as the next victim stood, making his way to the front of the classroom. He took his seat at the second to the last row. Kyle sat behind him. An occasional spitball hit his neck as he read his new installment. _A Mountainman's Guide to the Wilderness, _which he hid within the pages of the class assigned reading material, Oliver Twist. He wiped them away from the back of his neck as he read and did his best to ignore them as they came.

He read under the shade of the sycamore, taking a page right out of Adams book. Doing his best to ignore the other students, though he doubted Adam's choice of reading material and his choice of reading material would ever fall in line.

"Hey Hoss." _Oh no. _The boy kicked at his leg. He couldn't ignore that, though he pretended to. "Hoss." He kicked again, harder this time. The boy licked his palm and smeared it on his face. He wiped it away with his shoulder still trying to ignore him, but he could smell the boy's stinky breath in his nostrils. The dried saliva remained on his cheek. He felt himself getting angry. Kyle slapped at his head, then again. The heat rose in Hoss's face but he stifled it cooly. The other boys stared on. He yanked Hoss's hair back.

~.~

Little Joe runs to Hoss. A passive squeeze and he brushes past. He heads towards his room and shuts the door. "Hoss," Ben taps on the door. "Are you going to join us for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry. I'm just going to go to bed."

"I don keya what that boy says. He comin down with somethin. He no eat dinner. Twee days.

Ben knocked on the door before opening it. Hoss turned himself to face the wall. He was crying.

"What's the matter son? Are you feeling alright?"

"Nothing Pa. I'm just tired. I just want to sleep."

"Are you missing Adam?"

"I don't want to talk, Pa. Just leave me alone." He pushed him away.

"Alright son. But I'm here if you need me." He looked down in defeat and closed the door between them.

"Numbah two son sick?"

"No I don't think so."

"What do you think wong with Numbah 2 son?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I have an idea."

~.~

The three were waiting for him in the yard and his face lit up.

"Little Feather?"

"Hi Horse." Hoss jumped from his horse with excitement. He was astounded to see his friends there. Crazy to see his two worlds meet.

"What are you doing here?"

"Your farder invited us. He was astounded. Ecstatic that he no longer had to hide them from his pa.

"Hey Joe, this is Little Feather and that's Walks Like Bear and Young Wolf." He introduced them to his brother, not even thinking that introductions were likely made already before he came in. He wasn't sure how long they'd been there. Joe giggled.

"Horse? His names not Horse." He corrected. "It's Hoss." Little Feather was confused.

"It's alright Little Joe. I don't mind them calling me Horse."

"You are not Horse?" Little Feather asked.

"No, I'm Hoss." He explained.

"I've never heard that name before."

"It comes from the Smokey Mountains. It means Friendly."

"Hoss. The name fits you." He considered it. "Hoss. Why didn't you correct us before?"

"Well, I guess I was just too shocked to correct you. Plus I didn't think I'd ever see you again so what did it matter? When I did see you again, you already thought my name was Horse so I let it be."

"Do you want us to call you Hoss?"

"I don't mind if you call me Horse." Little Feather saw through him. Hoss liked the idea of having an Indian name.

"Alright Horse." Little Feather asserted. "That's your name. You are Horse to us." Hoss smiled widely. "Horse can I ask you something else?"

"Sure." Little Feather leaned into him.

"What is a Joe?"

"What?"

"What is a Joe?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I am a Little Feather, from bird. I am feather that is little. You are Hoss. Friend. You have brother that is joe. A joe that is little. What is a joe?" Hoss smiled broadly. Joe who overheard the question giggled.

"_I'm_ a Joe." He answered animatedly and giggled some more. Little Feather didn't understand but accepted the answer albeit hesitantly. He left it alone.

"Boy's, go get washed up." His Pa said from the doorway. Ben looked at his son with a proud smile. "I thought they might like to join us for dinner."

They sat around the table with roast beef and mashed potatoes between them. Ben lowered his head in prayer and Little Joe and Hoss joined in.

"Napidzia." They heard from Young Wolf. He was talking to his brothers. "Nanisuduhe." Little Feather and Walks Like Bear mimicked what their host were doing. When all three had folded their hands and lowered their heads Ben continued.

It was weird to watch them at the table. They were respectful though they didn't know much about eating at a table. They did their best to learn and fit in. When they'd filled their bellies with Hopsing's delicious cooking, the plates were taken away and a bowl of brown swirl was put before them. The natives were more concerned than excited. Hoss and Joe dug in right away and the boys were horrified. They looked to Young Wolf for guidance. Young Wolf who told them to be respectful at the beginning of the meal. Who was also not eating his poop. Would he force them to eat theirs? Hoss noticed their hesitation.

"What's the matter? Ain't you ever had pudding before?" They were worried. "It's good. It's just chocolate." Young Wolf dipped the tip of his spoon in and touched it lightly to his tongue. He played with what little was there and nodded in approval.

"It's good." Little Feather was the next to try and excitedly approved. Walks Like Bear thought his brothers were crazy and sat looking perplexed and horrified.

"It's ok. Eat. It's good." Young Wolf said.

"Yeah, it's not bad." Little Feather encouraged.

"Kwedapu." Walks Like Bear answered back. Little Feather snickered and Young Wolf shot him a cross look.

"What? What am I missing?" Hoss asked.

"He thinks this is poop." Came Little Feather's giggled response. Hoss looked down at his own bowl. He'd never thought about that before. How close it does look like it. He and Little Joe burst out together. Ben couldn't help but hide his own snickers. "It's not poop. It's chocolate." Little Feather said in his own language. Feeling a bit like the butt of a joke, Walks Like Bear dipped his spoon into it and touched it to his tongue letting it sit there. He didn't quite get enough to taste anything. He dipped his spoon again. A little more this time and let it sit on his tongue, the others saw the moment he tasted it. His eyes lit up and smile broadened. He went in for a heaping spoonful and filled his mouth with it.

"He likes it." Little Feather announced. They all laughed, digging into their own servings and eating their fill. Walks Like Bear even asked for seconds.

When supper had ended, Ben sat inside working at his desk letting the boy's play outside.

"How's school?" Little Feather asked as they walked placidly through the yard. The stars like the souls of heaven looked down upon them.

"Nothing's changed."

Walks Like Bear played with Little Joe on the porch. Though years older it appeared as if he was legitly entertained by the small tyke. Joe raised his doll up and crashed it into his small wooden train which brought a smile to Walks Like Bear. He was very entertained with the toys Joe had in particular the raggedy doll which Joe presented with pride.

Young Wolf busied himself with his horse letting his brothers have their fun but finding little else to entertain himself with as he waited for the hour to come to leave the Whiteman's ranch. The nostalgia of the ranch was lost on him with the years past. He remembers the times being at that table before and being in this yard romping around with Cartwright's oldest, when they were both as small as the youngest is now. He remembers how fascinated he was in the Whiteman's ways as a child but with years come knowledge and unfortunately he knew too much now about them and their ways that repulsed him. Cartwright wasn't like most however. He knew that much and he knew he raised his boys to be different too. Unfortunately, they weren't the majority and the majority had the tendency to speak the loudest. His little brothers or cousins as Horse would say were very much in the moment. The nostalgia of the place still new and fresh to them. One day it would change for them too. As they grew and learned, they too would see the ugliness. They have yet to see war. The tribe protected them from that. But they would grow and whether they liked it or not war would come to them. One day they would be forced to fight. The Whiteman would bring war to them as they have the other tribes. He could protect them now while they were young, but they were growing, and the day would come he feared that he would no longer be able to protect them.

"Why you don't tell father what is happening?"

"My older brother knew. He tried to help. Every time he stepped in, it just got worse. If I tell my pa, it'll just get worse." Little Feather chewed on this.

"Just remember what we said. Sometimes you have to fight." Young Wolf overheard Little Feather's advice. Little Feather was all too eager to flex his muscles as scrawny as they were. He's been in some scrapes before with his other brothers in the tribe. He could hold his own pretty good against his other brothers. For that reason he thinks he's ready for war but Young Wolf knew the poor thing still had years to go.

"I don't think my father would be too happy if he caught me fighting." Young Wolf couldn't help but smile at Horse's response. If only their people had that option. But then again maybe that wasn't really an option for Horse either. He just thinks it is.

In the dark shadows beyond the trees there were eyes watching them. McCabe decided to ride out to confront the ranch owner personally regarding his crooked business dealings but stopped at the site of the native boys. Their presence at the home was curious. Were they servants or was their relation to the ranch owner more ominous than that? Did they have something to do with his dirty dealings?

~.~

The warm water reawakened his open cuts at first but after a moment numbed them. He found the water soothing. After sinking down into his thoughts he recalled the hours prior.

"Sally get out." He heard in his head as he recalled the memories. The most recent wounds still too fresh to ignore. Sally whose father owned the livery and whose older sister Amanda sat behind Kyle in school did as she was ordered. The two boys cornered Hoss. Kyle ripped the reigns from his hand. The day had been particularly hard. The torment through the day didn't seem to be all that different than the rest but when Kyle and Travis cornered him in the stable after school things took an ugly turn.

At first it was just Sally and he in there. Then when the boys entered they forced Sally away. He knew Sally wasn't going to do nothing to stop them. If her older sister would never do anything there was no way the little one would. Somehow though it gave him comfort having her around. Just having a witness kept them in check. Did it though? The other kids in his class saw things all the time and never stopped them. Sometimes they would even join in. This time though it wasn't just in his imagination. It _was_ worse. They didn't just hit him with fist. Travis picked up a rake and use the handle to strike him when he was on his knees. Kyle found a leather strap and whipped him with it. They beat him like he'd seen men beat rabid dogs.

Why did it have to be him? Why did they hate him so much? Was he really that ugly? Was he really that stupid that he couldn't be treated as a regular human being. He had never before been so close to breaking down upon seeing his Pa when he came into the house. But once again he was able to hold in his tears until he was in the comforts of his own room. He cried now as he let the warm water surround him. He sunk down into the darkness and let it overtake him.

Joe broke him from his pity, starling him as he barges through the door.

"Get out!" Hoss shouted, startling the tyke right back. The boy drew his eyes down to Hoss's bare chest. Hoss looked down at what caught his brother's attention. Having no way to cover his shame he yelled again, louder. "I said, Get Out!" Little Joe was frightened and ran away. The rest of the night, Little Joe didn't bring it up to Hoss what he had seen. Hoss didn't like talking about it before, it didn't seem now would be any different. If he knew better it was best to stay out of his way when he was like this. Hoss didn't bring it up either. They spent that night not saying two words to each other.

~.~

Hoss had left for school hours ago. Joe sat playing uncharacteristically quiet like, with his doll on the living room floor as Ben sat at the desk, reading contracts and crunching numbers, going over the budgets of years past. Finally Little Joe sets down his doll and comes over to his pa. Without asking for permission he climbs into his father's lap seemingly unaware of his important work. Unaware or doesn't care? Ben chortled.

"What is it Little Joe? I'm working." The boy lays his chestnut curls into his father's chest and says nothing. His father strokes his hair and plants a kiss. He loves these little moments. The moments that remind him of what being a father is all about. He picked up his pen and continued on, working around the boy in his lap.

"Pa?" Joe finally said, sounding every bit of the tot he was.

"Yeah son." He kept his focus on his papers.

"How'd Hoss get hurt?"

"What do you mean?" He asked barely registering the question.

"The bruises Pa." Ben stopped. What did he just say?

"What bruises?"

"The ones on his belly." He was deep set with concern.

"I don't know son. I didn't even know he had bruises on his belly."

"Oh yes Pa. They're everywhere." He put down the pen and turned Joe to look at him.

"What do they look like?"

"They're all kinds of different colors." He went off in his head, as he described them. "Some are green and yellow and others are purple and red and blue."

"How many are we talking about?"

"A lot Pa." His son said expressively. "But I can't count. Hoss won't even let me look at them."

"When did you notice them?"

"Last night, when I walked in on him taking a bath." He turned Joe back and rested the boy's head against him. All of a sudden it became real for him. Something was happening to his boy and he didn't know what. "He had them before too."

"He did? When?"

"Before, when he pushed me and hurt my head." Ben shut his eyes. "Do you think that's what's making him mad at me?" This little boy doesn't know just how right he could be.

~.~

Again the teen comes home gives Joe as impassive a hug as was humanly possible and brushes his way past into his room. He saw something he hadn't seen before. It was in the way Hoss pushed Joe away. It was in the same manner he had many times before. But now he saw, now his eyes were finally open. Hoss was guarding his torso. Keeping Joe from touching him as little as possible. Why hadn't he seen this before? He didn't know before. He didn't really know now. He was going to know. He had to know. Not now. He let him be now, wondering what was going on in his head. What was he living through? He let him be until the table was set and the meal ready to be served. He gently rapped on his door. "You going to join us for dinner?"

"No thanks Pa." His voice strained, coming from his bed. He looked up at Hopsing who looked back with concern. His son was hurting. In ways he never could have imagined. In what ways he still didn't know.

When the house was dark and all was still, Ben snuck into the room his son's slept. He stared over the sleeping teen, holding a lantern soft and dim. He considered his options that day. He could have just come right out and asked him, but he's been so evasive lately, he didn't envision any good would come out of it; plus he figured if he was trying to hide it from Little Joe and he hadn't told anybody else it was probably something he didn't want anybody to know. Perhaps whatever the cause it was something he was ashamed of. He could force his son to show him, but he was afraid that would only drive the boy further away. Whatever it was he had to get an idea of what he was facing before he could even begin to address it. There was a large part of him that hoped upon hope he'd find nothing. Little Joe wasn't a liar. He was many things, but a liar wasn't one of them. He'd faced down the toughest situations and spoken truth. It's like lying wasn't in his blood. Mistaking on the other hand, that's another thing. He hoped upon hope that he was mistaking. That the little boy saw something else and his mind created the explanation for him. Only one way to know for sure. He stands at his son's bed side. He was facing the wall but even still he could tell his son's eyes were red and swollen like he'd been crying, like he'd cried himself to sleep. It broke the father's heart. He'd been doing that a lot lately. If what Little Joe says is true. Perhaps there was more to it than just missing Adam. Perhaps the source of his sadness, his strange behavior, stems from whatever is going on here. He shone the light down at his nightshirt to consider the task before him, then placed the lantern on the nightstand at Hoss's head. He shimmied the gown up and over the boy's waist, which wasn't easy to do without waking him. Hoss stretched out his feet forcing his father to stop. The boy relaxed again. Keeping his eyes closed, he adjusted and rolled himself over facing his father, and was once again in the deep clutches of sleep. Ben resumed pulling the gown over and shimming it up from underneath the weight of the boy's hips. He went as far as he could go without waking the boy. It gave him just enough give so that he can pull the top of the night shirt up revealing his son's torso. He could make out something. Shadows, discoloration. He reached for the lantern and drew it close. As the light illuminated the marks, he was horror stricken. Joe was right. His son's torso was covered in a multitude of coin sized bruises. They collected on the most tenderest areas, his abdomen taking the majority of the abuse, but not all. The bruises wrapped around the fleshy portion of his back. There were larger bruises too, these ones higher up. His ribcage and upper back bore bruises the size of biscuits. The darkest bruises indicating they were the newest were elongated. He was hit with something else. Portions of his skin rose and swelled in hot parallel strips. He was sickened at the sight. How could all of this have been going on and he not know. His sickness turned to anger.

His son drew a sharp breath in and shot his eyes open. He slapped at his father's hand and scooted away until his back hit the wall. It was then, that he started understanding where he was and who was before him. He was in his room, before him his father looked down with a lantern in his hand. He still didn't know why. He stared at him with questioning gaze before realizing his night gown had made its way above his waist. He shimmied it down wondering if his father had seen.

"What are you doing in here Pa?"

"How did you get those bruises?" He did see. He glanced at his nightgown. Why was he in here? Was it to see? How could he know? He looked past his father at his sleeping brother. He was hurt at the betrayal.

"Don't look at him. Look at me. How did you get those bruises?"

"I fell off my horse." He finally said. It seemed like the most likely excuse something so big it would explain all the bruises. But nothing too much to cause his father to worry.

"How many times?" He wasn't buying it. "Son, those bruises didn't happen all at the same time. How did you get the bruises?"

"I don't know."

"Don't give me, you don't know. You do know. Tell me. How did you get them?"

"I don't know." He said emphatically.

"Son."

"Please Pa." He backed himself until he was in a sitting position.

"Don't "Please Pa" me. Tell me."

"I can't." He felt the tears forming. He scrunched his face to fight them off, but they refused to yield. He hid his face within his palms as they fell.

Ben knelt to his son. His voice was gentle now. "Has somebody been doing this to you?" He shook his head in his palms. It wasn't so much of a no as it was, avoidance to answer. "Hoss." He took hold of his wrist and lowered his hands, forcing his son to face him. "Son, has somebody been hurting you?"

His face contorted. He buries his face in his pillow to hide the tears. He couldn't bare for his father to see his shame.

"Is it the kids at school?" He touches his shoulder.

"Just go away!" Hoss spurned vehemently. He hit a nerve. He was on to something. He looked over his shoulder at Joseph to see if he would wake at Hoss's outburst. The boy rolled over but remained dead to the world.

Ben wasn't going to give in to his son pushing him away, not when he knew he needed him. He crawls over his son and situates himself Indian style with his back against the wall, pulling his son into his lap. Hoss turns himself and buries his face into his Pa. "Talk to me son. Tell me what's happening." No words came, only tears. His shoulders convulsing as he wept. Perhaps no words had to. He knew now all he needed to.

He thought about his strange behavior lately. His avoidance to be seen undressed. Ben thought his need for privacy was a sign of maturity, or at least he may have become more uncomfortable with his appearance. His shortness with Hopsing at the dinner table and his anger at being called fat. This led him to believe Hoss was unhappy with the way he saw himself. He never thought to ask himself, why all of a sudden he would be so conscious of his appearance. The signs were there, if he just cared enough to notice. The boy was starving himself so he would look more normal, more like the other kids, hoping that would be enough to make the abuse stop. When he gave in to feeding his body, he hated himself for his weakness. His affinity to nature, his avoidance to people. His eagerness to perform back breaking work rather than focus on his education. His struggles with learning. His outburst towards the ones he loves, the ones he was closest to. Him getting physical with Little Joe. His peaceful countenance when he was skipping school. His unbridled temper when he wasn't. Hoss was telling him everything he needed to know. He was just too busy to listen.

An hour later when the boy was all cried out and exhaustion had taken over the two of them, he laid down next to his son wrapping his arm around him. This was how they'd spent the rest of the night.

~.~

It was still dark in the room when Ben woke, but rays were peeking over from behind the hills as the morning sun was fighting its way up. Both boys were still sleeping. He pushed himself up, not wanting to wake them. He was sure Hoss would be more ashamed to face him if he'd woken up to find his pa in bed with him, remembering how he wept. He was glad it was him that woke up first. He wanted to save his son that embarrassment. He thought about the day to come. He'd had a lot of responsibilities that day. A whole day planned out for him, but somehow none of them seemed important to him now. He had to find out what was happening to his son and put a stop to it.

Hoss felt his pa get up from his bed. In fact this was what woke him. He pretended like he was still asleep. He was too ashamed to face him. Too ashamed to face the day. The day was going to be different. He wasn't sure how, but he knew, with his father knowing that somehow it was. He wondered how his father found out. If it was the sleeping boy across the room, or if there was another way his dad might have known. What other way? How else could he have figured it out? He'd been doing his best to not let the bruises affect him. Pretend like they weren't even there. He hadn't been walking around the house playing the victim. How else could he have found out? There was no other way. It had to be Little Joe. He's the only one who knew. Trouble was, Hoss didn't know how mad he was supposed to be at the little tyke. He guessed it depended on how the day turned out. Would things get better for him, or worse?

His pa was gone by the time he did get out of bed, leaving special instructions to Hopsing to care for them and get them off on their morning routines. He was glad for it. He wasn't sure how he was going to face his Pa after last night. At least he'd have some time to recover first. As it was, facing Little Joe and Hopsing was strange enough. Little Joe had gotten up before him which wasn't the normal way of things as the little boy had a tendency to sleep in. Hoss didn't sleep in though. Truth be told, he'd been awake ever since his father left. He'd been lying in bed staring at the sleeping boy. When Little Joe did get up, he'd closed his eyes to mimic sleep and stayed like that until Joe had dressed and left the room. Unaware that his Pa had already left the house he stayed in bed until the last possible moment. Now he was up and dressed to discover with relief that his pa was gone and Hopsing and Little Joe staring at him both with weird looks on their faces. At first he didn't understand why, unless his father told them both. Would he have? He didn't really understand until he felt the burn in his eyes as if he was still tired, but it wasn't a tired sting. It was an, I stayed up half the night crying, sting. He rubbed at his face. It was still puffy, his eyes were still swollen. Oh he could imagine the sight of him. His lunch had been wrapped up and sat at the edge of the table waiting for him. Hopsing had gotten used to Hoss not joining them for breakfast and trying to walk out without lunch. He had adjusted for that and had it already prepared and waiting for him, so the boy would have no excuse not to take it.

"Thanks." He picked up the package and walked out.

~.~

"Have kids been picking on my son?"

"They all get picked on from time to time. Kids do that."

"How bad does it get?"

"What?"

"How bad do they pick on him? How bad does it get?"

"Oh you know, kids can be kids?"

"What does that mean? Kids can be kids?"

"Kids can be mean."

"Has it ever gotten physical?"

"Well…I don't know." Ms. Harper shrugged her shoulders and brushed past him, avoiding to answer.

"Well has it? Or hasn't it?"

"From time to time, maybe."

"How often is, 'from time to time?'"

"I don't know, Ben." He was getting quite frustrated with her apathetic responses.

"Well what are you doing to stop it?"

"When I see it happening I put an end to it."

"How often do you see it happen?"

"I don't know. From time to time."

He held his anger in check. "Why haven't I been told about this?"

"It's never been anything that bad. Mr. Cartwright, kids get teased. It's a part of growing up. If I went and told on every kid, every time he did anything wrong, nothing would ever get done."

"This isn't a little teasing. There are bruises all over his body."

"Well I don't know nothin' about that."

"Isn't it your job to know?"

"It's my job to teach these kids."

"While these kids are in your care, it is your job to look out for them."

"Mr. Cartwright, I've got 20 kids in my care. You've got 3. Are you going to stand here and tell me nothing's ever happened to those boys of yours while they were in your care?" His face burned. "My kids range from 6 years old to 15. I do the best I can. I'm sorry to say that I may spend more time watching after the younger ones than I do the older's, but at their age they need more lookin' out for. I have a little more trust in my older kids to do what is right."

"Meanwhile, my son is covered in bruises."

"If you can tell me who's doing it, I can make sure I put a stop to it."

"If you don't know who's doing it, how should I know?"

"Didn't he tell you?" Suddenly her demeanor changed. She enveloped an air of superiority. "Did he even tell you it was happening here? He could have gotten those bruises anywhere."

"He spends seven hours a day here. Where else would he get them?"

"I don't know, maybe at your house."

"Don't you think I'd know if he was getting them at my house?" His anger could no longer be bridled. "You listen to me!" He demanded with an accusing finger. "Either you put a stop to it, or I will!"

Hoss saw his father storm out of the schoolhouse irately slapping his hat against his leg before donning it. Kyle and Travis and a few others were already there in the school yard to watch his father storm away. Kyle shot Hoss a smug look.

Ms. Harper started the days lesson with an exhort. "Children, I have something important to say. It has come to my attention that there might be some bullying happening here." Hoss sunk down in his chair. "I want you to know, that this ends today. If I find out about one student laying hands on another, your parents are going to find out."

The students whispered about him as he walked by. He knew it was about him by the way they pointed and stared. Ms. Harper spent their rest periods standing on the school house steps, arms crossed, staring out onto the courtyard. It was uncomfortable for Hoss to say the least. He didn't know if this was better or worse. At least no one struck him and no one did. He went the entire day without so much as a cross word. He wondered how long this would last.

~.~

"Hoss! Hey Hoss! Wait up. We want to talk to you." _Oh no. _They strode next to him on either side as he guided his horse along the lonely road towards home. "Hey Hoss, did you tell on us?" He sunk his head.

"I knew it. I told you Kyle. I told you he told on us."

"What's the matter Hoss? You can't fight your own battles? Adam's not here to protect you no more so you got to go running to Pa?"

"I got an idea. Why don't you have Little Joe start coming to school? Maybe he can start fighting your battles too." He was hurt at how weak they saw him. They were right. He was weak.

"You think that school is the only place we can get to you. We both ride this same road every day. Stable our horses in the same place. We can get ya any time, any place. You hear me. Look at me when I'm talking to you." Hoss kicked his horse ahead. Travis went to follow but Kyle held him back. Kyle jumped down from his horse and scoured the ground. He found what he was looking for. A perfect grey rock about the size of his fist. He gave Travis a sly smile. He wasn't going to throw this one half-cocked. He was going to make it count. He drew back and chucked it as hard as he could making sure it could make the distance.

It made contact with the back of Hoss's thick skull. His own reaction spooked the horse which sent his steed into a trollop. The pain was almost enough to make him pass out but he had to hang on or he'd fall right off his horse and make matters even worse. The trollop scared him at first, but once he got control he went with it riding his horse back to the house.

The trollop meant there was trouble. Hoss and all the hands knew not to be riding in like that unless there was something wrong. This had been set in stone after Marie's passing and Joe developing his fear of horses. He didn't create this rule just to pacify Joe though. This was for his own peace of mind. So his heart wouldn't be set into an uproar every time a hand got restless, like it was now. This had better be something real. What was he saying? He'd rather the opportunity to chew someone out than to be attending to some real emergency.

His son slid from his horse languorously as he opened the door. His collar was meddled in blood. He ran to his son.

"Oh God Hoss, What happened?" Hoss held the back of his head. The blood seeped through his fingers. The whole back of his shirt was soaked in it. "Hopsing, Hopsing get out here now!" It was as if he'd been shot, but that didn't make since. You can't get shot in the head and still be walking around. He looked at the wound as they walked, feeling the sight. There was no hole. The skin though gummy and sticky moved about in ways it shouldn't. He was hit by something blunt. Hopsing appears in the doorway. "Hopsing, Hoss has been hurt. Get us some towels." Hopsing disappears from the door. Ben guides his son to the settee. Hopsing comes back with fresh towels and a wash basin. "Go into town for the Doc." He nods and scurries off. "Son, who did this to you? How'd this happen?" Joe stands at the edge of the room watching his Pa and brother who's covered in blood. "Hoss you have to talk to me. This has gone too far." His son responded with more silence. "Damn it boy!" He cursed. "Your stubborn silence is going to get you killed."

His father cursed. He never curses. His father was more upset than he could have imagined. He had to answer. He had to give him something. If nothing else than a reason why he can't tell him.

"It's never going to stop." He finally blurted.

"Son, it will stop. It can stop if you just talk to me. Tell me who's doing this. I'll make it stop."

"I know you think you can Pa, but that just ain't the way it is."

~.~

Hours later the doc exits the boy's bedroom. "He's sleeping now. I gave him a sedative."

"How is he?"

"He doesn't have a concussion. Thankfully his skull is still intact. I know it looked scarier than it is. Head wounds have a tendency to really bleed."

"I know how head wounds work. I was in the Navy remember? But let's face it, what happened to my son is scary. That boy could have been killed today. Did you look at his torso?"

"After he was a sleep, I took a look."

"and?"

"Well, medically speaking, not a one of his injuries is serious enough to cause any real damage. They're all subcutaneous hematomas. Bruising and swelling just under the surface of the skin."

"But they're all over."

"I saw that Ben. Some weeks old. There is definitely something happening to him."

"Oh that's an understatement."

"and it appears to have been happening to him for some time."

"How much time?"

"It's difficult to say, but with bruising like that, that only takes weeks to heal, that's all I have to go by. I couldn't say for sure if there have been more bruises prior to the ones we're seeing or not. All I have to go by is what I can see. Have you tried talking to him? Maybe asking him directly?"

"Of course I have. What kind of a fool do you take me for? The boy won't open up to me."

"Mmm. He's probably feeling a lot of shame."

"Shame? What does my boy have to be ashamed of? It's those boys that should be ashamed. The ones that are doing this to him."

"You remember what it was like to be young Ben? Haven't you ever been picked on? Been in any fights as a kid? Maybe he's ashamed that whatever is happening to him he's unable to stop."

"He's been acting out, a lot lately. Getting physical with Joe. Snapping at the rest of us."

"It makes sense." Ben gave his friend a cross look. "I know it doesn't seem right." Paul justified. "You might ask yourself, why he's not taking it out on the ones that are doing this. I don't have all the answers for you. What I can say is, he feels safe here. This is a safe environment for him to vent his frustrations. He's got a lot of emotions he's dealing with. A lot of misplaced anger at what's happening to him. He's taking it out on Joe and the rest of you, instead at the ones that are doing this to him, because he feels safe to do so."

"What do I do, Doc? I tried to stop it. I tried to help him and then this happens. What do I do?"

"Are you asking me as a doctor or as a friend?"

"If you've got any advice whatsoever please tell me."

"As a doctor, I'd say keep him home for the next couple of days. Try to get him to open up to you. If for no other reason than his own mental well-being. He needs to work on not bottling things up. Having a safe outlet."

"And as a friend?"

"As a friend," He emitted a heavy sigh. This was difficult for him to say. "Ben, you know I don't condone fighting it goes against my very medical nature, but that boy needs to learn how to defend himself. He needs to stand up for himself. Sometimes Ben, that's the only way."

~.~

"Missah Cotwight want more coffee?"

"No, thank you. This is enough."

"Missa Cotwight want me stay up?"

"No Hopsing, get some rest. We've got to have an early start tomorrow."

"Is Missah Cotwight get west?"

"I'll go to bed in a little bit."

"Missah Cotwight have a lot on mind. Would Missah Cotwight like to talk about it?"

"No, thank you. You go get some rest." Hopsing excused himself and went back into the kitchen leaving the ranch owner with his thoughts. He returns a moment later with two steaming cups in hand. Placing one before Ben before taking a seat at the opposite end of the table.

"Missah Cotwight have lot on mind. Not west until he talk." Ben chortled at his friend.

"Come on Missah Cotwight, you say it to me. Wha's on yo mind? Unless you want to be just as stubbon as numbah two son. You think about boy?"

"Yeah, I just don't know what to do. I wish I could help him but I don't know how. I can't be there with him all the time. He tried coming to me several months ago asking me to take him out of school. At the time, I thought education was the most important thing. That was before I knew all this was happening. He's happy here. He gets along with the hands. They love having him around. It's like he fits in more with adults than kids his own age."

"Gwoan ups moe mature. Gwoan ups not hut son like childwen hut son."

"Should I take him out of school? Is that really the only way?"

"Thay may be otha way. You could teach that boy how to fight."

"This is Hoss we're talking about. Him and Adam would go at it all the time. Half the time he'd get Adam down."

"That is fo play, Missah Cotwight need teach son how hit fo will."

"I don't get it. What is the difference?"

"The diffwence not in fist. It in heya." He said pointing to his heart. "and in heya." Pointing to his head. "Hoss, sweet boy. Fighting not in hawt. Not boy's naichuh. Saving buttafly fwom dwouning in boy's naichuh."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"Nothin wong with kindness. Unless it kills you."

~.~

Following Hopsing's and Martin's advice, Ben kept his son home until his wound closed up. A week went by until Ben found it was safe enough to address it.

"How you feeling son?"

"Better."

"Your head still hurt?"

"Not my whole head. Only back here where it hit me."

"Get yourself dressed and come outside." He did as he was told. A moment later standing before his father in the courtyard.

"Son, I want to teach you how to fight."

"I know how to fight, Pa. Adam and me fought all the time."

"You two wrestled. You didn't fight. Not real fighting."

"We threw punches too."

"but not for real."

"Dad, he taught me. He taught me how to stand, how to hold my fist, how to keep myself protected. He taught me how to move and keep my feet to keep balance and stability. He even taught me to follow through when I punch. He taught me."

"Then why don't you." His son looked hurt.

"What?"

"Why don't you fight? Why don't you defend yourself? You could take any one of those boys, or all of them, all at once if you wanted to. What's stopping you?"

"I don't know Pa. I guess I thought you'd be mad at me."

"Be mad at you? For what? For this? For defending yourself? Listen son, you know I don't condone fighting. Not when there's a better way of handling it. It's barbaric and there's a more civilized way of handling our differences. But sometimes son, you won't have a choice to handle them civilized like. I'd be mad if you went around starting fights, but this is different. They are hurting you. I can't stop it. I wish I could. Adam can't stop it. No, the only one who could make it stop is you. They are hurting you and you could stop it. With one blow, you could make it stop."

"Are you ashamed of me Pa?"

"Oh, son. I'm so proud of you it hurts."


	7. Chapter 7 Monster

**Chapter**

Monster

"Hoss…Hey, Hoss."

"Hoss. Look at me."

"Hey Hoss."

"Hoss. Coward."

"Hoss."

He barked. "What?" He snapped. They smirked in satisfaction, finally getting the response they were looking for.

"I know why your dad's an Indian lover. They're dirty and smelly and ugly, just like you."

"Ms. Harper." Leta, Malvet's younger sister, runs in. "Come quick. It's Hoss." She follows Leta out of the class, seeing a crowd of boys beating on another student. Hoss on his hands and knees as the boys beat at his back. Hoss wasn't moving he wasn't trying to protect himself. He was staring at the ground beneath him. He did nothing to ward off the blows. Between the mounds of kids, she noticed there was something underneath him, or rather someone. He was holding someone down. This person beneath him being his sole focus. He reacted none to the onslaught of blows. The children parted as she approached, giving her clear view of the child he held beneath him. Not held. Choked. His hands were around the kid's throat.

The boy beneath him was terror-stricken as he struggled to pry the large hands away, struggled to breathe; but Hoss's grip was unrelenting. Focus unmerciful.

He didn't even look like he was the same boy. The typically mild mannered boy wasn't there. His mind was absent. His body was acting outside the presence of his mind. _Oh My God._

"Hoss!" She tried to snap him back. He couldn't hear her. "What are you doing?" There was fear and accusation in her voice. Fear and accusation he was deaf to. He heard nothing but his blood swooshing in his own ears with every pulse. "Get off of him! You're killing him." She pulled the other boys away so it was just the Cartwright and the boy in his grasp whose face was dangerous shades of purple. Eyes bulging as he stared wildly at his destroyer. She yanked at Hoss's arm and he didn't budge. She sured her footing and steadied her hold. With all her might she pulled Hoss's arm slowly away from the boy's neck. Hoss unwittingly relinquishing his grip.

Realizing he was losing his hold, he swung his body to shake off the intrusion. That's what he was trying to do. What happened though was much worse than he could ever imagine. Somehow his elbow made contact with his teacher's right eye. It was this connection that brought him back. He came to, as she stumbled backwards and hit the ground in a daze. She stared at him with the same hurt and fear as was in his little brothers eyes the night he'd lost his temper with him. Her eye watery and red and already beginning to swell.

His world came crashing down as the realization flooded in. The unthinkable just happened. He'd hit a girl. Not even one that was trying to do him any harm. He just hauled off and hit a woman. A hero woman, who was trying to save a life. The life of a boy he was trying to take. He looked at the boy convulsing at every cough beneath the weight of him as he struggled to pull in air. The marks where his fingers had encircled the boy's neck, remnant. Evidence of his offences. _What kind of monster had I become?_ She saw it too. In the way she stared at him. They all saw it. They weren't looking at an innocent boy. They stared at a monster. Frankenstein's monster. They were frightened of him. They weren't looking at Hoss, that innocent boy too sweet to hurt a dragonfly. They were looking at Hoss, the monster, willing to take a boy's life. He was the same boy they knew yesterday. Except he wasn't. Something had changed. This place had turned him into something he didn't want to be. He sat back frightened, granting the injured boy his freedom. He was frightened of who he became and frightened of them, at what they'd do to him because of it. He just needed to get away. He jumped off the boy and bee-lined for the gape in the wooden fence.

"Hoss!" His teacher called to him. He never looked back. "Go get the Sheriff." Was the last thing he heard her say as he exited the schoolyard. A chill ran through him. Does this make him a criminal? A wanted fugitive. Oh, how one action had made him a bad guy. It wasn't enough for him to leave school. He had to leave town. He couldn't go home. The Sheriff would find him there. He didn't know where else to go. He could live in the mountains like a Wildman. One thing he knew about the law though, they would eventually catch up with him. A thirteen year old boy would never be a match for them. He wished he had a friend that could protect him. Hide him out for a while. Young Wolf. He thought. As quickly as he'd ever done in his life, he saddled his horse and bee-lined for the outskirts of town.

~.~

Kyle was sitting in the shade of the schoolhouse steps. The other students gathered around him. Ms. Harper sitting at his side with her arm around his back, offering him comfort. The boy held his own throat looking injured and shamed. When Roy arrived, upon realizing the basis for his beckoning, his first action was to get the injured child to the doc. He walked on one side, Ms. Harper on the other as they guided the boy there. The students followed behind. Marge ran on up ahead to inform the doc they were coming. The Doc met the small crowd outside his door and helped the child in.

Sherriff Roy and Doctor Martin were both hard-pressed to believe Hoss was the aggressor, though the evidence was right before them, in the form of large purple fingerprints around the boy's neck, eye witness statements from the student's as well as the teacher and most damming of all, Hoss's departure.

Doctor Martin examines the boy as the excited children tell all of what had just happened. The picture they painted of Hoss, it was not looking very good for him at all. "Can I speak to you outside?" Doctor Martin had to say something. He had to step in on behalf of the sweet boy. His friend's son. He left the gathering altogether in the exam room and stepped out with the Sherriff.

"What is it? Is it serious?"

"No, no. I don't think so. It's about Hoss."

"What about?"

"I was summoned to the Ponderosa a week ago." Doc Martin told the story of Hoss's head injury and recapped all the marks he had seen on the boy. He even admitted as hard as it was the advice he'd given to the troubled father. With this new insight. Roy felt the best way to get any real information from the students was to separate them from the injured boy. He left the doctor alone to care for him and directed the small crowd to follow him down the street to the jailhouse. Once there he asked them directly. He wanted to hear from their mouths all they knew.

The students looked about each other. A few seemed eager to speak but none wanted to break the unspoken pact. It was 14 year old, Sally, that stepped forward. When she broke the ice the other students followed suit. They described the constant bullying that Hoss was subjected to. How long he's been dealing with it and how bad it's gotten this year. The other boys pointed to Kyle and Travis as the main aggressors. Travis who was in the room with them stood guiltily with his arms crossed and head low.

He's heard about all he's needed to hear. One thing was for sure, Roy knew he had to find the boy. First things first. He had to retrieve the father of the injured child. It's been long enough, the father would want to be there for his son. He left Deputy Williams in charge of taking official witness statements and directed Deputy Brown to ride from house to house and inform the other parents to retrieve their children.

~.~

Kyle's father lived just on the outskirts of town, just off the same lonely stretch of road that it took to get to the Cartwright's ranch house. There were heavy prints in the ground appearing to be from a running steed. He imagined it was Hoss's. It troubled him not to continue on following them. He wanted to get started finding Hoss right away, but his first priority had to be to get the father of the injured boy to his son. He turned his horse off the road and guided it down Steep Pine Road. Kyle's father stood in the doorway wiping the dirt from his face and arms with a damp cloth, appearing scruffy and worn assumingly from a hard day's labor in the sun. McCabe was none too pleased to learn about his sons attack and followed Sherriff Coffee into town to his son's bedside.

The Sherriff stopped back into the jailhouse before continuing out. Jim was still out riding from house to house informing the parents of the incident that took place so they could retrieve their children from the jailhouse. Most of the kids had gone home. A few were left behind, including Harriet, still writing her statements. Ms. Harper though finished with hers, vowed to remain until the last student was gone. His young deputy was handling his part well. It was time to leave him and ride out to the Ponderosa.

Doc Martin stood back allowing the father to be with his son. His temper was brewing, getting hotter and hotter with each passing minute, regardless of the doctors attempts to inform the father of how inconsequential his son's injuries actually were. Finally the father asserted.

"I'm going to have a talk with Mr. Cartwright."

"Dad no." The boy grabbed at his father's arm.

"That boy's trouble."

"Please dad don't. It's my fault. I started it." Martin was astounded at the boy's declaration of guilt. The boy took responsibility over his own actions. He didn't expect him to do that. It seemed the boy was more concerned with keeping his father out of trouble than himself. The father who was renowned for his temper.

"Son, I don't care what you did." He disregarded his son's guilt. "He had no right to put his hands around your throat like that. That boy's a menace. He's got to be stopped."

"Mister McCabe." Doc. Martin tried to intervene. "Your sons hurting right now. He really needs you to be here for him."

"He's hurting because of that menace of a boy."

"Sir. The Sherriff is out there. Why don't you just let him handle it?"

"The Sherriff. You expect me to believe he'll actually do something. Him and Cartwright are best buds. Don't you know? He'd let anyone of them get away with murder." Now was probably not the time to mention his own close friendship with the Cartwright's. "Well, I'm not going to stand by and let that happen. No, that boy is going to pay for what he did to my son."

"Pa wait." The boy's pleas fell short as his father stormed out. Doctor Martin was at a cross roads. He hated to leave the boy alone but he had to get word out to the Sherriff somehow. He felt this could only mean trouble for the Cartwright's.

"Kyle." He knelt to him. "What do you think your pa meant when he said he was going to make Hoss pay?" Kyle couldn't answer. He didn't know himself just how far his father was capable of going. His dad wasn't like other dads. He knew his dad got angry sometimes. Angrier sometimes than it seemed other dads got. Sometimes it seemed he got angry over nothing. Like the smallest things would set him off. His pa rarely hit him though. Sometimes he would but every pa does that. Mostly he would just be subjugated to his demeaning words. When this would happen it wouldn't take long for his Pa to apologize. He'd hug him and tell him it wasn't his fault and even admit to him the real source of his anger. Sometimes it would be the ranch hands he was mad at. Sometimes the weather or the critters eating their yield. Lately the source of his anger were the Cartwright's who were taking the land right out from under him. If his yield had been greater it would have been him buying that land by the lake, not Ben Cartwright. They've been a regular source of his pa's anger a lot lately. That boy Hoss, as stupid as he was, was one day going to be better than him. He was going to be richer and have more land than he'd know what to do with. His father fumed at the thought that one day his own boy might have to work under them. Even if not directly, they would always be crushed by them. The Doc asked just one more question.

"Kyle, do you think that Hoss deserves punishment?" He considers his own part in this. Hoss's final blowup and everything he did to him that led him to this. How bad he'd actually allowed himself to get. He never saw himself as a monster before, but he was just waiting for Hoss to stand up and defend himself. He never did. All this time, he let him do this. It got worse and worse because he never stood up for himself. Until today. The kid lowered his eyes remorseful. He shook his head. No. He couldn't honestly say Hoss did deserve this. He didn't deserve what all he'd done to him and he certainly wouldn't deserve what his father might do. What that was he still didn't know. What his father might be capable of. "Kyle. I need you to wait here. Can you do that?"

"Where are you going?" It pained him to tell the boy.

"I have to let the Sherriff know what your father is doing."

"Please don't hurt him."

"Roy's not going to want to hurt him. If we don't try to intervene, your father might get hurt. Do you understand?" He thought about it and nodded. "I have to go." He gave him silent permission. "I need you to wait here. Don't go anywhere. I won't be gone long." He nodded obediently.


	8. Chapter 8 Cause and Effect

**Chapter**

Cause and Affect

The Doc walked the short distance to the jailhouse. The Deputy saw the figure in the doorway with a concerned look.

"What is it Doc?" He greeted. Ms. Harper who stood against the far wall, stiffened her gait at the doc's presence. _Oh no. Something went wrong. _The young, blonde, freckled faced girl, hair in pig tails; sat at the desk, with a stack of papers before her also looked up alarmed. The tail she was weaving was a long one. She was telling all. "How's the boy doing?" Williams asked

"He's good. He's got some bruising. His throat's going to be a little sore for a few days, but otherwise, he's alright." Ms. Harper relaxed her gait pleased with the news.

"That's a relief." Williams returned. "The Sheriff is going to be mighty glad to hear it."

"Actually, there's something else."

"What is it?"

"Is the Sheriff here?"

"No he rode out right after he got back. He only stopped in a few minutes to see how things were carrying on. He left here, there abouts thirty minutes or so ago, to the Ponderosa."

Martin bore a troubled look. The deputy nodded subtly, bidding him to speak.

"Mr. McCabe is on his way to the Cartwright's." William's glanced back at the teacher trying to comprehend. "He said he wanted to make sure the boy paid for what he did." Ms. Harper stiffened again.

"Oh, this can't be good. I got to get out there." He said as he grabbed his hat from the desk. "Jim's on his way up. Let him know the situation." He directed the doc. "I'm going to see if I can meet up with Roy." He hated to leave the jailhouse under the supervision of civilians but his options were limited.

"Actually I've got to get back to Kyle. He's still in my office."

"I'll stay." Ms. Harper offered before Deputy William's had too much time to deliberate on it. "I'll let him know." The doc would have been the better of the options, never mind that he was a pacifist and didn't even carry a weapon. Ms. Harper didn't carry either, but she was a girl. That's why he would it rather have been Doc. He was a man. It should have been a man, but he had his own job to do. He understood the need for him to get back to his patient. Besides he didn't expect Jim to be gone too much longer. Sally's parents owned the general store in town. He expected he was on his way with them now. The young deputy reluctantly agreed and rushed past the Doc.

He swung onto his horse, turned then kicked his horse into a gallop away from the jailhouse.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay here by yourself?" The doc asked.

"I'll be fine."

"If you need me, I'm just down the street."

"I know." Martin smiled sympathetically and left the two alone. Harper felt a bit out of her league, but waited patiently with Sally for the alternate deputy to arrive. Nothing she's done so far seemed to be enough. She took on a lot of the guilt for how bad she'd allowed this to get. When the kids told the story to the Sheriff she was astounded at just how bad it was for Hoss. All this was happening under her nose. The father came to her and she dismissed him not believing herself it was as bad as all that. So much had come out and as Sally continued to write she thought about what all would continue to be revealed. Would the town judge her for this? Their trust in her would fall. They would think twice about sending their own children to school. Is there anything she could ever do to make up for the way she failed him?

~.~

"Ben." Sheriff Coffee stood at the doorway.

"What is it Sheriff?"

"I'm here about your son. Is he here?"

"Little Joe is here. Why?"

"Not Little Joe. Hoss. Is _he_ here?"

"No, Roy. He's at school. You know that."

"He's not at school." Ben felt a lump rise in his throat.

"Where is he?"

"Ben can we talk?"

"What's going on?"

"You mind if I come in?"

"Sure yeah, of course. Pardon my manners."

"Hey Little Joe." He tousled the boy's curls. "I was wondering if we could speak in private." Ben nodded then used Hopsing to take Little Joe away.

"What is it Roy? Tell me what's happening?"

"Something happened at the school today."

"Hopsing sat with Little Joe in the kitchen both chewing on leftover crumb cake. He did his best to keep the normally rambunctious child still and quiet. Preoccupying his mind. It wasn't so difficult a task as typical. The child cared just as much to listen in on the narrative of their friend, the Sheriff.

"We need to find him."

"Are you going to take him in?"

"I have to Ben. At least until we can get all this straightened out. See if McCabe wants to press charges."

"Press charges? Have you seen what they've been doing to my son?"

"I've heard about it. The children told me."

"Then you know that my son had to defend himself."

"He had no provocation. The other kids said he threw the first punch."

"Maybe this time. What about all the other times?"

"None of that matters. What matters now is this time. Did he have provocation to feel like he had to defend himself?"

"Of course he did."

"Not if he threw the first punch. The moment he did that, he became the aggressor."

"They have been tormenting my son since the beginning of the school year." Roy cleared his throat as if he knew something.

"What, Roy?"

"It might have been going on for longer than that."

"What do you mean? How long?"

"Years, maybe."

"Years? Where was Adam in all this?"

"Well, he was there Ben. Making sure it never got this bad. The kids have said this year has been the worst for Hoss because Adam hasn't been there. With Adam being gone, he hasn't been there to stop it."

"My God, why didn't he tell me? I could have been there to protect him. To stop it."

"When you found out about it, you tried to stop it."

"That's right. I went to his teacher and told her what was happening."

"And then it got worse."

"Yes. Yes, it did get worse. So you understand why this had to be done."

"Ben, I don't think you understand how serious this is."

"I don't think you understand how serious this is." He roared. Lifting himself from his chair. "They were tormenting my child for what you claim to be years and now you want to lock him up like _he's_ the criminal."

"Ben, I don't want to lock anybody up. But let's face the facts, your son had his hands around another kid's throat. He was going to kill him if Ms. Harper hadn't pulled him off. Now, what happened to her was an accident, she admits. But what he was doing to that kid. That was very much intentional. If he hadn't been stopped, then he'd be going up for murder."

"Murder!" Ben shouted gutturally. "My son is the victim in all this. Just how much is one boy supposed to take?"

"Ben, you've always been an honorable man and I respect you for that. You've always taught your son's that when they've done wrong they have to answer for it." He fell back into his chair and rested his head in his palm.

"It's not my son's fault. It's my fault. I'm the one who told him to fight back. I told him to fight back and gave him no guidance how to do it. I just sent him off to figure it out for himself. With his strength. I never thought this would happen."

"I shouldn't be saying this." Roy spoke. "Normally I don't even like to think of it but" He sighed. "You have a lot of pull in this town. When people hear your boy's story, when they realize what he's been living through, I'm sure they'll be sympathetic. Everyone knows how gentle natured that boy is. They know he doesn't set out to hurt nobody. "I have to take him in, Ben."

"You should be taking me in instead."

"We need to let the law run its course. Hey, with any luck, McCabe won't press any charges." He snapped forward.

"He presses charges against my boy, I'm pressing charges against his, for throwing that rock at my son's head."

"First of all we don't even know it was Kyle that threw it. We'd have to get Hoss to tell us so. Right now we need to find him. He can tell us his story then. Where's your son Ben?"

"I told you, I don't know."

"Where would he go?" He shakes his head. "Does he have friends?"

"No."

"Anybody he might turn to for help?"

It dawned on him. "Yeah, the Paiutes. He's made a couple of friends among them." This worried the lawman.

"If he's there, this could make things difficult especially if they don't want to hand him over so easily. I really hope he's not there. I'll tell you what, we'll consider that a last resort. What about anywhere else? Any other friends?

"No. He didn't make friends easily."

"What about any place he might go to clear his head? Any place he might feel safe."

"The lake. Rock Lake."

"Okay. We'll try there first and work our way out."

~.~

Hoss was met with agitation as he pushed his mount onto the boundaries of tribal land. "Your Chief. I want to speak to your chief." Though cautious of the boy, they couldn't shoot the child coming in peace. They guided him through and directed him to wait outside a tent in the center of the camp. A moment later he stood before the venerable leader. The conversation went far from planned.

"You are young, Whiteman. You have family. Father, brothers. We have no place for you here. You bring trouble for my people if you stay. You bring other Whiteman. Look for you. You bring war. Go son, away from here. Go back to your people. You are not wanted here."

~.~

Ben left a worried Hopsing in charge while he went off with the Sheriff to hunt down Ben's number two son. Little Joe sat on the counter top kicking his legs back and forth as Hopsing worked feverishly around him trying to occupy his mind with other matters. The waiting was torturous for him. Little Joe, jumped down and headed for the door. "Number 3 son, stay here so Hopsing keep eye. Don't need something bad happening to you too."

"I can't keep still. I want my doll."

"Go get doll. Come right back." He went for the living room. His doll was right on the floor where he'd left it. He picked it up and stayed. Hopsing escaped back into his work forgetting about Joe's drawn out return. Joe looked at the front door. A moment later he was slipping out of it. He left his doll on the banister outside as he headed for the barn. If he was going to go after his brother he was going to have to conquer his fears. Everybody said it was going to happen sooner or later with his fiery spirit. It wasn't a matter of if, it was a matter of when. Well he guessed, today was going to be the day.

Hopsing was set into a state of uneasiness that went far beyond Hoss. Little Joe. He's been gone a while. He stopped his work and went out to go look for the boy. He wasn't in the living room where he thought the doll had been left. Maybe the doll was in his room. Neither it, nor the boy were there. Where did he go? He asked himself while glancing around. He headed for the door. Little Joe's doll laid on the banister. Little Joe had definitely come out here, but where. The horses shimmied and shied. No. Little Joe's afraid of horses. He wouldn't be in there. Still something told him this should be the first place to look.

Juniper was up on her hind legs stomping and pawing at the ground.

"It's okay girl, calm down. It's just me. It's your friend, Little Joe. He pulled at her reigns. "Woah! It's okay."

"Little Joe!" Hopsing shouted. He ran for him and pulled him away from the stomping horse.

"No. It's okay. I'm not scared anymore!" His heart beating against the walls of his chest, which Hopsing could feel as his arms wrapped around him keeping him in place, betrayed the boy.

"What numbah 3 son doing? Numbah 3 could have been stomped by hose."

"I have to go. I have to go find Hoss."

"Mistah Cotwight go get bwotha. Cotwight bwing numbah 2 son home."

"No, they don't know where he is. I know where he is. I can find him. I can bring him home."

"How numbah 3 son know and not Mistah Cotwight."

"I just do."

"Fine, you tell me I go."

"It has to be me."

"Why it got to be you?"

"Because, I'm the only one that can get him to come back." He buried his face into Hopsing and wept. Hopsing held the shattered boy.

"Mistah Cotwight find son. He bwing home."

"Why? Why did he have to leave?" He lifted his head revealing his tear streaked face. "He said he would never leave. Why'd he have to go?"

Little Joe suffered in a way he would have never imagined. The brother's shared something between them. The family itself was close-knit. He felt privileged and honored to be a part of it, but the relationship the two youngest Cartwright's shared was a bond like no other. What promises were made between the two, this was the first hearing of it. But he had no doubt words like that were shared. Words Little Joe, the boy who doesn't lie, obviously took to heart. He was willing to conquer his fears, to possibly get himself killed to bring his brother home. He looked up at the pawing horse. No saddle had yet been placed. Would Little Joe have found a way to do that if he hadn't been stopped or would he have ridden him bareback? He held Little Joe in his breast.

"You cry now."

"He said he'd never leave."

"You get it out."

"Why did he have to leave?"

~.~

Hoss was broken from his woeful thoughts by the sound of approaching horse steps. Three horses. He recognized them. They were his friends.

"We thought we might find you here." Little Feather greets.

"Why are you out here? I thought it was too dangerous."

"We're not supposed to be here, but we just had to see how you were. Make sure you were alright."

"Thanks."

"We thought you might be hungry. We brought you something." He handed over a cloth wrapped loaf of bread.

"Thanks."

"My father said something happened to you." Young Wolf spoke. "He could not say what."

"I'm sorry for coming to your tribe like that. I was really looking for you guys."

"You really caused a stir."

"It's just that you're my only friends. I shouldn't have gone. I guess, I know now it was a bad idea. I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay. They'll be alright."

"How about you? Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I guess.

"What happened, Horse?" Little Feather asked.

"I did something."

"What did you do? Did you kill someone?"

"I almost did. Another boy."

Hoss retold the story of how this boy was threatening him and calling him names. Saying words like "Indian lover" and other things.

"Is this the same boy who's been hurting you?" His face gave them the answer.

"Maybe it's time to tell your Pa. Just, tell your pa. They won't punish you, once you tell them. If you go home, it won't be so bad.

"I don't know about that."

"Show them your chest, Hoss. You have to show them."

"I guess I've got to go back. It'd break my Pa's heart if I didn't face up to what I did."

"We could take you part ways if you'd like."

"No. It's okay. You should go back home before your missed."

"How much longer do you think you're going to be out here?"

"I don't know. I just need to clear my head."

"The sun is going down. It will be dark soon. If you are going to clear your head you should do it quick. Not safe to be here, at night, alone."

"I reckon, you're right. Thanks for coming out to see me."

"I wish we could stay with you."

"I know."

"You are our friend, Horse."

"You're my only friends."

"That's not true. Little Joe is best friend too."

"Yeah, that's not the same."

All four of them heard the oncoming men. Little Feather reached for his Bow and Young Wolf grabbed his arm to still him. Hoss recognized the men beyond the trees.

"It's okay it's just my Pa." He took Hoss's word for it and lowered his guard. A man with a badge was with him.

"Should we hide?" Little Feather asked.

"It's too late now. They already know we're here."

When he found his boy, he found he was not alone. The boy's though friendly when he shared his table with them were now cautious of him and the lawman. Tension was shared by everyone as they each tried to discover the others intentions.

"Hoss, I'm here to take you into town." Young Wolf held back Little Feather as he lurched forward. Roy caught site of this but didn't react. "I need to take you in, just until we can get this whole mess straightened out."

"Do you know?" Light Feather spoke with raised voice. If Hoss wasn't going to stand up for himself he was going to stand up for him. "Do you know?" He was asking the father and the Lawman. His horse rocked with his rider's agitation. "Do you know what they were doing to him?" Young Wolf tried to silence his cousin. He would not be silenced. The unfairness of it all he could not ignore. "Do you know?" He asked again.

Ben intervened for the sake of his son's friend whose heart bled for him. "Lift up your shirt Son." He ordered, to say he knew. It was up to all of them together to show the Sheriff.

"Go on Hoss." Little Feather urged. He drew up his shirt to show his disgraceful, flabby, over-sized belly. Roy saw not that, but what the other's had seen. Skin marred in bruises. Old bruises. Not from today. Some maybe, but many more days, weeks old. Maybe longer. So many bruises.

"Turn around." Roy ordered. His back the same. Small ones reflecting each time he was pinched and his skin twisted between tiny fingers. Some larger ones reflecting each time he was struck. Hearing it and seeing it were two different things. Stories could be exaggerated. This was real. "Come on boy. We're going to work this out together."

~.~

The hooves come in hard and fast. Hopsing rushes to the door to come out to meet his employer. He opens just as the man was beginning to pound on the door. It was not Ben.

"Where is he?" He bellowed.

"Whey is who?"

"That boy. Where is he? I want to see him _right_ now." Joe who sat on the staircase on the middle landing stood at the man's fury. It was apparent it was not he the man sought. "That boy's gonna pay for what he's done to my son."

"Boy not heya. Boy not come home."

"Where's Cartwright?"

"Cotwight not heya eithah." He did not want to let this man and all his anger into the house, especially with Little Joe, but he had no choice. The man pushed past him.

"Ben Cartwright!" He shouted. The frightened tot remained on the landing. He covered his ears at the booming voice. "Ben! You better get out here right now! We've got some things to discuss!"

"I tell you, Mistah Cotwight not heya." He looked around the living room then opened the door to the boy's room peering in. He glanced at the staircase and Joe stiffened. The man ran up to him, pushing past him up the stairs. Hopsing waved at Joe trying to get him to come down. They could hear the door open to the only room up there. His father's room. Joe was about to move when they here the footsteps pummeling back down towards him. Joe pushed himself against the railing to give the man a clear passage back down.

"Where are they?"

"Hopsing not know. If you want, I tell Mistah Cotwight you come look foe dem. Dey will go to you."

"Nice try. No. I think I'll wait right here." He said taking a seat on the chair facing the dining room. Hopsing glanced at the boy. The man sat between them. Hopsing could go for the door and probably make it out just fine, but the little boy was trapped. How was he going to get to him? As if reading the Chinaman's thoughts the irate father turns to the boy whose hands were still clasped against his ears. He was scaring him.

"You. You're Ben's littlest?" _Oh no. This could be bad._ Hopsing had to protect him. Get him out of here. Little Joe cautiously lowered his hands.

"Mistah, maybe I take boy. Go fix snack."

"You go. I'll keep an eye on him. I'll take some coffee if you got it." No way was he going to leave Joe alone with this man. He had no idea what he was capable of.

"Coffee, no poblem. I take boy. Go get coffee."

"_No_. I said, _I'll_ watch him. You go, get me some coffee. I'll keep watch of the boy. I have a few things I'd like to discuss with him anyways." Little Joe locked eyes with Hopsing begging him not to leave him alone.

"Boy get over here." The scary man ordered drawing the boy's attention.

"Mistah, deya's no poblem. I take boy. Little Joe come heya." He waved him over. Little Joe knew what Hopsing was doing. Without hesitation he went to obey stepping down from the stairs. The man jumped up and cupped Hopsing on the side of his face stopping Joe in his tracks as he watched Hopsing fall to the floor. Joe went rigid and wide eyed. His hands shooting back to his ears.

The man stared down at the Chinaman on the floor and glanced back at the boy. _Stupid Chinaman. Just his luck he'd go smartin' off. Make him go do what he did and scaring the boy and all. _Things weren't working out how he wanted them to. "You stupid Chinaman. Don't you understand English? I said, get me some coffee!" The fire surged in Joe to see the treatment of his trusted companion. He ran to attack the man, pounding his fists wildly into his legs.

The man grabbed Joe by the collar stopping the flurry of blows. The Chinaman pushed himself off the floor making him un-holster his side arm. "Mind your stupid business, Chinaman." He aimed at him. Little Joe kicked his feet and squirmed in a fiery temper as he was lifted off the ground with one hand.

"Let me go!" Joe shouted. "You let me go!"

"Missah, Missah Ben be heya soon. Let me take boya away. You can wait heya. No poblem. We don want no twubol."

"It's a little too late for that. You've got trouble. I'm taking him with me." Joe went rigid as these words crawled into his soul and settled in his core. His anger converting to sheer terror at the thought of being taken from his home. His knuckles lost color as his grip tightened around the man's hand.

"No!" Joe said as sort of a whimper. "Please. I don't want to go." He begged. Little Joe pulled against his grip.

"Stop fighting you little brat." He shook him to still his fight.

"Missah, missah. Please. Don't take boy. Take me. I go."

"You stupid man. What would I want with you? I'm taking the boy and you're going to tell Ben Cartwright when he returns that I want to see him and that behemoth kid of his. When that boy gets locked away where he belongs. He could have this one back."

~.~

"Sheriff! Sheriff!" The deputy slowed his horse as he saw the group coming from the trees. They met him on the open road halfway between the McCabe residence and the Ponderosa.

"What is it?"

"We've got a problem." His mind immediately went to the injured boy.

"Is it Kyle?" If he'd gotten worse this could spell real trouble for Hoss. God forbid he'd die.

"No, no. Kyle's fine." The young deputy stammered.

"Then what is it boy? Spit it out."

"It's McCabe, sir. Apparently he's pretty upset about what happened. Doc said he came out here to find your boy." Ben and Hoss exchanged worry glances.

"Alright, alright. It's okay." Roy took control. "We probably missed him on the road. He's probably going to your house. Let's just get there and talk to him. We'll all sit down and have a nice long conversation. We'll just see if we can't straighten this whole mess out."

~.~

It was twilight now. The trees always made the land appear darker than it really was. When the sun would slip down the forest was always the first to feel the effects of the oncoming night. There was still a bit of light left from the passing day, but that was quickly depleting.

To the sound of whimpering and struggling they stopped their horses.

"Shhh! You hear that?" Paduddabbu Issa held Sagwa-ni Kasa still. Numi Tobu Honi was mounted behind his brothers'. The three of them listened on as they peered through the trees.

"What do you think it is?" From the slant of the hillside they looked down upon a man fighting his hold on a little boy.

"Let me go!" They heard. Louder this time. Clearer.

"Hold still."

"Let me go!" The child pleaded.

"You little brat. I'm going to give you what for if you don't quit fightin with me."

"No, please." The boy pleaded and continued to struggle.

"Shut up boy. We got Injuns watching us." His eyes went wide and darted out looking through the trees. He saw a few braves staring down at them but couldn't tell much more about them, than they were Indians. He took his chances, they couldn't do much worse to him than this guy could do.

"Help me!" He shouted allowed. "Help me! Please help me!" He shook the boy.

"Shut up boy! Do you want to get yourself scalped?"

Paduddabbu Issa lowered his eyes at the sight. "Come on, let's go." He went to turn his horse.

"No wait." Sagwa-ni Kasa stopped him. That's Hoss and Adam's little brother." Paduddabbu Issa looked again.

"You sure?"

"Look at his curls. I'd recognize that boy anywhere."

"It is not our affair." Paduddabbu Issa said solemnly. "We have to get back." Sagwa-ni Kasa looked at his cousin incredulous.

"We have to do something. We can't just let him take him."

"What one Whiteman does to another is not our concern. What they do to Indian, that is our concern."

"What about what one Whiteman does to a little boy?"

"Not our concern." How can he be so callous? "Little boy's get hurt all the time."

"What about Hoss's brother? He's our friend."

"He is no friend of mine. Friend to you, maybe, not friend to me."

"You're right. He is a friend of mine." He shimmied his horse down the hill.

"Sagwa-ni Kasa, get back here."

"Help me! Please help me." The man covered Joe's mouth with his palm. Little Joe squirmed and got just enough of his mouth free to be able to bite down.

"Argh! You little brat. I'll give you what for." He lands a closed fist to Joe's ear and cheek bone, to which Joe saw white as his temple exploded with pain. He cradles his head as the fight leaves him.

A moment later where he saw natives, now there were none. He was despondent as the overwhelming feeling of loneliness crept in. Little Joe was born and raised in these parts. He'd never really been afraid of the forest before, even with the stories his brothers have told of the creatures that lived within. He had a feeling they told him these stories because they thought he was too wild. They were just to scare him into staying close to home. It hardly worked though. The forest was his friend. He'd always felt that. To be respected but not feared. He hated to be out here now. It wasn't the forest's fault. It was the man. He hated to be out here, alone, in the dark, with the man. It was the man he feared.

An arrow swooshed by their heads and embeds itself in the tree they'd just passed. Pulling the reins on his horse, McCabe reaches for his side arm and spots the young brave in front of him aiming down with another arrow. He's just a child passing the age of puberty. He missed once, he could take him. The rustling at his side draws his attention to another Injun. This one older. There were three on the hill. His eyes dart around looking for the third which he found at his back. He was surrounded. They were all young though. The one at his side was clearly older than the other two. Maybe somewhere between 17 and 20. The one at his back looked to be the youngest. No more than a preteen, and still had his baby face. All children. They teach them how to be heathens young. He pondered his chances. The middle child to his front, took the lead. Stepping into the clearing, arrow still drawn he used it to indicate that McCabe dismount. With the three of them it didn't seem the odds were in his favor. He could take out one, maybe two; but all three were poised and ready to fire their weapons. He slipped down from his horse. He had no intention of giving them what they wanted whatever that may be. He just had to think through it. Be smarter than them. Look for his first opening when it presented itself and not be afraid to take it.

"It's okay boy. I'll protect you." McCabe whispered to the boy who remained in the saddle.

This man can't be serious, Sagwa-ni Kasa thought. He just saw him strike Joe, who still cradled his head at the site. The blood boiled within him. He was going to get this boy away from the man. He stifled his anger and approached them cautiously.

McCabe held his ground. He wasn't going to let this boy go off to be scalped if he could help it. He got him into this mess and he was going to get him out.

Sagwa-ni Kasa trusting his brothers to keep him covered had to let the bow go with one hand in order to reach out for the reins. He was going to take the whole steed. This man could walk home for all he cared.

This was just the moment he'd waited for. The opportunity had presented itself. McCabe fast drew his pistol and fired at the brave to his side presumably his biggest threat, who barely avoided the shot by ducking behind a tree. The man ran to his horse's front expecting the brave behind him to release the arrow he held taught. He did not disappoint. Unfortunately instead of hitting the man, the arrow landed into the horse's front shoulder causing the horse to rear up and forcing Little Joe to hold on for dear life. The Injun to his front reached out to fight and got one good pistol blow to the side of his head, bringing him to his knees. The brave to his rear drew his arrow again and shot into the nearby brush sending the pained horse into further panic. McCabe grabbed for the flailing reins to still the panicked horse, splitting his attention by reaching around the horse to fire another shot at the young boy hitting him center in his fat belly. Another arrow flew in from their side, where the oldest boy had been and embedded itself into the horse's ribcage just behind the first. That was about all that tamed horse would tolerate. Pained and panicked, and realizing he was caught in the middle of a battle ground the horse darted out, pushing past his master to clear himself of the tumultuous chaos happening around him. Trampling over anything that might stand in his way which unfortunately was Sagwa-ni Kasa. The man having no more horse to shield him and feeling exposed shot up from the ground and bolted for the thicket of the trees while firing wildly towards the oldest brave at his side, his only threat left.

Paduddabbu Issa charged after fully intending to make him pay, but made it just past the clearing and into the thicket before a bewailing moan sounded at his back, stopping him. He looked back at Sagwa-ni Kasa writhing about on the forest floor. His heart fell to his stomach before thinking of the other. Where was he? His eyes looked beyond Sagwa-ni Kasa peering through the trees at where Numi Tubu Honi had been standing. The space was clear. Peering further he made out a lump on the ground that he was sure wasn't there a moment ago. _It was him._ It dawned on him. His stomach twisted inside him to think that the still lump was him. He looked back into the trees where the man had made his escape. He was pulled to continue the chase. Find the man and make him pay. They hadn't been able to save the boy. But he could at least make him pay for what he had done to his brothers. Make him pay for a fight they started. His eyes jumped from one to another, one trampled one shot. Two pitiful messes on the forest floor. Sagwa-ni Kasa moaned as he pushed himself upward. He ran to him first and knelt at his side.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm hurt."

"You foolish boy." Paduddabbu Issa admonished. Sagwa-ni Kasa gave him an irritable look. _Was now really the time to debate ethics? _Numi Tubu Honi groaned from where he lay. They both looked up at him.

"Can you walk?" Paduddabbu Issa asked.

"If you can help me up." Paduddabbu Issa pulled Sagwa-ni Kasa to his feet. Sagwa-ni Kasa, using his brother for support, hobbled his way over to Numi Tubu Honi and fell at his side. Blood leaked from a hole in his stomach. "Honi." The boy arched back in pain. "Honi talk to me."

"Nuumma." The boy cried through locked jaw. His response was bitter sweet. They hated for him to be in pain, but at least he was alive. There was pain in his eyes as he stared at his brother. Sagwa-ni Kasa looked to Paduddabbu Issa begging him to do something. Paduddabbu Issa jumped into action.

McCabe hid behind a tree as the tall Indian brave ran past him. Realizing he wouldn't get too far on foot and feeling the immediate threat of the chase gone, he had circled himself back around and found the two huddled at the side of the third. He needed to find the boy. The little one he took from the Cartwright house. He was out there alone now. Probably scared out his wits and he needed to get him back fore anything else happen to him. He could imagine how much trouble he'd be in if something did befall that boy. This whole thing would be for nothing. Making Cartwright pay and all. Not exactly what he had in mind. Oh Cartwright would pay alright if something did happen to that youngin'. He'd pay with grief. Problem was McCabe would no longer be coming out on top, looking like a hero and all for taking down a giant. Not if the way he made that giant pay was by hurting the lil one. He'd be the one to look like a chimera. He knew he had to get that boy back. Complete what he came out here to do but for that he'd need a horse. He kept hidden as the oldest brave darted about from rock to rock before going back to the injured one.

Paduddabbu Issa had peeled moss and placed it over the hole. He ripped away at his trousers and covered the moss. As he pulled it around his brother's backside, Numi Tubu Honi moaned in response. "You're going to be okay." Sagwa-ni Kasa crooned. As he tucked the cloth under Numi Tubu Honi, Paduddabbu Issa felt the warm slick wetness soaking his brother's back. He turned him over. It had gone through and through but left a gaping hole. The hole to his stomach was nothing compared to the one in his back. Sagwa-ni Kasa saw Paduddabbu Issa's face change. Paduddabbu Issa didn't want to tell him. He didn't have to. Sagwa-ni Kasa saw it in his eyes. Paduddabbu Issa went to find more moss and came back to cover that hole too.

McCabe stopped again when he felt the older brave get up again. He'd found the horses but stopped again as the young man worked. He waited until he had gone back to his kin. None of the horses had saddles but beggars can't be choosers. He opted for the strongest one and lifted himself onto its back.

As he worked the sound of hooves were heard where their horses were staged before the battle began. The braves knew exactly what had happened. At least one of their horses had been taken. Paduddabbu Issa seethed with anger.

"Look." Sagwa-ni kasa redirected his attention to Numi Tubu Honi who was playing with his mouth. He mimicked like he was drinking. They watched him play with his tongue. He wasn't mimicking. He _was_ drinking. They both saw it. The moonlight made the liquid on his teeth appear as black tar. It was blood. He was swallowing past it. Sagwa-ni Kasa was horror-stricken.

"I've got to go get help." Paduddabbu Issa stressed. Sagwa-ni Kasa nodded. Paduddabbu Issa left them alone and rode away hard and fast.

~.~

Mister Cartwright. Mister Cartwright." Reagan met them a quarter mile outside the ranch house. "Someone took your boy."

"What?" Hopsing sent me out here to see if I could find you.

"Wait, what did you say?"

"Hopsing sent me out to find you. He said that someone took your boy. Took Joe. He said a man came into the house and was looking for you. When he couldn't find you, he took Little Joe. If you were to see Hopsing, you could see he tried to stop him."

"Is it bad?"

"He'll heal. He told Hopsing to tell you that when Hoss here gets locked up he'd let Joe go."

Ben wiped his mouth with a trembling palm.

"I'm sorry, Pa." Hoss broke him from his repine. "I never meant for any of this to happen." He turned to his son, taking on a frightfully serious tone.

"You listen to me. None of this is your fault. We'll get him back."

Things had gotten real serious, real fast. "Hoss." Roy broke in. "Go with Deputy Williams here." He had to get Hoss out of harm's way. "Deputy, put him in protective custody."

"No." Hoss protested. "I want to go with you. Help you get Joe back."

"No son. It's too dangerous for you. We'll get him back. I promise."

"Pa. I can track him. I know how. I can follow the tracks."

"Son, we'll get him. Go." Hoss was hurt at being dismissed but he dutifully obeyed. He followed the deputy away from the group.

~.~

Little Joe held on for all it was worth. When the horse took off, he'd pulled the reins tight and buried his head into the base of the horse's mane and let the horse take him where he wanted to go. He couldn't think of guiding him. He forgot how and plus he wouldn't know where to go anyways. But it was a while ago now since he lost the horse. The ride though wild didn't last all that long. He'd lost his horse some time back. He was able to hold on through the worst part. When he felt the horse slowing he lifted his head. The horse had swayed from side to side trying to catch its footing with each wounded step. He knew the horse was feeling the pain of his wound. He begged the horse not to give up on him, but give up it did. When the horse collapsed he pulled at its reins trying to get it to stand again. "Come on girl. Keep going." He begged it trying to summon the courage not to give up too. To just lay down right next to him and wait. Wait to be caught. Wait for the man to get him or death, whichever would come first. "Come on." He pleaded, fighting back tears. "Please don't quit on me. Please." He couldn't stay there for long. Looking around him he felt the night closing in. Not the night, the man. The man was closing in. The man was going to find him. The fate of this horse was not going to be his fate. To lay in the middle of a forest and die. To be picked at by critters and scavengers until there was nothing left. He wasn't going to give up now. He couldn't. He had to keep going. Without the horse he had to run. He was on foot now.

~.~

Paduddabbu Issa's village was too far away. They were in Whiteman country. He rode as fast as his horse could ride towards the nearest house he knew wouldn't turn him away. Fortunately for him, he didn't have to go that far. The men he sought were coming to him.

"Help. Please Help. My brothers." The young man dismounted and ran into the arms of Horse's Father.

"What happened?"

"Somebody took your boy. He was crying out for help." It pained the father to hear these words. Thinking about the danger his youngest was in. How frightened he must be. Praying to god he hadn't been hurt. His little baby. "We tried to get him back. We failed. My brother's, they're hurt."

~.~

The forest was dark and took on a frightening countenance. Joe couldn't tell one tree from another. He'd never seen it before like he was seeing it now. Shadows had grown in length, every one of them seeming like they wanted to reach out and grab him. No. The forest was his friend. It was the man which frightened him. The forest would protect him. Hide him like it hid the man. He considered that thought. It _was_ hiding the man. The forest wasn't his friend. It cared nothing for him. It picked no sides. The forest was cold and heartless. It was betraying him. It hid the man in its shadows, the same way it hid all its other predators. He fought back the panic as it began to rise.

He had no idea which way was home. He couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling that no matter which way he went he was only getting further away from where he wanted to be now. In front of a warm fire embraced in his father's arms. He was running. Deeper into the forest. Deeper away from his home. Deeper lost. He was scaring himself. Allowing the fear to overtake him. He had to get control. His family would find him. No matter how lost he got. They would find him. He had to just keep reminding himself of that. They are not going to allow him to end up like that horse. They will find him. He just had to stay away from the scary man long enough to help them do that. Keep going. The man was by far closer than they. He had to get as far away from him as he could.

~.~

Young Wolf led the way back to the site of his fallen kin. Little Feather was sitting next to his brother when they found them.

"He fell asleep a while after you left." Little feather said despondently. "I can't wake him."

"What happened here?"

"Little Feather, trampled by horse."

"I'm okay."

"Walks Like Bear, shot." The youngest one seemed to be in the worst shape. Ben and Roy knelt on opposite sides. He was cold. His lips were blue. His breathing was wet and raspy. He was on the precipice of death.

"Man have your boy." Little Feather cried. "Your little one. Little Joe. He was yelling, begging for help. We tried. We really tried."

"It's okay. We're going to help your brother." Ben consoled. "Reagan, take them back to the house. Then ride out to get the Doc." Reagan nodded obediently. "Young Wolf." Ben stood to give Reagan room to work. "Which way were they headed?"

"Through those trees." The young man pointed the way.

"What would you like to do?" Ben asked the boy against Roy's discomfort allowing him to make his own decisions.

"I would like to kill him." He averred not caring that the lawman heard. It was the truth and no less than these white men would do for their kin. He didn't care if the lawman tried to lock him up. Bring on the war. His people will avenge him as he will avenge his brothers.

The grunt he heard from Little Feather drew his attention. He was under Walks Like Bear's arm trying to push him standing with his own weight. Even with the ranch owner's friend on the other side, Little Feather struggled under the weight of Walks Like Bear. It should be him helping Walks Like Bear. Not the injured Little Feather. Young Wolf ran over to take Little Feathers part. Little Feather didn't argue. He stepped back grimacing and hugging his own midsection, letting Young Wolf take over. "I must do this first." He told the rancher. He had to get them back to the house. He had to get them help. He had to make sure they were okay. Before revenge there was love. Ben understood.

~.~

"Wait." Hoss pulled the reins on his horse. The deputy stopped his too. "Look it here." Williams looked at the muddy ground where Hoss pointed. All he could make out in the darkness was a lumpy ground. "Two sets of tracks." Hoss said. "One horse and one foot."

"How can you see that?"

"Look." He dismounted and pointed at a small print. "This is a shoe print."

"A man?"

"No. It's small. It's a boy. It's Joe's."

"You don't know that." He said disbelieving.

"Yeah I do. I'd recognize his prints anywhere."

"What would he be doing on foot?"

"He's running."

"What?"

"The prints are spread out. Wide spread and the impact is deep. The horse is running too." He seemed to know what he was talking about.

"Is he chasing it?"

"No the horse is chasing him."

"How can you tell that?"

"The hooves trample the boy's prints."

"Hoss, that don't make much sense. You can't outrun a horse."

"I agree with you there. Which is why we have to go after them."

"What? No, I'm supposed to get you back to the Jailhouse."

"Joe got free somehow and now he's being chased. We have to get to him first."

"Alright. I'll go Hoss, after I get you back. I'll come back out and get him."

"It'll be too late then. He's only 6 years old. He's alone out here, running from a man that just took him outta his home. You said it yourself, you can't outrun a horse. It's only a matter of time, before he gets him again. If he hadn't already. And what's he going to do to him when he does?" The deputy was conflicted. Williams shook his head subtly as if to say, I don't know.

"If he were your brother, what would you do?"

~.~

"Doc?" He looked up to see the worried ranch hand standing in the door-frame, wringing his hat in his hands. "I'm here on behalf of Mr. Cartwright. He's got a couple boys at his home who've been hurt." Paul's features dropped as his mind went immediately to Hoss and Little Joe. They were too late. They've both been hurt. But how bad? Bad enough to summon him. He looked at his patient laying down, but not sleeping. Kyle scrunched his face as if he was going to be ill. He knew too. His father had gone too far.

"Kyle, I've got to go out there."

"Take me with you." He grabbed at his arm.

"I don't think that's a good idea. It's safer for you if you stayed here. I'll have someone come to watch over you."

"It's okay. You don't have to do that." He retreated back.

"Are you going to be alright by yourself?"

"I'll be alright."

"Stay here. Please. Until I return." Kyle agreed.

"If my pa is there," He beseeched. "Please tell him to come back." Paul put a sympathetic hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Alright Kyle."

~.~

Little Joe heard the rustling of the brush behind him. He backed himself against the nearest tree and slid down it, hiding within its shadow, doing his best to make himself as small as possible. His breath was hard and louder than he wanted it to be, from fear or from exertion at this point it was all the same. As quiet as he tried to be, this he couldn't silence. This alone would give him away. He sees the dark figure beyond the brush. He tucks his limbs into his torso hugging his knees and massaging one arm with another. The dark shadow pushes through the brush. He buries his head wishing to disappear. The shadow was just 15 feet in front of him now. Little Joe admonished himself for choosing this spot to hide. This wasn't a hiding spot at all. This was out here in the open. He was sure to be found. How could he be so stupid? It was too late now to scurry behind the tree. That action would alert the man right to him. He prayed the shadowy figure wouldn't see him. He prayed the shadow of the tree he hid against was enough, but he just wasn't sure. He prayed the man would just go away. He locked his jaw as he fought back the tears. If his breathing wasn't going to give him away his senseless crying sure would.

"Joe." The voice whispered. He looked up. "Little Joe." The voice was different. It wasn't the man. It was young. It was- he thought about his brother.

"Hoss?" The shadow turned to him. It was him. He bolted out of his hiding and slammed his curls into his brother's hip bone wrapping his small thin arms around him about as tightly as he could. His trembling hold expressing to Hoss just how frightened he had been and how equally grateful he is that Hoss has come to rescue him. He pulled Joe away and their eyes lock. The half-moon reflecting its rays off of their pale faces and the white in their eyes. His clothes were torn and his face was dirty. No not dirt. Some maybe but his eye. There was something different about it. It didn't look so much like dirt as... Hoss ran a tender thumb down Joe's cheek at the sight. His heart fell, at once he realized. The man had struck him. He bit back his anger threatening to swell. _This strike wasn't meant for Joe._ He thought. _It was for me._ To think of the large fist of a grown man planting itself against his brother's cheekbone so hard that he bruised. An image flashed through his mind. His little brother beneath the weight of him receiving an onslaught of blows that weren't meant for him. His brother pinned beneath him crying for him to stop as he took his aggression out on him. This frail thin, sweet boy; no bigger than a tot. As angry as he was at the man, he understood how he was no better than he. There was responsibility in being large. He was beginning to understand that now. McCabe took his brother out of his home because Hoss wasn't there to protect him. Hoss was a coward who tried to run away from what he had done. His little brother took his place, and was abused for it. He was not going to let that happen again. This whole thing was his fault and he was going to face what he had done. First things first, he had to get Joe out of here.

"Come on." He grabbed his hand and led the way back to his horse which waited for him at the edge of the bluff.

~.~

Kyle left the comforts of the bed and walked outside. He promised the doc he'd stay there until he returned but he didn't promise him he'd stay in bed. He brought some of the comforts of the bed with him. He wrapped himself into the bed sheet to stave off a bit of the night's cold chill. He was so anxious thinking about the way the day had turned out. His body refused to be stifled. He just wanted his father to come back for him. He took a seat on the steps of the porch and looked up and down the streets. The town sure did have a different feel in the nighttime than it did in the day. Eerie almost. It was just as busy. But a different kind of busy. A different kind of people roamed the streets now; scarier, darker, contemptible. It was busy, but lonely. He just missed his pa.

When the forest became too thick and the ground too rocky, Hoss felt the terrain was exceptionally dangerous to push his horse through, especially in the dark. He left Gracie at the edge of the bluff. It was smart of Little Joe to have picked this spot to run. It would mean McCabe would be on foot too, or risk injury to his horse. Hoss kept hold of Little Joe's hand and led him back to his horse. Gracie, chewing nervously on wild-grass and gooseberries, waited for her master to return.

A few short affirming words and a rub down the mane he turned to his brother. "Joe. I know you're scared, but I need you to get on." Expecting obstinacy, he added before Joe could dispute. "I'll be right behind you, holding you."

"It's okay Hoss. I can do it." Hoss had no idea the wild ride Joe had just been on. By comparison this should be easy. Hoss confused at first when no dispute came, grinned curiously back. In spite of the fright he had just experienced, Joe's fiery spirit was shining strong. He reached down to lift Joe.

"Hold it right there." Hoss jumped at the voice. He turned to face Kyle's father who held a gun in their direction.

"Stand behind me Little Joe." He pushes Joe behind him, acting as a protective shield.

"Hoss no." Joe peers around trying to get his brother to see him. "He doesn't want me. He wants you."

"The boy's right. So are you going to come with me, or do I have to kill you both right here?"

"Drop it!" The deputy came out of nowhere. Hoss has never been so grateful to see a lawman. His timing was impeccable. Never taking his gun from the boys McCabe faces down the lawman.

"This boy's a criminal. He's got to be taken into custody." He tries to reason.

"I said drop it." The lawman refused to hear him out.

"I get it. So you're on their side. The good ol' Cartwright's have got the corrupt law right in their back pockets. So how much do you get out of this?"

"I ain't getting paid off."

"So what is it then? Why are you helping them?"

"I just don't take too kindly to a grown man holding a gun on innocent children."

"He ain't innocent. Do you take kindly to a kid half his size having the life choked out of 'em? Cause that's what this boy did. I aim to make him answer for it."

"You want him to answer? Put the gun down. I'll take him in."

"No. I don't think you will."

"I'll do it."

"No. I'll do it." McCabe averred.

"You're not going anywhere with these kids."

"Not both. Just that one." He indicated to Hoss. "He's the one I want."

"McCabe, If you don't drop that gun and I mean right now."

"What?" He stopped the lawman mid-threat. "What are you going to do? You going to shoot me?"

"Don't tempt me."

"You're not going to shoot me. You might be stupid, but you can't be that stupid. If you fire a shot," He explained. "so will I."

"Not if it's a kill shot."

"Especially if it's a kill shot and it wouldn't even be my fault. I'd be dead how could I help it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Reflex, son. Cause and effect. My fingers on this trigger. One good jolt is all it takes for this gun to go off, which is what will happen no matter where that bullet enters me."

"Get the gun off the boy."

"Why? So you could shoot me?" The deputy's adam's apple rose and fell betraying his cool exterior.

"So what's your plan then?"

"I'm going to do what you don't have the guts to do."

"If you fire a shot, I'll most definitely kill you."

"I'm not going to shoot them, unless you make me. No I'm taking him in and I ain't letting him out of my sight until I can find a judge that'll try him."

"I can't let you do that."

"How are you going to stop me?"

"Drop your gun now!" He fervently demanded.

"No." McCabe responded resolute. "You drop yours." The lawman tilted his head. "Drop your gun or I'll squeeze."

"One shot goes off I swear to God I'll kill you."

"Not before you've killed the both of them."

"You think you'll have the chance to fire twice?"

"No, but I don't need to. One shot. That's all I'll need." He scrunched his brows. "Look at the way they're standing." Hoss was confused. "One shot through and through. I can take them both out at the same time." His heart dropped as he looked back at his brother peering around him. He hated the thought of getting shot. He hated even more not being able to protect Joe. Is what he was saying true? Was having Joe at his back enough to get him killed or was it a bluff. What if he forced Joe away from him and he killed him then? Was he just trying to get him to expose his baby brother? Oh he didn't know what the right answer was. He kept Joe hidden but tried to compensate by pushing Joe low, but the boy wasn't submitting. At least not to his liking. Oh this was not the right time for Joe's fiery spirit to rear up. He was afraid of drawing unwanted attention if he kept trying. "Two boys one shot. You kill me. I'll be dead but not before you've killed the both of them." The lawman eyed the frightened children. "Looks like what we have here is a standoff. One that's about to end at the count of ten. What's it going to be?" He didn't answer. "One," The lawman looked at the boys again. "Two." His head swam. "Three. I'm holding all the cards." He took a sharp breath and tightened his jaw. "Four." He tossed his pistol down. Hoss looked at the pistol incredulously, at McCabes feet. The lawman just gave up. "That's a good boy. Now raise your arms. No sudden moves or their dead." Williams adam's apple rose and fell again as he eyed the children apologetically, but he did so obediently.

"So what now?" William's asked, trying to keep the attention on him.

A long pause passed between them as McCabe considered his next move. He hadn't planned for this. He wasn't sure what to do with the lawman. "Get on your knees." Williams dropped himself down as smoothly as his athletic form could manage, his knees meeting sand and wild grass. McCabe picked up the gun at his feet and tucked in into his waistband. He took his gun off the children and pointed it at the lawman, stepping forward. He hated to have to do this, but what choice did he have? The lawman stopped him once before. He would stop the lawman from ever coming after him again. Cease the threat. The lawman knew what was coming. "You probably should have killed me when you got the chance. At least you would have saved yourself." He aims in intending to put out his prey. Williams shuts his eyes and turns away, afraid of his own mortality. Hoss jumps in front.

"Stop. You don't have to do this." William's opens his eyes to the boy standing before him blocking McCabe's line of sight.

"Get out of the way boy."

"No. It's me you want. Isn't that right?" He looks at the boy standing in his way. He sucked in a breath. "I'll go." Little Joe watched in horror as his brother gave himself over to this scary man, leaving him standing alone. If you promise to let him live. I'll go."

"No Hoss!" Joe shouted drawing everyone's attention. Hoss held out an open palm directing Joe not to move. He tried to reason with McCabe.

"Listen, I know you don't think very highly of me, but Little Joe ain't done nothin' wrong. He's as innocent as they come. If you kill the lawman, you'd be leaving him out here all alone. You'd be killing him too." Who's the monster then? I'll go."

"Hoss?" Little Joe cried out. Hoss continued, ignoring his brother's pleas.

"Just leave them be. I'll go."

"What are you doing?"

"It's okay, Little Joe. Don't move. Just stay right where you are." The small boy looked back and forth between his big brother and the man with the gun. "You'll be okay. The deputy will take care of you." At this he lost it.

"NO!" He vehemently shouted and ran to him.

"Little Joe, Stop!" Hoss could barely get out the words before the boy's arms wrapped around him once again. "Oh Little Joe. Why'd you do that? You have to let go." He tried pulling him away but Joe held on.

"No. You can't leave me alone."

"Listen to me, I'm not going to leave you alone." Joe searched his brother's eyes for an explanation, hoping to God his brother would tell him he'd changed his mind. "Go with the deputy. He's gonna take care of you." Joe's face reddened in anger.

"No, Hoss. You can't go." He cried aloud. "You have to stay here! You promised! You can't be a liar, Hoss! You can't be!" What was he saying? "You said you'd never leave me!" Joe's voice cracked as he tried to get his brother to understand. "Don't you remember? You promised." The words flooded back. Lying in bed with him. Cradling him. Comforting him with his words. His promises. _We're going to be old men sitting in rockers together._ This was about so much more to Little Joe. He closed his eyes trying not to breakdown at the realization of what he was doing to him. He thought about how he might not make it back and what that would do to his brother. If he didn't, Little Joe would be a broken boy. He might never recover from that. He was trying so hard to be strong for him. How could he protect him? Little Joe had put himself between him and the gun. He had to get him away from this man. This was the only way. He had to do this. "You can't be a liar." Joe entreated. "Please don't be a liar. You can't leave me too." Joe drew away looking into the eyes of his brother. "Don't leave me Hoss." Hoss was giving it everything he had to not break down at his brother's entreaty. His chin quivered showing that he was losing the battle. "Please don't leave me."

"I'm sorry, Little Joe." He said with tear filled eyes. "I have to do this."

"No, wait. Wait." Joe buried his head again. Holding onto him as tight as he could, to keep him to stay. Hoss tried pulling him away about as gently as he could but Little Joe's hold on him was strong. "Don't leave me. Please Hoss." The tears he held at bay ran down his cheek. What choice did he have? He tried pulling him away but the tyke wouldn't let go.

"I'm sorry, Little Joe. I'm sorry." He had to get this man away from him. He had to protect him.

"No. Please." He tried with a little more force to pull him away but Joe held on.

"That's enough." The man callously yanked Joe off him and shoved him aside forcing Joe to land on the ground with a thud and a skid. Joe meant nothing to him. Hoss lurched forward, he could have punched the man right there for what he had done; but stopped as McCabe stepped back in a fighters stance and aimed his gun from waist level, showing Hoss he was fully capable and willing to shoot him if he had to. Hoss took the warning albeit reluctantly.

McCabe walked to Hoss's mount and struggled with a length of rope pulling it from the saddle.

"You." He pointed to the teen. "Tie his hands." He threw the small length of rope which Hoss caught in his chest. "Make it nice and tight." He turned to face the deputy.

"I'm sorry." Hoss said.

"It's okay Hoss." Williams assured. "Do what he says."

He walked behind the deputy and knelt down.

"It better be tight." McCabe Iterated.

The tears flowed freely down Joe's face. "I hate you Hoss." Joe spurned. "You're a liar." Like a dagger to the heart. He never expected he would ever hear those words come from Joe's mouth. Especially never directed towards him. Those words stung. He hung his head.

"Take care of him, please." He finally said.

"Sure Hoss." William's wished he could have saved Hoss too. The thought of letting this boy go off with this madman ate him up inside. He couldn't protect him. He failed him. Big time. He failed. He couldn't fail a second time, by letting anything happen to the little one too. "Take care of yourself."

Little Joe watched helplessly as Hoss tied the deputy's hands. He told him the deputy was going to take care of him, but he was tying his hands. How was the deputy going to protect him with his hands tied? He was angry and bitter at all that was happening before him. He was angry at Hoss for all his lies. Everything he promised him. None of it was true. The deputy was no more going to keep him safe than Hoss was going to be there to get old with him. It was all lies. He hated his brother. No, that wasn't true. He loved his brother. His heart ached for him. He wished he could help his brother. Keep him from having to go. Keep him from being a liar. If only there was something he could do. He's got to help him. There's got to be a way. Think. He suppressed his tears. Just think. He looked around for an opportunity, and then he saw it. His open window. The lawman's horse was in the shadows. Nobody was watching him or the horse. No. He looked down in fright. He can't do that. The last horse he was on nearly killed him. That horse was wounded. It wasn't the horses fault. It was natural for the horse to act that way. Not all horses are like that. His mother's horse wasn't wounded. The very thought made him ill as the memory of his mother's death came flooding back. No. He's scaring himself. There's nothing wrong with this horse. He's tame. He's got to try. The man with the gun could hurt the horse. He might hurt the horse if he tried to run. That may be true, he thought, but he couldn't talk himself out of this. He was willing to before. Why not now? He had to. For his brother, he had to. He had to conquer his fears. He had to take his chances. Now is when it really matters. Now was when his brother needed him the most. Like his life depended on it, or at least his brother's life; he bolted for the horse and threw himself over the saddle. McCabe looked back at him not wanting to let him go.

Something about the chaos and his blood pounding within him, instead of debilitating him it aided him. Little Joe had a focus and a drive that he'd never known before. Like he'd been riding for years, everything he was ever taught came flooding back. Joe turned the horse around and kicked him into a gallop.

"Go Little Joe. Go." The deputy lauded.

Hoss was dumbfounded to see his little brother on a horse by himself at all. Though the deputy encouraged it, he had no idea how mighty of a task this was for Joe. McCabe aimed in at the boy and Hoss pushed his arm awry. He shoved Hoss down to aim in again. The lawman jumped up and charged into him. With his hands tied that's about all he could do. McCabe pushed Williams aside and let him fall to the earth, hitting the lawman with the butt of his gun on the way down. Williams stuporously tried to push himself to his knees. McCabe was caught at an impasse. The boy was too far away to get a good shot now. He didn't really want to shoot the boy anyways but he didn't want to let the boy go so easily, lest he warn the others. At this point it didn't really matter. He got what he came for. He just had to move quickly. Keep his pursuers at his back at least until he could make it to a safe place to hold out for a while. He looked down at the bound deputy who finally made it onto his knees. He got in his way one too many times. He grabbed a fistful of hair and aimed the pistol at his head. William's acutely came to his senses. With no way to fight what was about to happen, all he could do was close his eyes and accept death as it came.

"Remember our deal." Hoss stopped him. "If you let him live. I'll go with you." It was a bluff as Hoss didn't see as if he'd have much of a choice otherwise, but something must have worked. It seemed McCabe was seriously considering his words. He lifted his pistol high in the air and brought it down again with an unforgiving force.

~.~

Roy and Ben had lost the trail several times already. Currently they were following upturned dirt on the main road to Virginia City praying to God they belonged to Joe. They eyed the ground now doing their darndest not to lose the trail again. If it stayed on the road it would be relatively easy to follow, but if it trailed off into the bushes again they would want to know the moment it did. They would have to take it slow again to keep eye of the tracks under the dark night.

They heard him before they saw him. Up ahead in the road a shadowed rider approached at full gallop. Ben reached for his sidearm and Coffee stopped his actions. The Sheriff recognized him first. "It's Williams." He assured. He could make out his deputies light brown mare as he approached. As the shadowed rider got closer he peered at the figure more intently. Were his eyes deceiving him? The figure was too small to be his deputy. "Pa." The small voice cried out. The boy knew who they were before they knew who he was.

"Little Joe?" Ben dismounted and ran to his son. He smiled brightly in confounded amazement searching him over for answers. All at once the answers weren't important. What was important was right before him. He pulled his son off the steed and into a tight squeeze. No. He had to know. He pulled away to look into the cherub face of his boy. "How did you get away?"

"Hoss found me." He smirked in bemusement and looked down the road for the other rider but the road was empty. "Where is he?" He asked looking back at his boy. He hated to tell his father such news when he seemed so happy, but he had to.

"The man has him." He scrunched his features in a mournful grimace. "The man found us and Hoss went with him." Ben's face turned grave again. "I told him not to go, but he did anyways." The boy turned to Roy. He has the lawman too. The young one." This panged Roy about as much as it did knowing he had Hoss. "He made Hoss tie his hands."

"Did he kill him?" Roy asked.

"I don't know. He wanted to. I left before he could. We have to hurry Pa." The boy was right. They had to get to them quick. They were both in trouble.

Ben wanted to take Joe back to the house. He was safe now and wanted to keep him that way. But at the sake of his other son? The one McCabe was really after and now this lawman, they had to get to them first.

"Do you know where they are?" He vowed to keep his son safe. He just needed to find Hoss first.

"I can take you." He responded assuredly. Roy felt uncomfortable with taking Joe along but at their pace they might not reach them in time. If Joe could show them, than that would help.

They tethered the deputy's horse to Roy's and Ben rode behind with Joe in his lap.

~.~

The night had crawled on slowly. All the businesses were closed and dark, save the Grand Hotel and saloons. Kyle leaned into the post and closed his eyes drifting in and out. Not full sleep just rest. He couldn't fully sleep as the post and hard wood steps didn't offer much comfort, nor the thoughts about his Pa and the Cartwright boys. His father could have a heavy hand which Kyle has had the privy of being on the other side of a time or two. His thoughts about them two boy's being laid up in bed wondering how bad they were hurt. Just what his father did to them. How far was his pa capable of going? How much hate did he really have for them? It was his fault. He started all of this. If only he would have just left Hoss alone. He kept messing with him and messing with him until he broke. His father hated them so he thought it was okay to hate them too. He never imagined things would ever be this bad. Oh how he wished his pa would come home. Forget about all this revenge and getting even, making other people pay. He looked down the street praying so hard that his father would be with him now.

~.~

The men didn't have to go into the brush to find him. He came out to the roadway to meet them. The deputy's hands were tied at his back, even so, he was stumbling along pretty well. They could see though by the way he staggered about he was injured. Both Ben and Roy jumped down to meet him and catch him before he collapsed. Ben looked him up and down. His body fared well other than the injuries he might have sustained from the natural dangers of the woods as he stumbled along through the thick trees and rocks. Minor scrapes and tears. His face was a different matter. Blood trickled from a fiery gash in his upper cheek. His head was matted with a thick wetness as well that seeped down soaking the collar of his shirt. "He was pistol whipped." Ben explained.

"What happened?" Ben asked. Roy drew his pocket knife and cut at the rope binding his wrist.

"Hoss found the tracks on the road. He knew straight away what they were. He said that Joe was running and there was a horse chasing after." Ben looks to his young son now, who nods to confirm. "He knew they were both running and that Joe's feet came first." His binds gave way. He lifted an arm to the back of his head at the site of the wound. Roy grabbed a cloth from his saddle bag and pressed it against the wound. "He must have found a way to escape and was being pursued."

"It's true. I had the man's horse but it was injured. It took me for a ways but then it quit on me. I tried to get it back up but she just wouldn't budge. I had to leave it. I had to keep going or the man was going to find me. I didn't know where I was going, but I had to keep moving."

"He told me," Williams continued. "That if we didn't go after them, than Joe wouldn't have much time before he was caught. You can't outrun a horse." Williams turned to Roy. "I didn't want to go sir. I swear it. I wanted to get Hoss back to town just like you told me to. Get him safe. I tried to tell him that I'd come back with help, but Hoss wouldn't hear of it. He said he couldn't leave his brother out there all alone running. We followed the tracks for a bit. Then Hoss came up with a plan. He said he knew where they were going. He told me to keep following behind and he was going to ride up ahead and try to cut them off. I didn't want to let him go but it seemed like the best plan. I couldn't come up with one better. If it worked, we'd cut them off from both directions. They'd have nowhere to go. When I finally caught up to them, Hoss had found Little Joe, but McCabe had found them too. He had the drop on them. I couldn't stop him. Not without putting the boys at risk. I'm sorry Little Joe."

"Where are they? Where'd he take him?" Ben asked.

"To town. He said he was going to take Hoss in. He said he wasn't going to let the boy out of his sight until we found a judge that would try him"

"Are you okay to ride?"

"Yeah, Sheriff. He knocked me upside the skull pretty good, but I can ride."

"Good, mount up."

~.~

Two people come riding around the corner sharing the back of a single horse. "Pa?" He muttered. The boy recognizes his father as he made his way through the darkness. He had someone with him. It was Hoss, he could make out as he looked closer. His Pa stopped the horse. He wasn't moving. He just stared down the street. Kyle wondered if it were he his pa was looking at. It didn't appear so. Hoss eventually turned back as if he was saying something to his pa. Then his pa turned the horse and walked around a corner, down a side street. Kyle wondered now if his pa saw him at all. It didn't seem like it was he his Pa was staring at. Still wrapped in the white bed sheet, he walked up the road passing the jail and peeked in.

Deputy Jim was on one side of the desk, Ms. Harper was on the other. Both with stacks of papers before them. Jim seemed to be reading as his eyes scanned the pages. Ms. Harper was just staring blankly at the page in her lap. She could feel the heat of Jim's eyes every time he looked up at her and could only imagine what he thought of her. He was polite enough to keep his thoughts to himself.

The boy kept going until he made it to the street his father had turned down. He followed for a short distance. His pa stopped in front of the school house and dropped down off the horse. The horse wasn't his. It was Hoss's. He knew Hoss's horse well enough. "Pa?" He got his attention as he approached.

"Hey boy. How are you feeling son?" He acted as if nothing was wrong.

"What are you doing?"

"Son. I got him." His dad said ecstatically. "Just like I said I would." Kyle was frightened.

Hoss didn't look at him. He kept his head down. His shoulders were slumped and his face bore an ill look. His hands were bound in front of him. "Pa. How did you get him? Did you kidnap him?"

"No son. I arrested him." McCabe looked at his son. The marks around his son's throat were darker, more profound. Even in the moonlight they were profound. He reached his arm out to his throat and stopped before his fingers made contact. The anger in his heart bread just as dark as the bruises. "I'm gonna make sure he pays for what he did to you." They both looked at Hoss who appeared downcast and dejected. Kyle's face did not mirror his pa's.

"What are you doing at the schoolhouse?"

"It's perfect here. Secluded. We got a good view of the outside from here. We can see people coming from a mile away. They can't get too close to us without us knowing. Nobody will bother us. We've got absolute control."

"Why didn't you take him to the jail?"

"Son. They ain't gonna hold him. They's all corrupt. No. If we want to see justice done, we've got to do it ourselves. Come on help me get him inside." He said as he pulled Hoss off the horse. Kyle looked around to see who might be watching. The streets around the schoolhouse were empty. "Hold him." He told his son. Kyle did as he was told albeit frightened of the ramifications. "Make sure he doesn't try nothing." McCabe went to searching Hoss's saddle bags.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking to see if he has any more weapons. We got to take everything we can now. Who knows what we'll need. Once we go in, there's no coming back out." What did his pa mean by that? Kyle was afraid they were both digging themselves into a hole that they wouldn't be able to get back out of. McCabe found nothing but books and writing material in the first bag. In the second he found a cloth wrapped loaf of bread. He glanced at Hoss, then handed it to his son. "Here, take this. There's no telling how long this whole thing will play out for." He pulled Hoss's canteen from around the saddle horn and slung it around his shoulder. He found no weapons but his search wasn't fruitless.

"Where's Marci?"

"Injuns got to us son. They killed her." Hoss scrunched his brows considering these words. _Indians?_

"Come on. Let's get him inside."

~.~

They were still another mile from the edge of town. If they were lucky McCabe would have tried to take Hoss to the jailhouse. Even luckier if he handed him over to Jim. Jim might have been awfully confused with the situation. But if he was smart he'd have taken him.

Little Joe rode in the saddle with his pa. His frame was low indicating he was tiring. Ben, holding the reins with one hand used the other to pull Joe against him. The boy willingly submitted, melting into his pa. Ben continued to hold Joe with one arm. It felt so good to be in his father's arms. To finally feel safe. He felt the heaviness in his body. Sleep was threatening to take over. He wanted so much to give into it but there was so much going on in his head. So much needing to be said.

"I knew you'd find me pa. I just knew it." Ben looked down at his son's frazzled curls. "I was getting more and more lost, but that was ok because I knew that no matter how lost I got you would find me." It felt like something had reached inside him grabbed his intestines and twisted. Thinking about how terrified Joe must have been running all alone in the wilderness. Being chased by a predator. He needed so bad to find his boy. When seconds mattered it seemed they moved like molasses. As quickly as they tried to act, the gap between he and Joe was growing ever wider. All the while horrific thoughts plagued him that his boy wouldn't be reached in time. He didn't want to think about not finding his boy, or finding him, but too late. After he'd succumbed to the cruel elements or the will of a desperate man. Having this sweet, innocent, naïve boy; wonder to his last conscious breath where his father was and why he hadn't been found. He drew him in tight. His boy felt heavy against him. Had a weight to him as if he had drifted off.

"You mind if I ask sir?" Williams strode up next to Ben. "Where did Hoss learn how to track? Did you teach him?" Ben answered with a pained smile. "I only ask sir because… it was…amazing. He followed those tracks like an expert. I mean I've seen professionals track worse. He judged stride, pressure; he was able to tell who came first and even anticipate lost person behavior."

"No deputy, I had very little to do with that."

He thought of the Paiutes. The boys who took Hoss under their wing, who taught him, who befriended him. Those same boys who risked their lives to save Joe's and paid the price for it.

By the grace of God his boy was safe in his arms.

By the grace of God and by the skill of his middle boy. His middle boy who took Joe's place. Now trapped by that man. The man who was all too capable of striking a frail thin boy such as Joe, a boy he wasn't even mad at, so hard it left a bruise. The man capable of gunning down children. What more was he capable of? What would he do to Hoss now that he had him? The real source of his anger.

~.~

Kyle stared out the window of the dark schoolhouse looking for on-comers. Spinning the chamber to ease is mind. His Pa let him hold the second gun he found. Trusted him to cover this view. His pa was sitting in Ms. Harper's chair. His ammo spread out among the desk. His chamber was open and his pa stared down the barrel and cleaned it with his pinky and neck scarf before reloading it again. Hoss sat like a pathetic slump against the wall by the door, not saying anything. Just hugging his legs. His pa closed the chamber again and without holstering his gun walked to the opposite window. He followed his pa with his gaze then glanced back again at Hoss who kept his head low. It was hard to tell in the darkness if he'd been crying. He was awfully quiet if he was. It's been a long time since Kyle has cried. Babies cry. Wimps. Weak men. That's what his pa says. He hasn't seen Hoss cry too often but often enough to know he was one of these weak men. In this way he was better than him. If Hoss was a stronger man he would have fought back a long time ago instead of giving way to tears. Stood up for himself instead of letting it get so bad. He's seen Hoss cry for a lot less. He wouldn't be surprised if he was crying right now. He thought about what he would do if he were in Hoss's situation. Trapped in a room with an armed stranger who wanted to see him hurt. Was that what his pa was to Hoss? He wasn't so sure he wouldn't cry too. If he were in his shoes. He sighed and stared out at the night again.

~.~

"Jim is there. That's his horse." They dismounted and rushed into the jailhouse.

"Is he here?" The father bellowed. Jim stood to greet the intrusion but was put off by the question. "McCabe is he here."

"No."

"He hasn't come in?"

"No sir."

"So Hoss isn't here?"

"Hoss? No nobody sir. Nobody's been here since Harriet's parents came and got her. It's just been Ms. Harper and I." Ben surveyed the room and the occupants within. His eyes met the papers strewn out on the desk and the like ones in Ms. Harper's lap.

"Did you know to expect him?" Roy asked.

"Ms. Harper told me he rode out to your place, said he was going to make sure Hoss paid. That's the last I knew." Ben strode forward curious about the stacks of papers. Wondering if they were what he thought they were. They were in her lap. She would only be reading something she was privy to read. He picked a few up off the desk and scanned the pages. They were written by the hands of children. He read down scanning the words. _"Hit" "struck_", "_kicked", "spit_"; jumped out at him. _"Ugly" "Fat" "Stupid"_ These words were repeated again and again. _"Slapped", 'pinched", "yanked his hair."_ His heart wept for his boy as he read all of what had been happening to him and it all sunk in. He had no idea all this was happening. His boy had been living a nightmare_. "Monster."_ That one caught his attention. He read down a little further. _"Die monster. Die."_

"Oh God." It slipped out of his mouth. It was no wonder his self-esteem took an all-time plummet. Bombarded with words like these. The daily verbal and physical attacks. All this he kept inside. Why? Why didn't he tell anyone? Why didn't he feel like he could tell me? If he would have only known. He could have helped him. He gathered himself. He read the names at the bottom. All names of the kids in his class. Travis, he read. "Kyle was upset all day because he told on us. Ms. Harper was watching him all day so we couldn't do nothing to him. After school we caught up with him on the road. We confronted him about it." He read further down. "Kyle picked up a rock and threw it at Hoss." How's that for proof?

"He told Williams here he was taking Hoss in." Roy explained. It was curious Williams would let him, although judging by the look on Scott's face he figured he didn't have much of a choice. The small boy at his father's side was sporting a pretty good bruise himself, just under his right eye. Something had happened out there. It looked like they were in a battle. "He hasn't been by?"

"No sir. No sign. It's been pretty quiet."

"They should have been here by now." Ben said laying down the papers. "If he wanted Hoss to pay, he should have brought him here."

"I'm afraid it's not that easy." William's said. The men looked to William's to explain. "McCabe seems to be under the impression that we're all corrupt. That we've already chosen a side and it ain't his. That's why he's doing what he is because he thinks we won't." Ben shut his eyes, doing his best not to topple over at this new information.

"Where do you think they would have gone?"

"I don't know."

Ben snapped his fingers. "His ranch."

"We would have seen them."

"Maybe we missed them. He could have strayed off?"

"We would have seen him. There would have been a sign, tracks or something but the tracks came straight into the city. They have to be somewhere."

"He could have circled back."

"Why would he do that? Come into the city just to leave again."

"Maybe to throw us off."

"McCabe thinks he's making a citizens arrest. If he really wants a trial he would want to be in a place he could be found."

"Like his home."

"Okay. I'll tell you what. We'll start at the center of town and work our way out. If by the time we're done we still have no luck, than we'll hit his house or anywhere " Ben eyed his young son. The new light illuminating his dark purple cheek. He couldn't keep dragging him around in the middle of the night amidst all this chaos.

"Jim you ride out to the McCabe place. The rest of us will split up and scour the town.

"Actually I was hoping to keep Joe here." Roy looked down at Little Joe. Innocent, tired eyes peering through a discolored face. His father was right. They couldn't drag this boy around with all that was happening. The boy was injured and worn. This boy changes things. He'd be short a man if he had to leave someone with him.

"I'll stay here with him." Ms. Harper offered. Ben smiled softly with the sincerest gratitude. She stood and offered the boy her seat.

"Little Joe you stay here with Ms. Harper until we return." He was weary with the events of the night. His worry for Hoss wasn't enough to keep his body from shutting down on him. He had little fight left in him to argue.

Ben guided Joe to the chair and sat him in it. He knelt down before him. Staring at his purple face. How could someone hit a small child like this?

"You stay here with Ms. Harper. Be good and do everything she tells you to. I don't need to worry about you too. Okay? Not when your brothers out there needing help."

"You don't have to worry about me pa. I'll be okay. Now that you found me. I'll be okay." Ben smiled and pinched his chin. He moved to stand but Joe stopped him. "You're going to find Hoss too ain't ya pa?"

"Yes Little Joe. We'll find him."

"Pa." Joe was chewing on something.

"What is it boy?"

"I lied pa." Ben was curious with the admission. "To Hoss. I lied. I told him something that wasn't true. It was real bad what I told him."

"What did you say?"

"I told him that I hated him. It's not true though. It's not true. I was just mad at him. For leaving me." The father smiled wanly at his son. "It was the last thing I said to him." His son too young to put into words his ever-deepening well of emotions, uses the simple words he does know. Love and hate. "What if something happens to him and he never knows the truth." Above all the reprobation Hoss has gotten over the years, Ben could imagine how much Joe's words might have crushed him. On top of all others, hearing it from someone he truly loved. This couldn't be the last thing Hoss hears. It wouldn't be fair to Hoss or Joe to end their story with those words. Still, he couldn't leave Little Joe dwelling with these thoughts.

"He knows son. He knows." He kissed his son again. It couldn't be a lie. Hoss had to know Joe couldn't really hate him. Does he? "Get some rest while you're in here. Hoss is going to need you to be strong for him when we get him back."

"Alright pa."

~.~

They started at the Grand Hotel which was at the center of town and circled their way out. Ben was the first to see it.

"There?" He pointed out. "It's Hoss's horse."


	9. Chapter 9 False Imprisonment

**Chapter**

False Imprisonment

"Here we go." Kyle alerted his father. He came to the window to join him."

They watched as the men cautiously approached the horse which was fastened to the fence that encircled the schoolyard.

"Step back son, out of the light." McCabe directed. "There's no telling what these low life good for nothin's are capable of. Kyle stepped out of the light of the moon and into the shadow. He glanced back at Hoss meeting his eyes for the first time since they've been here. His eyes though dry were wrought with fret.

~.~

The men glanced around pondering where McCabe might have gone. They looked at the dark school house and wondered. Ben glanced around the streets and nearby houses and businesses. He just didn't know.

"McCabe?" He finally shouted as he looked back at the dark schoolhouse. "Are you in there?" He was afraid to approach. "Hoss?"

"Stay back." Ben looked at the lawman. He was in there. "I don't want to hurt anybody, but I will." He stepped forward instinctively, not registering the threat. Coffee put a palm on the concerned father which brought him back.

The shouting gathered the attention of curious onlookers. Mostly men from the local saloons. A few stepped out from nearby homes. No one getting too close just close enough to see what the hubbub was all about.

"McCabe? This is Sheriff Coffee. I need to know if that boy is in there with you."

"Why?"

"If that boy is in there we want to talk to him."

"That's not going to happen."

"Hoss? Hoss? Are you in there?" The worried father asked aloud. "Talk to me boy." Hoss looked to McCabe for permission.

~.~

"You keep quiet boy. Not a word." It pained his heart. He wanted so bad to let his Pa know he was there. He lowered his head submissively.

~.~

"McCabe, be reasonable here. We've got a very worried father out here and you're giving him good cause to be. Now, if that boy's in there with you, we want to talk to him."

"Why?"

"We just want to make sure he's okay. That he's not hurt."

"He ain't hurt, which is more than I can say for my son."

"He is in there." Ben exclaimed to the lawmen.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your distance. You better not cross that fence or there will be trouble. I don't want to hurt him, but I will if you make me." Ben's features drooped with the weight of his dread.

"Oh my God." Ben exclaimed.

"McCabe! What you are doing is kidnapping." Roy reasoned on behalf of his friend.

"No, I'm making a citizen's arrest. This boy messed up Sheriff and I aim to make him pay."

"I realize you're upset. Why don't you let the boy go and we could talk about this."

"So you can arrest me, instead of the real criminals. Calling me a kidnapper in front of all these people. Poisoning their minds with your lies. Making it look like I'm the bad guy. I'm doing my civic duty!"

"Nobody wants to arrest anybody."

"That's the problem Sheriff. How many more are you going to let this boy hurt before you do something?"

"McCabe think about what you're asking. He's just a boy who got into a fight with another student. You really want him to be taken away from his family for that?"

"He just about killed my boy. You're making it seem like it's not a big deal, which is only further justifying why I need to do this."

"I just want to handle this civilized like."

"I am being civilized!" He roared. "Which is more than I can say for you. I'm not stupid Sheriff. I already know no amount of talking is going to get you to uphold the law."

"You're taking the law into your own hands."

"That's right. I am. If you ain't gonna uphold the law somebodies got to."

"What do you want?"

"I want one thing and one thing only. A judge that'll try this boy."

"McCabe you're not talking reasonable here. There's not a judge within a hundred miles. Closest ones in Placerville. If he gets the telegram first thing in the morning it's still a day's ride."

"That's alright Sheriff. I'm willing to wait."

"This is ridiculous." Ben fumed. "This was a fight. A school fight. A fight that his boy started. God how could all this be happening? How could he think his son is so innocent?

"McCabe listen to me! I'm Hoss's father."

"I know who you are, Mr. Cartwright." He cut him off. "You're the man who's buying the Ponderosa. You think you can own the world. Well I'm here to tell you there are people that are going to stand up against you. Somebody's going to fight you, and today that somebody is me. You think you can strong arm us? Not today, Mr. Cartwright. Not ever again. You are going to get what's coming to you. Now get me my judge." This wasn't about Hoss and his son at all. It was all about Ben. The land deal. He hated Ben for buying the Ponderosa. His boy was being used as a catalyst to get to him. Does he hate him so much he wants to see his son hurt?

"Jim." Coffee waves him over. "Get to the telegraph office. Send a message to Judge Billington. Make sure you explain to him the situation."

"Yes sir."

"You're going to give him what he wants?" Ben asked when Brown's ran away.

"I'm going to try to get that boy out of there as quickly as I can. But at this point there's no telling how long this thing is going to play out for. We need to get things rolling on that end."

"Even if he gets the message he might not come out. What judge would knowingly put himself in harm's way for a sham trial?

"This is true, but if he doesn't it won't be for lack of trying. We have to at least try."

~.~

"Come on son, help me move these chairs." He started throwing them against the door. We have to make sure no one gets in. Kyle helped push the chairs over. McCabe worked on stacking them up, creating a barricade. He left the teachers chair and desk in place. Aside from that two other desk were left. One for Kyle and one for McCabe which they drug to their respective windows.

~.~

"Williams, go around back. I don't want them trying to leave out that way." The lawman nodded and went off. "Ben keep talking to him. I want William's movements to go unnoticed."

"McCabe, let's be honest with each other here. This isn't about the boys at all. This is about you and me. You are angry with me for the land deal. I'll be honest with you. I was happy to get that land. But I'm telling you right now. That land means nothing to me compared to my boy's. I'm willing to hand it over to you right now, and more, whatever it is you want, if you just give me back my son. How about it? Do we have a deal?"

"I see what you're doing, Mr. Cartwright. You are manipulating all these people. Trying to come off looking like you're the hero. You're the desperate father and I'm what? A lunatic who just wants your land." _YES! _He wanted to scream out. That was exactly how he felt but he pushed it down. "You're trying to buy your son back. Again you're trying to make me look like something I'm not. This is not about the land. This is about your son hurting mine. This is about Hoss being a prisoner until he is tried in a public trial. You uphold the law, you do your part and this will all end. That's all I ask. Just get me my judge."

~.~

William's crept within the trees that bordered the fence line surrounding the school yard. Taking advantage of the shadows they provided. He moved to a spot where he had good view of the back window but could still see the door. He knelt low and waited.

~.~

Forty minutes had passed when Browns comes back with a telegraph in hand. "We got a response Sheriff. Judge Billington's not coming."

"Did you explain to him the situation?"

"Yes sir. I got the feeling that that's why he's not coming. It didn't sound like he wanted his name to be anywhere near associated with this mess."

"He'll be up for reelection next year."

"He said that if we ended up taking the boy into custody that he would make the trip down to try him."

"We have to tell McCabe." Roy said in front of the father. "With any luck…" He let his words trail off. Ben knew what he meant. With any luck McCabe would realize he wasn't getting what he wanted and just throw up the sponge. Ben didn't think that to be too likely but one could hope.

"McCabe." Roy said aloud. "McCabe. We sent the telegraph to the judge in Placerville. We just got the word back. He's not coming." McCabe and his son exchanged looks of incredulity.

"Did you explain to him?" He asks aloud.

"Yes. We did."

"No. It's not true." McCabe said to his son. "Those lying cheats. I bet they never even sent it. "You're a liar." He shouted out to the group outside. "You never sent it. Did you?"

"We did send it."

"Ben. How quickly you forget. I've got your son in here. How easily I could punish him for your mistakes." Hoss looked up disquietly at these words.

"McCabe we're not lying. We sent it." Hoss could hear his father aver.

"No, if you sent it, he would come."

"No."

"I swear I'll hurt him if you don't do what I say." Kyle and Hoss locked eyes.

"We did it McCabe. We did it." McCabe escaped from the window.

"McCabe! Don't you hurt that boy in there!" Ben growled. "You hear me in there?"

~.~

That's exactly what his intentions were. Kyle recognized the signs as so often he's been under the wrath of his father. He jumps up as his father barges over to Hoss lifting him from where he sat.

"Pa?"

~.~

"Go get Rudy."

"The telegrapher?"

"Yes, yes. Go. Make it quick."

"Hoss? Hoss?" Ben calls out desperately.

~.~

"Pa?" Kyle calls to his father, trying to call his attention.

"McCabe listen to me." The father beckons from outside. "We're going to go get Rudy. You could hear it from his lips." The room is still as McCabe stands with the boy in his grasp and Kyle looks on. "Don't you hurt that boy." It was as if each one was afraid to move. Fearing one twitch could set off a firestorm. "If you hear it from him, would you believe us?" They wait like this for something to happen. Hoss fearing that at any minute McCabe would snap and he would be struck. Doing his best to prepare his body and his mind for any such blows. His muscles were stiffened and he stared at McCabe warily, looking for the slightest flinch or flick of the wrist.

~.~

"Just wait, please." Ben plead desperately as he stared into the dark window of the schoolhouse, wondering if his son was being hurt right now. All was still. He didn't know. The not knowing was torturous.

Several minutes pass before Jim comes back with the telegrapher in tow.

"Here he is." The rail thin, young man, stood behind the lawman. McCabe looked out at the window but held onto the boy.

"Rudy. You got to tell him. He has to hear it from your lips. Tell him we sent it." He nodded.

"McCabe listen to me. I got Rudy here. You know Rudy? He works at the telegraph office."

"Yes I know Rudy."

"You may not believe us, but will you believe him?" Silence. "Go ahead, go on. Tell him." Roy urges him on.

"It's true." He stammered. "They sent it. I sent it. They came into my office about forty minutes ago." His nervousness burgeons at the silence. He continues on. "This was his response." He unfolds the paper with trembling hands. "Cannot make trip. Stop. Working on trial in Placerville. Stop. Will come if boy is arrested. Stop."

"He is arrested. Did you tell him he was arrested?"

"Yes. The situation was explained to him."

"Then why did he say that?"

"He doesn't consider what you're doing as a proper arrest. He said if the lawman takes him into custody then he'll come down."

"No. He didn't say all that."

"That's what he meant."

"No. Go back and explain it to him."

"I can't." Roy pulled him back with a pat to his midsection.

"McCabe, the judge isn't coming. Not unless you hand him over to us and let us handle this proper like."

~.~

"Pa, just let him go." Kyle pleads. Kyle tried to keep his tone low. Even. Steady. But Hoss can hear the uncertainty in it. The fear.

"I can't do that." He says to his son before shouting out again. "I see now just how far this corruption goes. You even paid off the telegrapher. How many more people have you got working for you Cartwright? This whole town is on your side, isn't it? I am not going to let this boy get away with what he did. I am not going to let you get away with this. Your boy will pay one way or another. If I can't get a judge to sentence him. I'll sentence him."

"What did he mean by that?"

"He pulled a knife from its sheath and held it at Hoss's throat.

"McCabe, if you hurt that boy in there!"

"Pa? What are you doing?" The panic in Kyle rose significantly. "Pa. Please don't hurt him." He was begging now. "Pa. Listen to me. I'm fine. Pa. I'm not dead. He didn't kill me."

"He would have."

"But he didn't. Pa if you kill him, it'll be murder. They'll hang you Pa." His body seized he clenched his eyes and his fist tightened around the blade as he brought his fist to his own head. He clenched his jaw. He was fighting an internal battle.

"McCabe, you think your son is a victim? Do you know what he's been doing to my son? He's covered in bruises. Have you seen his bruises?"

"Bruises he got while my son was beneath him fighting to breathe?" He shot back.

"Look at him. You'll know that's not true. Those bruises are weeks old. See for yourself."

"You want this boy to be taken from his family? Put into a cell? For what? A fight that your boy started." The Sheriff added.

"That's another lie Sheriff."

"I know you don't want to believe that about your own boy, but it's true."

"You're going to try and turn this on my son? Why am I not surprised? Is there no depth to how low you will sink?"

"Your son has repeatedly assaulted that boy in there. Now, it is not my intention to put blame on anybody. Right now your son needs you. He needs you to stop all this. He's laid up right now and all he wants is for you to stop all this and come back to him." He looked back at his son. They don't know he's in there with him. This could work in their favor.

"These bruises are weeks old. See for yourself." Hoss could hear his pa say. Oh why was his pa bringing this up? He didn't want this man anywhere near him and his pa was giving this man an open invitation to Hoss's vulnerability. McCabe let his eyes glide down the length of Hoss's torso. Hoss felt sickened and terrified. He re-sheaths his blade and grabs for the bottom of Hoss's shirt. Instinctively Hoss grabs for the man's hands and wrestles to tear them away from him. McCabe with his left hand still at Hoss's collar presses his forearm into Hoss's throat, pressing the boy further into the wall.

"Pa!" He wanted to stop him but didn't know how.

McCabe was angry Hoss would even think about fighting this. McCabe grabbed his shirt again. Hoss defenseless and completely under this man's will, didn't fight him this time. His shirt was forced upwards exposing Hoss's shame and Kyle's indiscretions. He looked back at his boy who said nothing to defend himself, then lowered his head. "It don't make no difference." His voice was low and humbled this time. "You're twice his size. You should have known better." He let out a heavy breath and released Hoss.

His pa sauntered back to his space under the opposite window.

~.~

He had an idea. It was risky but so far nothing else has worked. "Ben where you going?" After a few moments, he came back with the stack of papers in hand.

"What is that?" Roy asked.

"Reasoning with him hasn't worked, bargaining hasn't worked, maybe showing him just what Hoss has been living through at the hands of his son, will.

"Are you sure about this Ben?"

"He's believing his son is faultless. Maybe it's time for him to know the truth.

"McCabe. The judge isn't coming but I'm willing to give you what you want. You want a trial. Let's have one. You're charging my son with attempted murder? Let's hear from the witnesses.

This one is from Lita Malvet. She's 7. Would you like to hear what she has to say? _"Kyle and Travis were always being mean to Hoss. They like to slap him and pull his hair."_ Her brother backs up her story. _"They like to hit him and pinch him when he wasn't looking."_

Seeing where Ben was going with this, Roy had his doubts. But he came up with a plan of his own. He grabbed Jim by his collar and pulled him in. "Go get Kyle." He ordered. "Maybe we can get him to talk him down." Jim nodded and went off.

Ben overheard this but kept going. Though not a bad idea, he felt he needed McCabe to hear for himself all that Hoss has been living through at his son's hands. They could finish with Kyle's pleas if he'd cooperate. At that point it may not matter what Kyle would have to say to his pa once McCabe knew the truth.

"Frank Bartlett." He continued. "_One day Hoss was sitting against a tree. Kyle told him he was ugly. He told Hoss that a lot. He told him he was fat too. One day Hoss didn't like it and he said something back that set Kyle off. Kyle pulled Hoss's hair and held on until Hoss apologized."_

Amanda Ridley. _"I sat next to Kyle. Kyle and Travis liked to pinch Hoss while he was sitting at his desk. They liked his reaction. They would pinch him sometimes three, sometimes six, sometimes ten times a day. He would try to ignore them. He'd be reading to himself. They pinched him and twisted his skin making him jerk up. Then act like they did nothing wrong. They'd do it in the schoolyard too. Hoss would be under the tree where he'd like to just sit by himself. Kyle liked to sneak up behind him. Sometimes he would pinch him and run away. Other times he would punch his arm, or slap his head, or yank his hair."_

Sally Ridley, Amanda's younger sister. Their father owns Ridley's stables. _"I was in the livery tending to the stock. Travis and Kyle came in and told me to leave. I overheard them call him names as I walked out. I was afraid that if I didn't leave, they'd do something to me too. I felt bad for leaving. I knew they were going to do something to him. Something they couldn't do at school. I felt bad for leaving, so I didn't go too far away. I waited outside and listened in. I heard Kyle say, "Do you want me to show you what happens to Indian lovers?" I heard scuffling and grunting. It lasted for a few minutes then it stopped. They were talking again, laughing. I heard clinking like they were messing with something on the wall. Then I heard something else. Like a crack or snap of something. After a few of those I recognized that it was something like a belt. Like someone was being whipped. I heard that several times. They were taunting him. Telling him to cry and calling him names. Then it stopped. Kyle and Travis were laughing again. I heard their footsteps approaching the door so I jumped behind some hay bales and ducked down. Kyle and Travis walked right past me with their horses in tow, laughing and carrying on. I watched them ride away. I waited around to see if Hoss would come out. When he didn't, I started to get worried. I wondered if I should go in there after him or if I should go tell my pa or someone else what had happened. I kind of wondered if they killed him. I was just about to go in. I heard him on the other side so I hid again. Hoss guides his horse out. He was holding his stomach. His face was red and dirty. His hair was messed up and so were his clothes. He looked really bad. It looked like he was struggling, trying to get on his horse. After a couple of tries, he made it. He rode away still holding onto his stomach.""_ Ben stopped reading.

"You know the day she's talking about?" Both Hoss and Kyle kept their heads low. One out of guilt and both of shame. "I do. It was a week ago. Of course I didn't know then what had happened. I didn't know anything was happening to my son at all. All this and more my son was keeping to himself. You know how I found out? My youngest saw the bruises. He's the one who came to me. Even after I confronted my boy about it he never told me.

~.~

Kyle didn't know that. He'd just assumed that Hoss told on them. He had every right to. Kyle watched his pa who sat under the far window listening. He clenched and unclenched his fist. He didn't look to Kyle. Kyle could see his pa was brooding but not once did he look up at him to question him. Not once to blame him.

"Harriet's statement is six pages long. Do you want to hear about what she had witnessed?"

Oh he wished he would just stop. Hoss's pa didn't know what he was doing.

"In it she describes Hoss being cornered. Other kids being bribed to hit him. Offered money to fight him. Kyle liked to lick his palm and slap Hoss in the face. On page four she tells of a time when Kyle was calling him names. _"Kyle was good at reading. He liked the stories. He would like to pretend that he was the hero in the stories. He would get the other kids to go along. One time he asked Hoss if he wanted to play, Hoss asked what they were playing. Kyle said, I'm Dr. Frankenstein and you're the monster. Then he ran away shouting "Die monster die." And the other kids joined in calling him a monster and telling him to die. Another day he said "you're too stupid to work on a ranch" and that he should join a circus because of how ugly he is. Hoss had enough and said "I get it, I'm ugly and stupid." Kyle got mad and pulled his hair and slapped him and punched him until he apologized for talking back to him."_

Kyle eyed his pa. He had begun rocking back and forth in agitation. Like he was a bull in a cage ready to charge at whoever came near.

~.~

Travis tells of just one story. _"Two day's after we cornered him in the barn. Hoss's pa came to the school to complain. I told Kyle that Hoss told on us. Kyle left him alone for the whole day, but then we waited for Hoss to get his horse and we waited for him to ride out of town. We followed him out until we were alone, just before we got to Kyle's road. We asked if he told on us and Hoss didn't say nothing. He tried to ride ahead. I went to follow him but Kyle stopped me. He found a rock on the ground and threw it at Hoss's head. Hoss ran away. I could tell that it hurt him. I knew a throw like that could kill a man if it landed right. I didn't see Hoss again for three days after that. There was a small part of me that wondered if we did kill him."_

"From the mouth of babes." Ben held up the stack. "There are stories upon stories of how your son tormented my boy day after day. My boy was living a nightmare. Would you like me to keep reading, or how about we skip to the final witness? Your son. What would he say? Would he admit to all this or deny it? I know it's hard to hear that of your own son. We all want to believe the best in our children. Would he want you to do what you're doing or would he want you to come home? Is this what your son wants? What would your son tell you to do?" Jim came back and whispered in Roy's ear. Ben was curious why he came back alone. Roy troubled, sauntered over to Ben.

"He's not there."

"What?"

"The bed is empty." Ben pondered at the words. If he wasn't there, where was he? Both Ben and Roy looked up at the dark school house together as the possibility came to them.

He stalled for time while he considered his next move. "If their stories aren't good enough for you, how about I get the doctor who examined him to make his statement. He can tell just how bad it really was. I mean, you can see the bruises for yourself, but that's not good enough for you, is it? No, you need him to tell everyone here how bad it was for Hoss. Just how many bruises he has. Is that what you want? He could testify, how large he estimated that rock to be and how a rock of that size being thrown at the speed and distance it was, was almost fatal to my boy."

"Stop stop!" McCabe shouted. A shot rang out, another, another. Three shots in rapid succession and all fell quiet.

The crowd outside went still. The lawmen and the father were impotent. William's who waited in the trees behind the schoolhouse jumped up from his spot and waited. Most concerning of all the schoolhouse was quiet. No one knew what had happened. What to expect. Ben finally voiced his fears.

"Oh my God. Three shots. He could have shot both boys, then shot himself."

"Or put all three into Hoss." Browns added. Roy cringed at the words. The deputy was young and sometimes lacked tact. Ben didn't need this fear but the words were out there now.

"Oh my God!" Ben panicked. "Hoss? Hoss? Are you okay?"

~.~

Hoss looked up to McCabe asking silent permission if it was okay to tell his father he was fine. He was not given the permission he sought. It was as if McCabe found enjoyment in his father's torment. He looked to the window aching to speak. Fighting the urge to let his father know anyways. McCabe stood over him and aimed down, daring Hoss to defy him. Hoss turned his face away fighting the temptation.

~.~

"He killed my son." Ben said, voicing his fears.

"We don't know that Ben. Let me talk to him. McCabe!" He shouted out. "Is everything alright?" The school remained silent adding to Ben's panic. "There were gunshots. What happened?" Pause, dead silence, nothingness. "What happened in there McCabe? Answer us." He said with more force. "Did you get hurt?" He waited. "Did Hoss get hurt?" He waited. "We need to know McCabe."

William's waited for something. For some sign from Roy to charge in. He could hear Roy calling out to McCabe but couldn't hear McCabe's response. It's because he wasn't responding. Either purposefully defiant or because he was dead. Perhaps he had shot himself. If he had why wouldn't Hoss call out? Was it because he shot him first. Is Hoss dead too? If he is? If he failed him? God he hoped Hoss wasn't dead.

~.~

He knew his pa was suffering. He needed to talk to his pa. To let his pa hear his voice. He needed this for himself too. Hoss glanced up again giving defiance serious consideration. The words were in his gut ready to spill out. All at once McCabe swung on him before the boy knew what was coming, striking him in the jaw with his gun hand. With a grunt, Hoss buried his face into the floor as McCabe swung on him again. "Pa stop!" Hoss brought his arms up to block the blows but they had little affect bound as they were. The blows came in anyways again and again. Striking his upper back, shoulder and head. Kyle was frightened at the brutality of it. He reached for his father's arm to pull him away. His father swung him off, then with a full intentional fist swung back and struck his son in his cheek. His son landed backwards on the hard wood floor. Hoss remained balled in a heap.

"This is your fault!" He spurned, drawing down on him either intentionally or recklessly using the pistol to point. Either way Kyle was on the fatal end of the gun. He looked up at his pa, hurt and afraid but not denying that fact. Hoss lay crouched on the floor. He lifts his head just enough to see the treatment of the man's son.

~.~

"Listen to me McCabe, you have to the count of five to show us that boy in there is okay or we're coming in." He looked to the deputy at his side. "Ready yourselves." He counted aloud so McCabe could hear the gravity in his tone. "One… two… three."

William's from his position at the back of the schoolhouse could hear the countdown. He readied himself to join the group at the door.

A figure appeared in the window. "Pa, it's me. I'm okay." He shouts but his voice was broken. Ben watched his son keenly, trying to imbibe as much as he could before his son would be taken from him again and drug back into the darkness. His son refused to look up. He appeared as if he was fighting a battle with himself. Doing his best to not break down. Afraid if he met his pa's eyes he would lose this battle. He kept his head lowered submissively staring at his own hands which braced himself against the bottom sill. Ben caught sight of something. The moonlight gleamed off a metallic object at Hoss's head. He realized Hoss's stance wasn't just one of humbleness, servitude. His head was being pushed forward by it.

His heart fell to the pit of his stomach. He had to get that gun off his boy, but how? His mind raced with the possibilities. His first instinct was to shoot at the man. That would stop him forever. Reason told him doing so would only sure his boy's death. McCabe remained within shadows with his finger on the trigger. Impossible. He wanted to charge in and fight him but that too would only be sentencing his boy to death. There was no way. No way to help his boy. No way to get that gun off his head. The fence quavered when Ben grabbed a hold with both hands to brace himself and keep himself from charging past it.

He stilled his mind and gathered his repose. He took a breath and spoke out to him. "Son are you alright?" Hoss 's eyes braved out to meet his pa's, his head lifting ever so slightly. Just enough so Ben could see the blood that ran from his son's nose, painting his chin. The moonlight reflected off his marred face. Ben's heart ached for his boy. _He'd been beaten._ He shut his eyes to keep his mind from racing again. It pained the father to see how his son hurt. He wanted so much to take his place. After all it was he, McCabe was really mad at. It wasn't he that were in there with this madman though. It was his son. He needed to give his son strength to survive this. He needed his son to be strong for himself. He took another breath and called out. "Listen to me son. I need you to hear me. Are you listening?" Hoss nods his head ever so subtly. "I'm so proud of you it hurts." Do you understand?"

~.~

He looked up at his father and back down. He wasn't sure. The way his father said it was as if it was a coded message. He thought back to the last time he'd heard his father say these words. It was on the day he was telling him to fight. "I'm so proud of you it hurts." Was his father secretly telling him to fight? Hoss nodded his head subtly.

"That's enough." McCabe said coldly and pulled Hoss back into the shadows. Shoving him back down to his spot. "Proud of you huh? Who could ever be proud of something like you?" The words pained Kyle. He struck Hoss everyday with this venom. Hearing it from his pa, being on the outside looking in and seeing all his pa was doing, it just felt so wrong. All of it.

"Maybe they're right pa. Maybe we should just give up."

"What are you saying boy? They want to charge me with kidnapping. Do you understand that? They'd take me away from you forever. Is that what you want? They want to charge you too. Send you to prison as well."

"Didn't you hear the Sheriff? He said he doesn't want to charge anyone."

"Oh don't be so naïve boy. Those are lies. They'll tell us anything just to get us to give up." His pa took his spot near the opposite sill.

~.~

Hours passed in silence and darkness. The March night air was crisp and the stars bright. The chill of the winter was passing but the night still gave evidence to the melting snows over the Sierra's. The barometer was dropping.

Father and son sat under the sills of opposite windows, Kyle wrapped up within the white bed sheet, cradling himself to keep warm.

People were sitting around waiting for something to happen. Ben and the lawmen discussed scenarios, tactics and probabilities. Anything to keep their minds active and strong. The town's folks who were destined to see this drama play out, took seats on porches and walkways, against walls and hitching post.

The night was long. Every nerve worn thin. Each one wanting to close their eyes, desperate for sleep, but sleep would not come. Could not come. For the ones inside, sleep meant the difference between life and death. For Ben and the lawmen it meant not being at ones best. Not having presence of mind. It meant precious seconds lost if they had to act. It meant death for the sweet innocent inside.

~.~

Sleep was threatening to pull Kyle under. He sat dutifully under his sill, spinning the chamber as his arms rested on his drawn up knees. His stomach grumbled and ached. That would at least be something to keep his mind occupied. He got up and stuck the pistol in his waistband at the small of his back, then stepped over to the teacher's desk and unwrapped the bread that sat on top. Tearing pieces off and filling his mouth with them and washing them down with Hoss's water. He thought the pain that was in his stomach was that he ached for sustenance as he missed dinner so it would be only reasonable. But he had trouble getting down more than a few bites. The moment the rations met his empty stomach it sent it into spins. Hunger wasn't the dominant feeling. The twisting in his stomach was something else. Worry.

He set the provisions back in their place and stared at them. He felt kind of bad for taking it from Hoss and not offering him any of what was rightfully his. He could imagine Hoss hadn't eaten either. He considered offering him some but didn't think his pa would approve of that. He imagined his pa must be hungry too. Maybe he should offer him some first. He grabbed them up again and walked over to his pa. His pa dismissed his offering with a wave of the hand. Maybe his stomach was in knots too. With his pa's refusal, perhaps it was safe to offer Hoss some now. He went to Hoss wanting to sit beside him but afraid that act would be misconstrued by his pa. He stood over him in the same manner as he did his pa, maybe a little stiffer, all for show, and held out the bread. Hoss looked up and took a quick glance at the father to see if it would be okay. McCabe looked back through the corner of his eye, but didn't say no. He reached up and tore off the equivalent of a bite or two.

"Water?" He sounded less than human and every bit of the prisoner he was. He handed over Hoss's own canteen and let him drink. He was at their will. Completely dependent on them for his own survival. It didn't make Kyle feel good. This is what he wanted. What he strove for everyday in school. To dominate Hoss. To be in total and absolute control. For his father's sake. So his father would be proud of him. So now that he finally had it, why didn't it feel good?

"You want some more?" He shook his head. Kyle glanced back at his pa then forward again to the boy at his feet. Risking his father's reprobation, he slaked his stance. He had to say something to Hoss lest he never again get the chance. He knelt down to his level. "Listen," His tone was low to so as not to draw unwanted attention, but he was sure his pa was hearing him. "I know it don't mean much to you now, but I'm sorry. For everything. Everything I've done. For tonight and what might happen. I'm sorry. For it all." Hoss felt like he meant those words. He was human. For the first time, he was human. McCabe on the other hand brooded at his son's cowardliness and betrayal.

Kyle took both the bread and canteen back with him and took a seat under his sill. The bread wasn't going that fast. The water was a different matter however. One canteen among the three of them wasn't going very far. He managed to get down a few more bites and washed it down with a bit more water. Kyle wiped at his eyes before donning the lid. He wrapped the remaining loaf back in its cloth.

Hoss couldn't tell, as Kyle's face was in shadow but he wondered if it were tears he'd just wiped away.

"Pa. I want to go home. I'm done here. I want to go."

"Don't panic now. They're trying to break us."

"I'm not panicking. I'm just done. Let's just walk out of here. Let's just leave."

"We can't just leave. I told you, they'd arrest us."

"I don't care. So what if they do? They're going to do that anyways. We're just prolonging the inevitable by sitting in here stubborn like. So what if they do? We'll do a few years then life can get back to normal.

"You're too weak. You'll never survive prison."

"We'll make it through." He continued at his father's demeaning words. "Just the two of us. Like we always do. We always make it through."

"We don't make it through. I do. I have to carry your sniveling butt through everything. I'm the strong one. Without me you're nothing."

"I don't care. Whatever happens, happens." He said fighting down the tears. He pushed it away with anger. "I don't care. I want to leave. Do you hear me? I don't care." McCabe kept his head low. He knelt before his father. "Listen to me pa. You claim you're doing this for me. I'm telling you right now, I don't want it. None of this. I don't care about getting revenge. I don't care about making no one pay. I don't care about the Cartwright's and the stupid land. None of it. I just want to go home pa. I just want both of us to go home. Do you understand me?"

"You're a coward." Kyle stood swelling with anger again.

"What's your plan then? Kill Hoss? Kill ourselves? What's your plan? Huh? Answer me." He slapped his father's gun hand, trying to get his pa to hear him. McCabe snapped up and grabbed his son by his bruised throat shocking both boys. He pushed Kyle all the way across the room when his back met wall, Kyle's firearm clattered to the floor. McCabe held his boy there as the boy struggled and squirmed pitifully. Hoss was shocked to see a father do that to his own son. He was frightened by the sudden turn.

"What did you say to me boy? You miserable imp! I did this for you and you have the gall to talk to me like that." His face became a dark red and his eyes watered beyond his control. For the second time that day the boy struggled to pry large hands away from his throat. "Apologize." McCabe's voice was dark and ominous. Kyle kept his mouth cinched obstinately tight.

His back suddenly arched and he kicked his foot against the wall behind him pushing off of it but going nowhere. His wriggling indicating to Hoss that McCabe had tighten his grip. He could see the boy was in pain as he struggled to breathe. His face became a crimson red and looked like it was beginning to swell. His eyes watered and bloodshot.

"I'm sorry." The boy mouthed the words more than spoke them, as no sound could escape his throat.

"What? I couldn't hear you." McCabe taunted keeping his grip tight.

The whole scene took on a frightful familiarity. Hoss remembered back to the time he'd lost control and took his emotions out on Joe.

_"Hoss, you're hurting me. Get off. Get off."_

"_Say sorry."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Say sorry."_

"_Please. I'm sorry."_

Joe hadn't deserved that. It wasn't even Joe he was mad at. He thought of where that anger stemmed from. Something that had happened to him earlier in the day.

_You're about as stupid as they come."_

"_Yeah I get it. I'm stupid and I'm ugly."_

"_What'd you say to me? Don't talk back to me." Kyle said with a slap. "You better know who it is you're talking to like that. Apologize. Tell me you're sorry." He yanks his hair back. Socks his arm. "Say it Hoss. Say it."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_What?"_

"_I'm sorry."_

All at once a wave of enlightenment washed over him. No. It couldn't be true. Hoss didn't want to believe it. It was, like Hoss had been given a window into Kyle's world. This wasn't a one-time event for his classmate. Hoss always assumed he was the only victim in all this. He never considered the possibility that Kyle too could have been a victim. Like Hoss who took his aggression out on Joe for the abuse he suffered at Kyle's hands, all this time Kyle had been acting out his own aggression's for the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father. It suddenly became clear. This was the life he lived.

The boy wriggled pitifully and cinched his eyes. He mouthed again. "I'm sorry." His arms fell limply at his sides. All at once Hoss lost it. With everything he had in him, he charged at the man. Knocking him off his feet, forcing him to drop his boy.

~.~

There was a clatter of wood against wood as tables and chairs went scattering. Looking to Roy, Ben had lost color in his face as he imagined the worst. The men were resolute all at once. There was a battle happening inside. They had to go in now.

William's heard it too and propped up. Just like before, he waited for a sign to go in. Then he saw it. Roy, Browns and the father had made it to the door. He bolted from his position to meet them at the door and join in their efforts.

~.~

With bound hands, Hoss swung his fist down on him. Kyle coughed on the floor trying to gather his repose. McCabe lifted his arms to protect himself. The fire burned in the teens eyes. Pummeling his fist down upon him in a rapid flurry of blows, he hit him for the way he treated his own son and what he had turned him into. He hit him for holding him there and for the constant threats. He hit him for what he did to the lawman. He hit him for Hopsing and the threats he made to his father. He hit him for Little Joe. He hit him again for Little Joe. It wasn't enough. It could never be enough. He hit him again as he thought of how he struck Joe. Again, for how he took Joe from his home. Again, for how he forced Joe to run out in the middle of the forest in the dark. All alone and scared, running for his life. He hit him again, and again, and again.

~.~

The men hit the door but met resistance. They realized then that the door had been barricaded, adding further stress that their entry would be delayed. There was a battle happening and they couldn't get in there quick enough and now McCabe knew they were coming. With their delay it would be enough time to finish Hoss. They slammed the door together in unison using their shoulders to make entry. It was still slow.

"Get him off me!" The man shouted ferociously. _For Little Joe, for Little Joe, for Little Joe._

"Hoss stop!" Kyle forced out the shout through his sore throat.

Hoss registered him but was determined to see this through. McCabe would never be able to hurt anyone ever again. He would see to it or die trying.

The boy grabs for the gun in which his father had entrusted. Seeking higher ground, a position of authority he stumbles to the desk. Kneeling on top the desk, pistol in hand he draws down on Hoss.

"Get off him!" He commands again.

The men crashed through the door. The tall black figure lifted the firearm in their direction. A single shot hit the dark shadow who went down.

"Kyle!" The shout came from the lower of the two figures battling it out on the floor. "I didn't want to have to do this boy." Hoss lowers his eyes from the bloody mess beneath him to the pistol in his gut. Ben hears the threat and sees something was terribly wrong by the way his boy though winning had all at once stopped fighting. Though he didn't see it, he knew instantly what was wrong as the hammer clicks back.

Right now Hoss wished he was Little Joe. He had only one move left and this was going to be a question of agility. Something that little boy would have an easier go of pulling off, but it was all he had left to go by. He hit his gun hand and scurried off in the other direction towards the side wall fully expecting to get shot in the back, which was exactly McCabe's intentions before an array of shots rang out stopping him from ever moving again. Hoss slumped into the corner in a tight ball. Nobody knew if he'd been shot or not.

"Hoss, Hoss." The father was right on top of him. "Have you been hit?" Every nerve was screaming in his body, to the point that he didn't really know. Overcome with emotion he wraps his arms around his pa's neck. The action sort of answered the question for the both of them.

The deputy walked around the desk to view the figure he'd shot. His stomach churned at the site. "Oh my God. It's the boy. I didn't know it was the boy." His leg was twitching, his mouth pooled with blood. Blood bubbled from a whole in the gape of his neck. His eyes were wide and terror-stricken.

"Get the doctor." Roy ordered. Browns was out the door.

_That's enough. You're done crying now. You're embarrassing me and you're embarrassing yourself. Acting no better than a baby. You've been walking around here sulking for weeks now and I'm sick of it. You're ma's dead and she ain't ever coming back. No amount of sulking or feeling sorry for yourself is going to change that. It's time you start acting like a man. Now, you get your butt up and get back to work. I swear by God, if I see one more tear come out of you, I'll give you a reason to cry._

His eyes glazed over past the lawman. She was there now. In the room. Luminous. Stretching her arm out. Reaching for him. He felt no more pain. An odd sensation of peace swam over him. The lawman looked down on him, keeping a trembling palm against the hole in his neck. The boy was staring beyond him, at nothing. He gurgled as he let out the air he was holding onto. Where once in his eyes there was life, a sparkle; now there was only darkness and he breathed no more. His wide sightless eyes locked into oblivion.

"Oh my God." Roy placed his hand over the boy's eyes closing them forever. "It all happened so fast." The lawman took his deputy by the shoulders. "I thought it was McCabe. I thought it was McCabe."

"It's okay son. It's okay." He cajoled as he lifted the deputy to his feet.

"I swear to God, I thought it was McCabe."

"It's okay. Come on." He guided the young deputy out of the room.

Hoss saw only the legs of the boy who for too long was the source of his greatest fear, sticking out from beside the desk. He had no fear of him now. Despondency and grief he felt for the boy. The boy who in their last moments together were in kindness, regret, and repentance. He wanted to look. He overheard the lawmen. He knew what had happened but he didn't _really_ know. He wanted to know. He wanted to see for himself. His father saw what his son was trying to do. Ben lifted him up and embraced him. Pressing his boy into him. He glanced behind him at the boy laying prone. What he could see was that his shirt is soaked in blood. He imagined the abhorrent image. He guided his son towards the door. Again he felt his son moving to look.

"No son." With a guiding hand he pushed his son's face away. This time Hoss accepted this. What he saw instead was a desk. On top of this desk was a half wrapped loaf of bread and a spilled canteen. The bread they shared. Symbolically, circumstantially broke bread. What was to be his last meal, they shared together. Hoss pushed his head into his father's breast. Like this, both in deep embrace.

Ben guided his son out of the room and down the schoolhouse steps. He guided him across the courtyard and through the crowd of onlookers. They bypassed Hoss's horse and left him standing tied to the hitching post. Across the street they walked through the town of curious and sympathetic bystanders. Hoss was wondering where his pa was taking him. A hint of dread filled him as he was guided towards the jailhouse. A petrifying thought crossed his mind that his pa was turning him in. That after all this, it still wouldn't be enough to escape punishment for what he had done; and maybe now it would be worse. Maybe now he would be blamed for the death of Kyle and his father. He broke down into choked sobs. He didn't beg his father to stop. He was terrified of the wrath he must face, but face it he must. He learned that now. Face it he must. His arms trembled as he held his pa.

Ben wasn't sure why his son had broken down all at once, except that maybe the events of the night had finally caught up to him. He held his son tight and kept going.

The lamp was kept low. She rose from her chair upon seeing the men enter. Ms. Harper was there waiting for them. Her face was soft and full of worry. Hoss's bruised face told the story of the battle he'd been through. Her jaw stiffened before meeting the eyes of the father. He asked the silent question.

"He's in here." She guided him to the first cell which laid slightly ajar. Inside a small bundle was curled beneath a white shawl. Ms. Harper's shawl. Ben looked down at his sleeping son. Hoss stood behind his pa. His brother was here. Joe stirred, feeling the presence before him. He creaked his eyes open one at a time.

"Pa." He croaked.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"I wasn't sleeping." Ben smiled softly. Yes he was. Joe may not have thought so with as light as it was. Ben could imagine his son slipping in an out as he would be consumed with his exhaustion but his love and concern for his brother would keep him from slipping too far away. Joe saw Hoss standing behind. He was about to say his name but found it wouldn't come out. Ben looked behind him in a quirky smile. As if to say see, I told you I'd bring him home. Hoss stepped forward and knelt before his brother's cherub face. "Hoss." He finally croaked. Joe placed a soft hand on Hoss's bruised cheek, asking no questions, seeking no explanation. He knew. Somehow he knew. The details didn't matter. But he knew Hoss went to battle for him. Like a white knight in Adam's fairy-tales. Hoss went to battle and won. He wrapped his arms around his brother's neck. Hoss lifted him up pulling him into a full embrace.

"You rode a horse Little Joe." Hoss lauded his brother. Bringing forward Joe's accomplishments. Just how brave he had been. "I'm so proud of you."

"You said, you'd never leave me." Joe pulled away and they locked eyes. "You said we'd grow old together." The words stung.

"I'm sorry."

"I couldn't make you a liar." Joe went back into the hug. Hoss smiled pitifully.

"Oh Little Joe. I'm going home."


	10. Chapter 10 All Good Things

**Chapter**

All Good Things

The exhaustion took the tot half way on the road home. Little Joe fell asleep side saddle against the chest of his brother. It was Hoss he needed to be with right now. The best friend he'd almost lost. That's the one he needed to feel next to him. That's what offered him peace. They rode in silence. Ben so grateful to have both boys returned to him. Safe. Mournful of the young boy who was lost. Though he was the source of so much of his son's pain, he didn't wish for him to die. He could have had so much life left. His father had muddled his mind. Made him think his actions were ok, but with enough time he might have grown out of it. Now he'd never have that chance. To live a good and fulfilling life. The deputy who took his life would have to forever live with that guilt. Though he had saved his son, he would never forgive himself for the boy he'd been forced to kill.

He knew Hoss would continue to struggle with this too. Try to settle things right in his mind. Put the pieces back together. He'd have to watch out for that. Be there for him when he needed him. But his boys were safe. Thank God they were safe.

It wasn't until Ben saw the horses tied to the rail post in front of his house that he remembered. He shut his eyes wishing it weren't true. God, with what everything else Hoss has had to deal with tonight, not this too. It seemed so distant now. So long ago. It could have been a dream. Except the proof was in his yard. He wished he could have prepared his son for this. Hoss looked to his pa confused as to why his friends were there. At the height of the madness, Ben had forgotten all about them. How could he have been so stupid? He saw the horse and buggy too. The doc was still there. Hoss looked at his pa curiously. Ben slid down from the saddle and went around to Hoss who silently asked the question. There were no words he could say that would explain the trouble he would find behind those doors. At this point they would both get there answers inside. Once Hoss sees for himself, he could fill in the rest. He tenderly pulls the sleeping boy into his arms.

Hoss slid down and followed his pa who was cradling Joe like a babe. Hearing the rider's approach, the doc opened the door for them. He stopped his greeting at the sight of the small boy with a bruised eye unconscious in the arms of his father. "Is he?"

"He's alright. He just needs a bed."

"They're in the boy's room." He explained. The teen whose face fared worse than the little ones peered around his pa seeking for answers. Martin was silently screaming for his own answers.

There was plenty of time for explanations whence he could get the sleeping child into a proper bed. With the two Paiute brothers occupying Hoss and Joe's bed. Ben took the sleeping boy up the stairs to his own room and laid him in his bed. He slips off the boy's shoes and socks and reaches down to pull the blanket over his petite child. Joe rolls over as he does and puts a hand on his father's face and looks at him with heavy eyes as if to see if he were still real. "Thank you Pa." He croaked. "Thank you for bringing him home." Ben places his own hand over his boys. He slides his lips to it and gives the small hand a peck before removing it from his cheek and placing it underneath the covers. Joe's lids fell closed. He rolled over and fell asleep.

"Are you alright?" Doc Martin asked the teen of the bruises that marred his face.

"Why are my friends here?" He questioned, ignoring his own quandaries. Martin was at a loss for words. Hoss didn't know. His father hadn't told him. Not a moment too soon Ben walks back down the stairs, into the living quarters to rejoin them.

"How is Hopsing?"

"He's good."

"My foreman told me he'd been hurt."

"It's not bad. Took a good blow but he'll be fine. He was up with me for a while. When there was nothing more for him to do, I gave him something to help him sleep."

"Pa, what's going on?" The two men lock eyes silently exchanging mountains of information. Ben wondering if Martin had told him anything. The doc responding with a no. You should probably tell him. Give him some forewarning before he goes in.

"Son, something happened tonight. Before you were taken." He paused struggling for the words. "Sit down a moment." He ushered his son to the Windsor and kneeled before him so his eyes were on the same level as his son's. "The reason why Little Joe was able to get away, was because your friends saw him. They intervened and gave Joe a chance to escape but in doing so they got themselves hurt." Hoss remembers McCabe telling Kyle that Indians killed his horse. He was beginning to understand it were his friends McCabe was speaking of.

"How? What happened to them?"

"Little Feather was trampled by a horse. Walks Like Bear was shot." Hoss clamped his eyes as he processed the information. After a few heavy breaths he gathered his senses and asked.

"How are they? Are they going to be okay?" To this Ben looked to Doc to explain. They both looked to the doc now. The doc pulled a chair from the dining table and sat in leaning close to the boy. "Hoss, Walks Like Bear was dead before I could get to him. Ben grimaced and dropped his head. His boy took the news like he was being stabbed right in the gut from beyond the grave. McCabe wasn't quite finished with him yet. Wasn't ready to give up the fight. He'd come back to deliver one more crippling blow to his son. Now Ben wasn't sure he'd want to ask about Little Feather. He didn't know if his son could handle anymore news like this. _God_, he prayed, _let there be some good news in all of this_. "Little Feather collapsed shortly thereafter. He's got a slow bleed in his abdomen." Ben let out a defeated sigh.

"He's alive though?" The boy asked.

"For now."

"Is he going to die?" He asked at the Docs ominous response.

"I don't know. I've done all I could for him. It's a waiting game now." Hoss was weighted in heavy sorrow. "But he's young." The doc encouraged. "He's healthy, he's strong. These are all odds that are in his favor."

Martin glanced to Ben seeking permission to pry. He felt he should, as a doctor at least ask.

"How are you doing son?" What a queer question for the doc to ask, with all that is happening. The boy thought he was speaking emotionally, but for the moment at least, his concern was for his outward injuries. The emotional ones would be dealt with in time. He sought to make that clear to the boy. "Hopsing told me about Joe. I see he took a pretty good blow to his face." Hoss glanced to the stairs his brother slept up. "I can also see that you were in quite a battle yourself. Would you like me to take a look?" He shook his head.

"I'm fine." Martin was cautious to accept this.

"Fine like you were a week ago, fine?" The memory of last week only brought about more anguish. How all this led up from that moment.

"I'm fine." Hoss forced out through near tears. Martin looked to Ben to see what the father would want him to do.

"What about Young Wolf?" Hoss interrupted their silent conversation, asking in a way as if expecting more bad news. For once he was able to offer sanguine.

"He escaped injury for the most part. He was grazed by a bullet to his upper bicep. Took off some skin. He's got a pretty good friction burn which I bandaged. He's in there now with his brothers. Would you like to go in?" Hoss imbibed the question before giving a subtle nod. "Come on. I'll take you." He took Hoss's hand and guided him up. With his pa's hand resting on his shoulders, the doc guided the boy into the stuffy room.

The room was filled with incense courtesy of Hopsing. Hoss recognized the aroma as licorice and rhubarb. Hoss stood near the door as if he was afraid to approach, taking in the room. Walks Like Bear was in Joes bed. Little Feather in his. Young Wolf sat at a chair at Little Feather's side.

He pushed past his fear and skulked to his friend's other side. His lips were blue. Hoss observed. Other than that, he appeared to be sleeping. Young Wolf was watchful of the friend. Respectful, giving him room as he processed the matters before them. Martin and Cartwright stood behind the boy like guiding spirits. Hoss looked down at the blanket's covering his friend wondering what was beneath them. He cautiously took hold of one end. Martin and Ben exchanged apprehensive glances. Hoss lifted the blanket and pulled it back. The breath was stolen from his lungs as a wave of fear washed over him. _Oh God. _He could see now it wasn't sleep that took his friend. His abdomen was near black, and distended. He was horror-struck at the sight. His father put his hands on his son's shoulder again. At this Hoss dropped the blanket and turned to bury his head in his pa. Father and son locked into each other in deep embrace.

After a few moments like this Ben asked his son. "Would you like to leave?" To which Hoss shook his head.

"Perhaps you'd like to sit with him?" The doc asked pulling a chair close to his friend. Hoss agreed and the two men helped the boy to the chair. "Maybe we should give the boy a moment." Martin suggested not just for the boy. He felt like he needed to talk with Ben outside of his presence. The silent conversations they were having around him wasn't cutting it. Martin needed to know what happened out there.

When the men had left the room, Young Wolf asked. "Your brother is safe?"

"Yes." He muttered. Young Wolf dipped his head letting this ruminate. At Young Wolf's repose, Hoss had to let him know how grateful he was at their efforts in helping to get Joe back. "Thank you." Young Wolf said nothing to Hoss's praise. In fact he said no more.

The conversation Doc Martin had with Ben was nice and long. Done over two steaming cups of coffee which Ben brewed himself as Hopsing had retired for the night. Ben told Martin of Joe's flight through the wilderness and Hoss's experience in the schoolhouse. He told of the Father and son. Two lives lost.

"It's a lot for any man to handle. Let alone a boy such as Hoss." Ben repined. "And now this."

"And now this." Ben agreed.

"Listen Ben, in light of what has happened, I could imagine I'll be needed in town. I was planning on heading back anyways when you came in. If you'd like me to stay on for your son, I will."

"No. I think the days ahead are going to be quite busy for you. You're going to need your rest where you can get it."

"At the very least I should check on Williams, but in the instance they might want me to examine the bodies."

"I understand."

"I'll come back tomorrow to check on the boys. All of them."

"Thank you."

With the master of the house finally returned and Little Feather's best friend at his side, Young Wolf felt better for leaving. Little feather was in good hands. He had to get to his tribe and tell them what had happened. His people were probably sick with worry. Their mother was probably sick with worry. Hoss guaranteed he would stay up with him. Young Wolf knew he would. He was a good friend.

"Mr. Cartwright." Young Wolf comes in. I too must go. My tribe must know of what took place here. Be much worry. I bring back men. Take brothers way."

"Young Wolf." Ben stood. "Are you sure this is what you want? You are invited to stay as long as you need."

Martin cautioned. "I don't think Little Feather is in any condition to be moved."

"White doctor generous with white medicine. But white medicine not make better. I take brother to heal by tribe medicine." At their apprehension he added. "This is what must happen. The sun is coming. I return when sun is high."

With demur, the men saw Young Wolf out and let him ride away. When the young man was out of sight, Martin turned to Ben. "I should head back myself."

"Yes. Thank you for everything you've done."

"If there's any changes let me know. I will try to make it back as soon as I can."

"Will do." When the doc had left, Ben went to join his son in silent vigil. They sat at the boy's side. Ben turned the lantern light low, anticipating the morning sun which was turning the sky. He knelt at the boy's side and prayed. Hoss prayed too. After a while Ben took the other chair and continued his vigil.

~.~

The house remained silent even as the sun became high. Little Joe had slept in and so had Hopsing. About 10 in the morning Ben and Hoss awoke to the shift in the air. They had both only lightly dozed but neither had even meant to do that. The exhaustion they both felt could only be fought for so long. Something had happened though. Just now. They both felt it. They looked to each other for explanation. Had Young Wolf returned? They listened intently. All was silent. No. The change wasn't out there. It was in here. They both looked to Little Feather now. Hoss who was closer watched him keenly. His father had come from his chair and around to the other side of the bed. Ben looked at the still, thin framed boy. He placed a palm on his head and face. Hoss could see it before his father confirmed. He'd stopped breathing. He looked to his father with pleading eyes. He didn't want it to be true. _Do something._ He silently begged.

"Oh son." The boy lowered his head and wept.

By mid-afternoon, Young Wolf had returned. A few more braves older than he, in their twenties perhaps, were at his side. Two makeshift travois' trailed behind their horses. Ben's ominous greeting at the door though silent spoke volumes. Young Wolf paled and pushed past running into the room his brother's had laid and stopped at the sight of his friend who was whimpering at Little Feather's bedside. His face buried in the sheets. He approached Little Feather's motionless form. Staring down on him. Watching keenly for signs of life. Hoping he'd misread the panged expression of the father and weeping of the boy. Little Feather remained still. Lifeless. He hadn't taken in a single breath. Not one, however small. He placed a hand on his ashen face. It was cold. Hoss choked on his tears. He'd gotten his answer. He hung his head as the realization came to him. He had returned to not one dead brother, but two. He had lost them both.

The father had come in to the room. "I am so sorry." Young Wolf acknowledged the father was there but gave him no words. He pushed past him out of the room to the waiting braves outside.

With the golden sun high in the sky, the group of young braves, ceremoniously strapped the bodies of their young kin to the travois' to make the journey back home. When they had finished, the three mounted their horses. Ben stopped Young Wolf and again offered his condolences.

Without looking at the father he spoke something Ben could not understand, then kicked his horse and rode out. One of the two braves went to follow. The other acted as if he was going to follow but stopped. He turned to the father.

"He say, 'your boys are safe and mine are not.'" He nodded slightly then kicked his horse out to join his companions.

Little Feather was brooding. He had refused to speak a word more to Cartwright. The only words he'd spoken to him had been in his own language and needing translation. This concerned the father. He felt for the boy who was obviously grieving.


	11. Chapter 11 Burying Ghosts

**Chapter**

Burying Ghost

When the braves were gone Ben guided his son to his bed upstairs. Little Joe was waking as Hoss was collapsing. Ben ushered Joe out to let Hoss sleep. Hopsing was kind enough to care for Joe for the day as Ben felt too heavy to even move. He'd given Hopsing a handwritten note to give to Reagan, asking that he take it to town and give it to the doc. Then he positioned himself on the settee and slipped away into the darkness of dreamless slumber.

Hopsing after handing over the note as Ben had requested had busied himself and Little Joe. Both with shiners. Little Joe finding some amusement with the comparison and companionship. Hopsing just feeling so blessed the little one was back home.

It had yet to be explained to Hopsing what all had taken place out there. Joe couldn't provide many answers but that Hoss's friends had save him and given him a chance to escape. He told of how Hoss had found him in the forest. He told of the man finding them both and Hoss trading himself to save him just as the man wanted all along. Joe didn't know much else. He was taken to the jailhouse and there he would wait for hours for his pa and brother to return. When his brother did return he appeared worse for wear.

Ben missed lunch but gained enough strength back to join them for dinner. The air in the house was different. Somber. Hoss had missed both meals. Hopsing had accommodated for this by making some special soup and offering to take it to the sleeping boy. Ben took it up himself. Hoss wasn't sleeping though. He was crying. Laying in the large bed and soaking the sheets. Albeit silently. His sobs ceased at his father's presence. Ben walked in and placed the soup on the nightstand, then sat next to his son. With a gentle hand on his arm he asked.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Hoss answered with a shake of the head. Ben lowered his head and let it be.

He had come up again sometime later with Joe. By this time Hoss's eyes were dry but swollen. Ben had offered to take Hoss back down to his own bed. Understandably Hoss had refused, saying he didn't want to lay in the same bed his friend had died. Though Little Joe had slept through the whole ordeal of Hoss's friends and didn't know much of what they were talking about, he picked up on enough and decided that he wasn't going to sleep in that room by himself. Without opposition the three shared the bed.

~.~

The next morning Hoss still refused to get out of bed. Ben had let him stay as his body had taken much abuse and was still on the mends. About the time that Hopsing had finished clearing the remnants of lunch from the table, there was a knock. It was Roy at the door.

"It's good to see you. Won't you come in?" Roy removed his hat before stepping through the threshold.

"How's the boy?"

"He's sleeping."

"But how's he doing?" Ben furrowed his brow.

"He's struggling. I'm not sure if you've heard, but his friends died yesterday."

"I heard. Martin told me."

"He's been bed ridden since." Roy dropped his head and used his toe to play with some imaginary object on the floor.

"Come in Roy. Take a seat." He guided his friend to the settee. "Would you like some coffee?"

"I would Ben. Thanks." Ben called for Hopsing who got right to work.

"How's William's holding up?" Ben asked taking his seat on the Windsor.

"Truthfully, he's been touch and go for a bit now."

"How so? I didn't think his injuries were that serious."

"No, he's fine in that regard. He's been considering leaving though. Brown's and I have been talking to him. Trying to get him to stay."

"He's thinking about leaving?"

"Oh, not the town, just this line of work."

"I'm sorry to hear that. He's a good deputy."

"Was."

"So he is leaving?"

"After what he saw yesterday his decision had been cemented. Nothing Brown's or I could say could get him to change his mind. He turned in his badge an hour ago."

"What did he see?"

"Well, that's actually what I came out here to talk to you about."

"Oh yeah?"

"The mortician was preparing the bodies for burial and he came across something strange he thought I and the doc oughtta see."

"What was that?"

"Bruises Ben. Deep set."

"Kyle?" Roy nodded. Ben reflected, wondering over the actions of his son. Was Roy accusing him again? "But that doesn't make sense. The other kids in the class said Hoss never fought. Hoss never hit him back. Not until that day. He had to have gotten them from someplace else. The other kids at school."

"Now, Ben. I didn't come up here to put anymore blame on that boy. God knows he's been through enough. I'm here as a friend Ben, not a lawman. A friend who just needed to bend another friend's ear. I did some work. Aside from talking again with the other students and with Ms. Harper, they again confirmed your boy's story. Hoss never hit back." Ben sat back in his chair relieved and confident now with his theory. "Now Ben before you say it." Roy waves his hand to stop his words. "I asked about the other kids. Aside from confirming that Hoss never hit back, they also confirmed that Kyle didn't start fights with any other kids and nobody started fights with him. I did a bit more work trying to figure out where these bruises might have come from."

"…and? Did you have any luck?"

"One of the students, Travis. I think he knew a lot more than he was telling me. Like he was holding something back, but he told me enough."

"What did he say?"

"He told me where to look." Ben asked with a tilt of the head. "The ranch hands, Ben. The men that worked for McCabe. He said they'd know something."

"Did they?" Roy gulped and lowered his head.

"Everybody knew of McCabe's temper. How quickly he'd flip on the drop of a dime." Ben was starting to get a clear picture. "They said it were the same with them. That he'd lose their temper with them. A few times he'd even ventured out to strike one of 'em. They said that didn't happen too often though. Especially after one of them struck back. That man had been fired by the next day but they said McCabe was a lot more cautious with where he put his fist. Most commonly it was his son that took the brunt of his aggression. They said McCabe would get to fuming. You know about all kinds of weird things and go home and take his frustrations out on the boy. They said things went on in that house." Ben lowered his eyes in consternation.

"Why didn't they ever tell anyone?"

"They said, they knew he got knocked around but they claimed they didn't know how bad it really was for him." He breathed a heavy sigh. "and they said they didn't want to lose their jobs. Can you imagine that Ben? They were more concerned for their jobs than for this boy." Ben understood now, when Roy said he wanted to bend his ear. It was Roy who was struggling looking for a familiar face to voice his troubles. We all thought McCabe was harmless. He made threats but never made good on them."

"He was harmless to everyone but his son."

"And unfortunately Hoss."

"and Joe."

"He was a coward. He couldn't stand up against real men. So he vented his frustrations out on the defenseless."

Kyle had an instinctual love for his pa. He wanted nothing more than to have that love returned. It's a shame. Ben reflected. In his last moments his love and devotion led him to make a snap decision. The need to protect his pa, the very man who abused him, had cost him his life.

~.~

Roy had left hours ago and night was falling. Hopsing prepared the table for supper and Little Joe played with his doll on the living room floor. Ben could hear the riders approach. They weren't riding hard, just strolling but there were more than one which is why he supposed he picked up on them. He opened the door as they came up the porch. Three braves, young men, stood before him. Ben nodded courteously at the same time swallowing past the lump in his throat. He had no idea what their intentions were. He hadn't recognized any of them. All new faces to him. If they were here to take revenge for their fallen, he was in no way prepared to do battle. If they charged they would reach him before he could reach his pistol.

"Won't you come in?" He decided courteousness to be the more tactical route at least until he discovered their intentions but they refused this offer.

"No. Cartwright. Our stay won't be long." Little Joe had gotten up and was now coming over to him. He wanted to shoo his son to safety, but didn't know how without alerting and perhaps inadvertently offending the braves. That action could bring about negative results.

"How can I help you?"

"We have come to give message."

The braves had departed without incident. Ben watched them ride away before closing the door between them. Then went up to his room to talk to Hoss.

~.~

They had been treated like kings upon arriving onto the Paiute camp. A little girl stood behind her father, which so happened to be the venerable tribal leader, and gave Joe a shy smile. She offered the boy her age a white flower. Which he gladly accepted.

Their presence wasn't welcomed by everyone however. "This is a sacred ceremony." It was Young Wolf who admonished their existence as he charged forward into the group of his people. "Your presence here spoils the ground."

"My son just wants to pay his respects." He'd explained.

"You are not wanted here. Go away."

"I invited them." Chief Winnemucca spoke. After eyeing his father, Young Wolf tramped to Ben and stood inches from his face challenging him.

"Young Wolf." The chief cautioned.

Young Wolf heard his father but didn't stand down. He addressed Ben. He needed to say his peace. "That man killed my brothers. It was my right to take his life, but that right was taken from me. You took that right from me Cartwright. I was supposed to kill him. Not you. Me. It was _my_ right."

"Young Wolf!" Winnemucca chided, silencing his son. With filial piety, Young Wolf stepped aside.

Hoss stood on one side of his pa, Joe on the other. The moments to follow were dreamlike, surreal. The ashy smoke filled his nostrils, the rhythmic beat filled his ears. The mournful dirge that accompanied the beats were the closest that music has ever sounded to real cries. Hoss stared on, in a daze as his friends' burn. Watched as their souls were carried skyward.

When the ceremony was over the Indians broke bread. Ben and his boys were invited to join in the feast. The women swooned over Hoss with many offerings, encouraging him to eat. The bruises on both of his boys had darkened in color. With Little Joe it was the one under his eye which had spread into his socket and down his cheek. Hoss, who had taken multiple blows with a pistol in hand had a considerably more colorful face. His bruises significantly more severe. Hoss was quiet. The most serious of his wounds kept inward but the women mothered over him. When they offered him all he could eat they dressed him with salve and herbs. Not a one of them spoke English, but they hadn't needed to. The language they spoke was a universal one. One of compassion. Their deep loss had not kept them from caring for the boy whose outward injuries reflected the battle he'd been in. Hoss managed soft and subtle smiles, more out of respect and appreciation for their kindness and more importantly their forgiveness. His son was hurting though and he could see every smile, no matter how small, took great effort. Joe on the other hand paying no mind to his own injury had got caught up in chasing the little girl who had offered him a flower around the open field. After respectfully getting some bites down himself, Cartwright watched his little one play. He smiled and reflected at the innocence of it. Joe was quick to bounce back on his feet. Hoss on the other hand would take some work.

"Do you remember this knife Mr. Cartwright?" Young Wolf came from behind breaking him from his reverence. Ben slid his eyes down at the question. Young Wolf now stood beside him playing with the blade in his hand.

"Yes. I gave it to you when you and Adam were young."

"It has been many uses, but not so great as the one that is to come." Ben pondered at his words. "Last night, while in sweat lodge, praying to Great Spirit, a vision came to me. You and I were at war. I with my people on one side. You with your people on the other. A great battle came between us and in that battle your son, Mr. Cartwright, was delivered onto me. This knife, was on his throat. _I,_ was holding the knife. With this knife, I will have my revenge." These words resonated within him.

~.~

Sitting by the fire with his sleeping boy's in his embrace, Ben was haunted by his words. Young Wolf was pained with grief. His grief so immense it consumed him. The inability to exact justice with his own hand, made the pangs all the more worse. They were so fierce that they plagued his dreams. At least he hoped that's what it was. Stories have been told of the Indian's dreams. How sometimes they are so powerful they give the dreamer a chance to see the future. Young Wolf seemed pretty convinced that, that was what this was. Ben prayed to his own God to save his children. As long as Chief Winnemucca remained chief, Ben felt he would keep his boy in line. If that day ever came when Young Wolf would take over his rightful heir as chief, he prayed his grief would have subsided to a dull ache. If not, hell's fury would be upon he and the Cartwright household. Young Wolf would come and he would bring the whole Paiute nation with him.


	12. Chapter 12 Contending Monsters

**Chapter**

Contending Monsters

After the funeral, Hoss went right back to bed. Spending day after day there recovering from his injuries. The older bruises fading, the more recent slowly spreading. He couldn't handle the idea of sleeping in the same bed his best friend had died in and Joe sure wasn't going to sleep alone. So they all shared Ben's bed. Ben's king sized bed was large and could handle the capacity but seemed comparably smaller accommodating his two son's. As days turned into weeks, Ben would soon realize that Hoss's physical injuries weren't the ones that kept him immobilized. The injuries that kept his son bed ridden were emotional ones. Every day when Ben and Joe would get up and dress for the day, Hoss would remain behind.

Ben even went as far as getting rid of the older beds and buying newer ones but it didn't help changing Hoss's mood. He sunk down into impotency. Depression. The beds had changed, but that was still the room.

Joe strived to return things to normal but at his brothers impotency he had struggled with this task. He tried everything he could think of to cheer Hoss up. Bringing his toys in to play with him. Bringing in the checkers set. Telling him jokes and funny stories both of which he make up on the spot. When none of that worked he begin to allow himself to believe that Hoss's mood was his fault. Hoss was still mad at him because of what he had said to him. When nothing else worked, he apologized, profusely.

"I'm sorry Hoss, for saying that I hate you. It wasn't true. I was just mad." When that didn't work, he slipped away and stopped coming back.

~.~

Two more weeks had passed with Hoss laid up and Little Joe keeping his distance. Little Joe missed his brother though. His absence had left a hole in him. When his pa was away and Hopsing distracted with other matters, Joe sauntered up the stairs and down the hallway which was never before, but now was dreary. The energy within these walls was gloomy. He slides opens the door to his pa's room. Without asking permission he crawls onto the bed. He sits there silently staring at his older brother. Though Hoss had grown to miss his little brother, he found Joe's scrutinizing gaze to be uncomfortably awkward.

"What, Joe?" Hoss finally asked, coming off as perturbed.

"Pa says, that if you want something bad enough, to ask God." Joe responded. "Do you think that's true Hoss?" Hoss slunk his head back into the pillow. At his brothers in-answers he continued. "When that man took you away, I prayed. I prayed so hard Hoss, for you to return. I prayed and I prayed. With all my might I prayed and then you came back. I was so happy when I saw you again. God had answered my prayers." Joe stopped a moment as he reflected. "I was wrong to be happy, wasn't I? You didn't really come home, did you? You're still there. You died there, didn't you?" Hoss looked up at his brother. Even every night when he'd crawl into bed with him and they'd all sleep together, Hoss wasn't really there. It was like lying with a corpse. "Oh Hoss." He wrapped his arms around his big brother. "I don't want you to be dead. I miss you, Hoss. I miss you so much. I wished you'd come back. Please come back." Hoss fought the tears but it was a losing battle as the tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

~.~

Ben came home after a day in town. The living quarters were empty. He heard rattling in the kitchen and imagined Little Joe was in there with Hopsing. Little Joe had stopped visiting Hoss during daytime hours. There had grown a rift between them. He thought he'd leave Hopsing and Joe alone for a bit. His first stop would be the boy upstairs. He had news for him. The room was dark. Just as he had expected, Hoss was alone. "Hey, Hoss. How are you feeling?" His silence was his answer. "I thought you should know that William's isn't the only one who has chosen to quit. Mrs. Harper is retiring as well. The school board is working on finding a replacement." Hoss rolled over. He wasn't sure how his son would take this news. He pretty much got what he expected. He had better news than this. "I got a letter from Adam." He showed it to his son, hoping this would cheer him. "Would you like me to read it?" Hoss remained with his back to his pa. Ben gave up the battle. "Perhaps another time." With a peck on his son's head he got up and went for the door.

"Joe told me I was dead." Hoss said as his hand met the door handle. Ben furrowed his brows and glanced back at his son. "He said that I died in that room. Do you think that's true?" Hoss continued before his pa could answer. "I think he might be right." Ben fought a tremor rise in his hands. "That's not very fair to him, is it?" The tears were in his son's eyes. "He said, he prayed for me to come back, but I really didn't. I don't want to be dead, Pa, but I just don't know how to live anymore."

"Oh, Son." Ben went back over and sat next to him, touching his arm.

"I was scared pa. When McCabe had me in that room. I was so scared of dying."

"I know son."

"Now, it seems like I'm afraid to live." The words haunted the pater.

"Hoss look at me. Please answer this question. Do you have thoughts of hurting yourself?"

"I don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. It's all jumbled in my head." That wasn't a yes, but that wasn't a no. Perhaps his son hadn't worked it out to that point yet. "I don't think it's fair that Kyle died, even though he was mean to me. In his last moments, he wasn't the same boy he had been in school. You should have seen him pa. He was different. He defended me. Again and again he stood up for me. But he loved his pa. Like I love you. Only his pa wasn't like you. Nothing like you. Kyle died defending him. Even though his pa was mean to him, he loved him anyways. I don't think it's fair that he died. Maybe things could have been different. In a different time, a different world, maybe we could have been friends. Maybe I could have helped him. If I knew, I could have saved him. I could have told someone what was happening to him. Travis knew. He could have said something. How come he didn't tell anyone?"

"I'm not sure son. He could have been afraid of violating Kyle's trust. Maybe Travis thought he was doing Kyle a favor by keeping his secret."

"Why do you think Travis was mean to me? He comes from a good home. Good parents. Why did he turn out the way he did?"

"I think there might be some on this earth that are all good and others that are all bad. I think either of these are a lot fewer than we'd like to imagine. I think that most of us are both. Travis was terrible to you, admittedly. But he befriended Kyle because Kyle needed him too. Who knows, he might have seen something in Kyle that the rest of us missed. That he was struggling with something. Travis did what he could for Kyle. Inviting him to his home. Keeping him away from his pa as much as he could. The problem was in this, that as good as a friend as he tried to be, he wasn't strong enough to fight the anger that Kyle had within him. To remain friends with him he felt he had to join him. Instead of lifting Kyle out of the darkness he was in, Kyle ended up pulling Travis in."

"You think if Travis would have told someone what he knew, things would have been different for Kyle?" They both reflected. "If I told someone what was happening to me, it might have been found out. Maybe I could have saved Kyle."

"I think you've learned an important lesson. When you're struggling, don't be afraid to ask for help. But if you're trying to take on the burden of Kyle's death alone, that would be an unfair weight to carry. We all saw signs and turned away. Some even knew the truth and did nothing. If you see injustice happen and do nothing then you share in the guilt. But you can't go around taking the blame for things you didn't know was happening.

"You blame yourself for me, even though you didn't know." His son was right and that was a point he couldn't contend.

"I should have known. You're my son."

"But you didn't, so it's not your fault pa, it's mine." As he grasped for the right words his son admitted something that debilitated him.

"When my friends died, I wanted to die too." This was the answer to the question he sought just a moment prior. It panged the father to hear it though. "I just didn't think it fair that I live and these other boys are gone. Just by living, I betray them. I act like they didn't matter. Like their lives weren't important."

"I've lived and I had three great loves in my life. When they died, each time I felt like I wanted to give up. But it wasn't fair to them to do that. They invested something into this world that they were no longer here to tend to. I had to live, for them. For you."

"That's not the same thing though, is it Pa? None of those boy's got to live long enough to have children."

"But that didn't mean they didn't live long enough to put investments into this world. To put roots down in it."

"What do you mean?"

"Family. Friends. Home. Skills. Knowledge. You. What they taught you. What you learned. The good and the bad and who you became because of them. Don't you get it son? You living keeps them alive, in your stories, in your actions, in your words, in your deeds. You can keep their spirits alive. They live in you. Only when the last memory of them dies does the last tie of them to this earth die with them."

~.~

Hoss had spent the remainder of the day in bed, reflecting on the words of his pa and brother. That night was the same. Little words were exchanged, Joe disheartened that nothing had changed. If nothing else though, Joe had said his piece. If all his words ended up being was a goodbye than he had said what he needed to. He pulled Hoss's arm over him and tucked his body into Hoss, wanting to feel his warmth before he would inevitably never again get the chance. Hoss's tears soaked his pillow as he toiled with what he had done to his brother.

The next morning Ben had taken Joe away. Joe was going to help him tend some various ranch work. He did this for both their sakes. So Joe couldn't say anything more harmful to Hoss and to get Joe's mind on other matters. Hoss laid in bed an hour or more after his pa was gone. Something inside him told him enough was enough. He had become stagnant for too long. He had deteriorated to the point where he was barely able to care for his basic needs and functions. He felt dizzy as he sat upright. After a moment to correct himself, he slipped on his slippers and was out the door.

Ben was surprised to see his son on the couch when he came in with Joe for lunch. He had a cup of hot chocolate in hand and Hopsing was busying himself, stuffing pillows around the boy. The servant stood upright giving Ben a sly smile. Little Joe smiled brightly like he was discovering presents under a Christmas tree.

"Puhaps you like hot chocolate too." Hopsing said as more of a suggestion. "I make nuff hot chocolate for everyone."

"I think that's a grand idea." Ben agreed.

"Maybe Little Joe help bwing dem out." Hopsing took the ecstatic boy by the hand and led him into the confines of the kitchen.

"How are you doing son?"

"The room was starting to feel a bit stuffy."

"You feel like joining us for lunch?"

"I sure am hungry pa."

Ben smiled wanly. "It's good to have you up son."

~.~

Hoss was up and trying. He was no longer bed ridden but he still struggled with the images swimming in his head and all the events that had happened that fateful night. Everything that led up to it and everything that follow. He tried. God how he tried, for Joe, to be the boy he used to be. No matter how hard he reached for him though, that boy wouldn't come. There was just too much to contend with.

Little Joe, with renewed hope that his brother had come back to him, felt that if he just kept trying, his brother would recover fully. It would take time but they just had to keep working at it, as a family. Joe knew he had his part to play too. He was not so young that he escaped his role. Hoss was his best friend. His role was great. Like the mothers had done, Joe showered Hoss, with gifts and games and stories. Filling the air with his stories. Hoss's quietude didn't matter. He did enough talking for the both of them. Heck, he did enough talking for the whole family. God, how Hoss loved that boy.

~.~

"Adam!" Joe exclaimed in a shout as the buggy strolled into the yard. "Pa! It's Adam." He shouted again before running out and jumping into the arms of his eldest brother.

"Hey Little Joe." Adam greeted warmly. Ben who was upstairs came down at the commotion.

After giving Hoss a soft smile he went out to meet his boy. "I got something for you Joe." Adam says setting Joe back down as their pa comes out to join them.

"What is it?"

"Well Little Joe, a little birdie told me that you're riding horses now."

"What kind of bird?" Joe asked the queer question, stumping Adam. He looked up as if he was thinking.

"Um, a robin I think." He said recalling the bird he had read about in pa's letters. "A red little thing. He came to tell me all about the broken wing it once had and how you and Hoss saved it." Joe giggled emphatically.

"That's not true. It was Pa that told you wasn't it?" Joe queried calling Adam on his bluff.

"Um." Adam thought again. "Are you sure?"

"Come on." Joe giggled again.

"Alright, alright."

"So what'd you bring?"

"Well, I figured that since you got so good at riding horses that the next step would be to start taming them." Joe was puzzled. Adam reached into his bags and pulled from it a beautifully carved and painted wooden horse. Joe's eyes lit up with wonder. "I figured you could start with this one."

"Oh thank you Adam. Thank you." He hugged him heartily and scampered off to Hoss who was standing in the doorway. "Look Hoss, look what Adam gave me." Hoss gave Joe a soft smile and Joe brushes past him into the house. "Hopsing! Hopsing!" The voice faded as Joe went on the scrounge for the servant bringing smiles to the father and son who were left outside.

"How've you been son?"

"I'm good pa. How's Hoss?" He wasted no time getting to the heart of it. After all, this was why he was here. Wasn't it?

"He's better. He's up and moving about now." Adam could see that, as Hoss stared on from the door, bothersome that he hadn't come out to greet him.

"He's struggling still?"

"Truthfully I'm glad you came. I'm hoping your presence here will do him some good." Hoss stood in the doorway waiting for his brother to approach.

"Help me get into the house, will you?"

"Of course." Ben smiled pulling two of the three bags off the buggy. Adam taking the third.

"Hey Hoss." His bruises had faded to pastel yellows and greens. He took in his brothers injuries doing his best not to let the twisting in his stomach come through in his countenance. "How you doing?"

"Why'd you come back?" Hoss wasn't intending for that question sound as inimical as it did. Off step for a hairs breadth Adam responded with vigor.

"What I'm not allowed to visit my only family?" He said opening his arms.

"I'm sorry." Hoss opened his to receive his big brother. "It's good to have you back."

"I got something for you too." Hoss stood over his brother as he kneels down to open the case he brought in. By far the longest of the three. He was humoring him now as he felt in no mood to entertain nor for surprises. Adam pulled out a thin pole. "It comes all the way from the east coast." What little amusement Hoss could feign faded at the sight of it. His features drooped as he recalled what happened to his last pole. Abandoned and forsaken with the acquisition of friendship. Adam caught Hoss's distress and glanced at his father hoping he hadn't screwed this up. So early. Hoss recomposed himself and offered his elder brother an appreciative smile.

"Thank you."

"What do you say we take this thing to the lake tomorrow and break it in?" Hoss knew what his elder brother was up too. He was in no mood to leave the house to go anywhere let alone the lake. Though, he didn't want to disappoint his brother who came all the way down here for him. He had to try. Just like he was trying for Joe. He had to try for Adam.

~.~

They set out just after breakfast. The three of them quiet near the whole way as they took in the beauty of the morning. As they neared Hoss's favorite fishing spot, Hoss stopped his horse. He just stopped and stared on ahead. Adam backed up to join him. "This was the spot I met them." He seemed almost fearful to approach. Adam glanced back at Little Joe whom he really wished wasn't there at the moment. He really wanted this time alone with Hoss but knew how unfair it would be to Joe to leave him behind. After seeing his brother come home from so long away, how crushed he would feel at being left out.

"I know. Pa told me." Adam said humbly. Little Joe seeing Hoss's repose knowing his older brother was here to fix things, let Adam work. Hoss wondered, if he knew, then why Adam would bring him here of all places. "Come on Hoss. Let's go in. I'll go with you." Adam gently locked arm in arm and led Hoss, horse and all in. Joe followed behind his brothers.

Joe was at peace again as he splashed around in the water having both brother's back together again, though he knew it would be short-lived he would enjoy it as long as the Good Lord allowed him to. Hoss and Adam sat on the shore pole in hand. The whole scene taking on a familiarity to the last time Adam was home. The wise words he tried to impart. Get out more, make some friends. _Well I made some friends Adam. How about that? _Hoss pushed the sour thoughts away.

"Why'd you come back? Really?" Hoss started. Adam glanced at him through the corner of his eye then took in a deep breath with pursed lips. At the risk of Joe overhearing it was time for him to be completely honest. He was going to do what he came out here to do.

"For you Hoss. I came back for you. Pa told me what had happened to you." He figured as much. "I had to say something to you that just wouldn't come out right if I said them in a letter. I needed you to hear the tone of my voice when I said this and I needed to see your face."

"What? What do you have to say?"

"I came to tell you… that I was sorry."

"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I can't help but feel some sense of responsibility over what happened to you."

"It's not your fault."

"No, not entirely. These were circumstances beyond our control. Nobody could have foreseen what would come. Predict what would happen. Not even you, but I do share a part in it."

"How would you share a part? You always protected me."

"I used to think so. I was wrong. I thought that I was protecting you by keeping what was happening to you a secret. I've come to realize that secrets like these do more harm than good. When we keep secrets like these from adults we deny them the opportunity to make things better."

"When pa did find out it got worse." Hoss contended.

"What did he find out?" Adam shot up looking at his brother straight in the eyes. "That you were being hurt? What else? Did he know how you were being hurt? How bad or how often? Most importantly, did he know who?" Hoss dropped his head. "How could we have expected him to make things better for you without telling him?"

"What if it did only get worse?" Adam leaned back again.

"Worse than this?" Adam said as an ill-timed joke. Which Hoss didn't take well. "Listen, it might have gotten worse before it got better but only by being completely honest could we have allowed the opportunity for it to have gotten better."

"Why me?" Adam looked up at Hoss wondering what he was asking. "Why did Kyle take it out on me?"

"Oh." He took in a contemplative breath. "Because you were easy." He said with sureness. "Because you were gentle and kind and masqueraded as a challenge. Kyle needed to crush you to feel some sense of empowerment over his own life. Controlling the giant made up for his inability to control the monster." He could see Hoss was struggling with this concept. "Pa tells me you read Frankenstein at school." If his brother was trying to change the subject this was a poor way to start. But how could he know the trauma behind the book? "When Kyle called himself Dr. Frankenstein and you the monster I think there might have been some truth in that." That was probably the worst thing his big brother could have ever said to him. He took it as a devastating blow. Why would he say that? "You assume Dr. Frankenstein was the hero in the story. Why?" Hoss thought about the question. _Wasn't he?_ "Do you remember the story? Do you remember the monster? When the monster was born, think back, to the first spark of life. There was innocence in him. Wasn't there? He wanted nothing more than to experience love. Like we all do. To be loved. To be accepted. The very basic need of every babe… of every man. It's the core of every human desire. But he was denied this, wasn't he? Rejected. First by his creator and then by society. Because of this a darkness brooded. Kyle hurt you. He rejected you. In a way, he created you. He made you into the angry person you became, in the same way the doctor created his monster. You ever stop to think that perhaps it was Dr. Frankenstein who was the real monster for the way he rejected his creation."

"He was human."

"Yes he was and he made mistakes much as we all do and he was suffering from his own demons."

"Wait are we still talking about Frankenstein?"

"and Kyle. For they are one in the same. He too was human. He was angry. He was afraid. Kyle had his own monster to contend with. The constant fight to be loved by the one person he needed it from the most, his creator. But he too was rejected. His father created Kyle as Kyle created you. You were struggling with something you kept inside. You can't keep a secret that big and not expect some of it to spill out. It did spill out. Didn't it?" Hoss looked at his brother curiously. "Onto Little Joe." Suddenly, he understood. "In the same way Kyle was keeping a secret. He was struggling with something at home that would spill out at school. Onto you."

They spent several minutes in silence as Hoss took in Adam's words. "I got one!" Joe shouted emphatically, lifting a goliath from the water before the feisty thing whipped the boy with his tail to escape. Joe dropped his shoulders disappointedly and stared into the water with a pout. Hoss and Adam burst out in the absurdity in it. Though disappointed in his loss, Joe couldn't help but smile in his heart. It has been so long sense he heard his brother's laugh. Both of them for that matter. He kept his face in a scowl to not ruin the moment. But even this he couldn't maintain for too long. Evident when the sides of his lips rose up into his cheeks, as he did his best to fight off the smile.

"I've got one more surprise for you." Hoss queried. "You're getting your own room. So is Joe. Pa and I have talked about it we're changing the whole upper floor. Adding on to it."

"You're going to do it?"

"Well not me personally but I'll draw up the plans." Hoss gave him a funny look. "Well am I an architecture major or what?"

"Minor and you've only been in school for one year." Adam laughed. "I'm not going to do it alone. We're hiring Mr. Skinner to help out."

Over the next few weeks Hoss's mood gradually improved with time. Adam drew up plans just as he promised. Namely adding five more rooms to the upper story. The room that he grew up in, that he shared with his brothers would be turned into a guest room. They would each get their own room upstairs with two more guest rooms.

~.~

"I met the new teacher today." Ben mentioned that evening over the dinner table. "She was young and proper. Not much older than Adam. She specializes in raising good ladies and gentlemen. God fearers with the love of the arts. Poetry, music, theater. Her name's Ms. Abigail Jones. I think you'll like her. Give her a try Hoss. For me?"

"I'll go with you." Joe offered, with those words letting everyone in the room know that he was ready for school.

"Give her a try." His pa plead.

"Sure pa." Hoss replied and Joe smiled broadly.

~.~

They saw Adam off once again. Each saying their goodbye's and watching the stage leave. The house would get finished over the next few weeks without him.

~.~

On the first day of school after the beautiful summer, father and sons rode side by side on the roadway to town. Hoss had to be reintroduced into the school environment. After all that had happened to him, his father vowed he would go with him to help him get readjusted.

Halfway between home and town, as they approached the turnoff to the old McCabe place, Hoss's breathing changed. It picked up. His chest rose and fell as he was trying to draw in breath. His horse fell behind the others. Joe glanced back at his brother whose face bore the look of dread. It was paled and clammy. His hands were trembling.

"You okay Hoss?" Joe asked. He was going to be sick. He dropped off the horse heading into the adjacent brush, where he lost his breakfast. Ben jumped off his horse and went to his boy.

"Son, son." He rubbed his back cajolingly. "It's alright. It's alright son. We're not going." Perhaps it was too soon. A little bit more time. "We're going home."

~.~

The following day Joe was taken to school alone. Hoss went back to work on the ranch, finding comfort in this. Familiarity. A sense of purpose. Several more weeks past and Hoss was gaining back his confidence and becoming more comfortable with his surroundings.

The deal went through giving Ben five hundred more acres of land to contend with and contend they did. It was difficult work taming this wild country. The work load grew with the proportion of the ranch. Ben wondered if there would ever be a right time for Hoss to go back to school. He was happy again. He felt most at peace when he was helping Reagan with the ranch, but all that would change again the moment he took him back to school. Right or wrong, he never brought it up to Hoss again.

Joe wouldn't quite have the same experience as Hoss had. His biggest problem would end up, not so much being bullied as he made friends easily, it was more so not sitting still. He was liable to fly right out his desk at times. Not to say he didn't get picked on. He'd be attacked for being puny. Joe was fiery though and didn't take bullying sitting down. Ben was smarter now. Wiser. When Little Joe would come home trying to hide a bruise he'd gotten at school, he knew what to look out for.


	13. Chapter 13 Epilogue Horse? Just Hoss

**Epilogue**

The winter was cold with the falling snow. The men sat by the warmth of the fire. Hoss and Little Joe were playing their usual round of checkers. Joe had caught on to the rules of the game and has even started picking up on the idea of strategy and reading your opponent. Hoss used to let him win a year ago. He didn't have to any longer. Little Joe won a good number of them all on his own.

Horses stampede into the yard. Hoss looks back at the door then at his brother who bore the look of concern. Ben stands up and reaches for his pistol in the top drawer. The footsteps on the porch led to a banging at the door. The two boys stood. Ben motioned with his pistol to get into the corner. Gun at the ready he opened the door. A man in a blue army uniform and dark handlebar moustache stood out of breath before him. A cloud of mist escaped his mouth at every breath.

"Are you the master of the house?"

"Yes. How can I help you?"

"My men were tracking two escaped prisoners. We believe they may be hiding out on your land sir."

"You believe? What makes you say that?"

"Well sir, we followed the tracks to your boundary line but lost the trail about a quarter mile in. The snow, it was just falling too fast." Hoss stepped forward.

"Show me where you last lost them." The father looked down at his son who had grown another two inches since summer growing into the man he was soon to be. Soon he would be taller than him. He smiled softly and so proudly, so very, very proud.

"What's your name boy?"

"Hoss."

"Horse?" The boy looked at his pa before responding.

"No. Not Horse. Just Hoss."


End file.
